November 30, 2011 (10:30 pm) Not much to say tonight, except that I did make a fine pot of stew, and went for a walk. I love walking this time of year, there are some fantastic Christmas lights in the neighborhood!

November 21, 2011 (11:30 pm) It's late and I'm tired but after my nightly perusal of the news there are too many irritating things not to make comments, so here we go.

Item #1, file under "your undeserving whiners" - headline reads "How Huguette Clark, reclusive copper heiress, spent her fortune". Sounds like it could be interesting or funny, but I'm not amused. The heiress' spending habits were brought to light as a result of a lawsuit against her estate by her relatives because she didn't leave any of her fortune to them. Here's the deal "relatives", Her father left his fortune to her. In life she could spend it any way she wanted and in death she can leave it to whoever or whatever she wants. How can any of them hold their head up high and claim they have a right or deserve a piece of this?

Item #2, file under "liberal media bias" - headline reads "Fox News Viewers Uninformed, NPR Listeners Not, Poll Suggests". Sounds pretty funny, make fun of people who watch the very admittedly right leaning Fox news. When you get a little deeper into the story (which most people won't) you come to find out that saying one group is "informed" and one is "not informed" is a little misleading. Should read "less informed". Here's the best part, when you hit the seventh paragraph (I promise John Stewart won't have made it that far preparing for tonight's show) it states "The kicker is that MSNBC (unabashedly left leaning) didn't "do all that much better". The very end of the story goes on to say ideological media does a poor job overall. Much different message than you got with the headline, huh?

Item #3, file under "see item #1" - headline reads "Gates testifies in $1B lawsuit against Microsoft". Novell, the owner of Wordperfect way-back-when is suing Microsoft for One Billion Dollars because it claims Microsoft did "stuff" to Windows 95 so it couldn't run Wordperfect, thus giving the upper hand to Microsoft's own product, Word. Uh, help me here. First, we're taking about something that happened over 15 years ago. How convenient to sue now that Microsoft is a $210 billion company. Let's think about this - Microsoft spends the money, time, and risk to develop a new operating system, and it doesn't support the product of another company who's software directly competes with its own. How is that in any way unfair? If there's justice Novell doesn't win. I would reply Novell should have developed its own operating system. So there.

Item #4, file under "what did you expect?" - headline reads "Panel set to fail to cut deficit $1.2 trillion". So it appears the special deficit reduction "super committee" will fail to come to any resolution to it's task of figuring out how to cut $1.2 trillion in spending over the next ten years. For those of you watch Fox News that's $120 billion dollars a year, or in percentage terms 3% annually of the current $3.73 trillion annual federal budget. Twelve of the supposedly finest minds in elected office can't figure out that the answer is to bring in $120 billion more revenue per year, or cut $120 billion from the annual budget, or a combination of the two. Here's a little more perspective - the current total deficit is $15 trillion dollars, and we're set to add over $1 trillion more in 2012. And to think we can't 3%, which is a true drop in the bucket? Ella, Sofia - good luck!

Item #5, file under "humor" - headline reads "World's cheapest car gets a makeover". Of course we're referring to the Indian made Tata Nano, sibling (believe it or not) to the Jaguar and Land Rover. The headline could read "World's crappiest car since the Yugo" but that wouldn't be nice. Here's the funny part, the engine will be increased to 38 horsepower (or 1/3 "Nakimoto Power", and they note the car will have a "racier sounding exhaust". That's cheap, crappy car code for we increased the power a little but don't have the money to make the exhaust quiet.

Item #6, file under "different perspectives" - two related but separate headlines. First, "'Time has come' to act on Iran, Israel says". Second, "AP source: US to hit Iran with new sanctions". I'm guessing when Israel says "time has come" they intend to do something meaningful they're thing military action. Indeed the sources in the article are not ruling that out. There's certainly not talking about more sanctions. If I had a historian sitting next to me I would ask "have economic sanctions ever influenced a leadership to change policies"? I would guess the answer to be somewhere between "rarely" and "never". The sanctions article says the new sanctions will target Iranian companies, the Revolutionary Guard force (how the heck is that supposed to work?) and petrochemicals. Here's the rub - neither Russia nor China is on board, and since they both have UN veto power without their support this won't happen, and if the US goes it along it won't make a bit of difference. Here's to another weak move by the placation / PC ideological nation we've become. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, because sometimes that tactic is possible. Let's face it - Obama is a old school Chicago politics "sugar on the outside / break your legs on the inside" politician, so he could give Amandinejihad a call and say look, here's the scoop. We did this with Russia in the cold war and now we'll do it to you. The nukes we have today make Hiroshima look like a Roman Candle. You go ahead and make your bomb. The second it goes off every city in Iran with over 14 people has a ICBM on the way. Now I sound like I watch Fox News.

Item #7, file under "double take" - this is very sad and I don't mean to take light of a tragedy but I did do a double-take here. Headline reads "15 eunuchs killed in fire at ceremony in India". The double-take is, there are still eunuchs?

Item #8, file under "seriously" - headline reads "Inmates harass victims via Facebook", apparently people in prison are using smuggled smartphones to send messages via "social networking sites" (PC for "Facebook") to their victims or their families. We don't have enough control in our prisons to keep out smartphones? Seriously?

October 20, 2011 (10:45 pm) I owe you a day - yesterday nothing really happened. We did get Indian food, and we figured our the extremely delicious mystery dish that the proprieter comped us one night - It's Paneer Tikka Masala. Damn good. I do have a new rule, no more sweets. I had a rule no more Bengali Treats but I had to expand that to include all Indian sweets. Because I have no self control, I can have none at all. For example, they carry eggless fruit cake, it's a tray with 10 individual slices. It's not good, because it's fruitcake, but I get it. Two meals later and it's all gone. So no more sweets. We also need to cook more at home.

Today was also uneventful. Picked up Lisa on the early train (6:15) and we came home, heated leftover Indian food, and watched a couple of episodes of "Maury" (You ARE the father!). I went for a hour+ walk, and now ot's time for bed.

October 18, 2011 (10:45 pm) So I figure at the very least the Lame Web Page can be a diary of the day's Lame activities. I still haven't figured out the new Windows 7 infrastructure for Lame Web Page updates and continued Flash innovation, so for now I sit here writing in Notepad without a spell-check parachute. Let's see what happened today. Took Lisa to the train, worked, picked Lisa up, took her to Sonic for a tea (I like tea, but not to the tune of $3), ate leftover Chinese food, watched episodes of "Maury" and "Auction Hunters" (all with Lisa of course), took a long walk, and now here I sit.

I'll report on the Chinese food. My "Hao Hao" favorite for a long time was "Happy Family", which is 4 difference delicious meats with some token vegetables in a rich, delicious brown sauce. Lisa always get tofu with broccoli. I would taste it and absolutely love it. Hao Hao has homemade tofu as an option and it does make a difference. So I searched the menu for something with tofu in sauce similar to the "Happy Family". I tried "Homestyle Tofu" and love it. But after a while I wondered if I was just forgetting how much I like Happy Family, so that's what I got. I definitely prefer the tofu.

October 3, 2011 (10:45 pm) I'm shocked this isn't bigger news - Fermilab has shut down it's Tevatron particle accelerator after 25 years of use. For that time the US was at the cutting edge of physics, until 2008 when the really, really big particle accelerator came online in Switzerfrance. Not for a lack of stunning research results, but for a lack of funding. The Government can come up with a jobs bill that costs $200,000 per job expected to be created, and we can't come up with $35 million to keep this running another 2 years. I could get into a serious rant here but I'm tired.

In other news, Pandora pulled a good one on me today. I assume at some point I indicated I'm an adult because it played "America, f&#k Yeah!" from "Team America". To express its diversity it then played "Brown Eyed Girl".

September 15, 2011 (10:45 pm) Most useless thing on the internet - Yahoo's "trending now" list. For example, today's list is as follows (with my thoughts and comments of course):

1. Elisabeth Hasselbeck - I'm not entirely sure who this is
2. Pia Toscano - Again, no clue
3. Chad Ochocinco - I know him, not sure why he's "trending"

4. Scarlett Johansson - I consider this entry valid under the definition "trending", more in a moment 5. Cell phones - that's a bit general, don't you think? "Trending" perhaps in the mid-90s but I'm pretty sure they're just a given now
6. Olivia Wilde - Playwright, possibly? Playwrights write, right? Why aren't they "playwrites"?
7. Tatooine - DB, can you please confirm if this is related in any way to "Star Wars"?
8. Brown dwarf - I assume this is a type of star, or perhaps a character on a telenovella.
9. Conjoined twins - Seriously, being a conjoined twin is trending now? I assume "trending" means on the path to being "trendy", right? So Snookie has to figure out how to be a conjoined twin?
10. Flu - ok, so I guess with flu season around the corner it is legitimately trending

I used to worry when I saw this list that a particular celebrity was either dead, dying, or arrested. Then I tried clicking on the entries only to find very little I would call earth-shattering (or trending). However I did click on "Scarlette Johansson" to find that the trend is nude pictures were hacked off her cell phone and "spread like wildfire" throughout the internet. My concern here is how could something spread like wildfire in the internet and I, an internet user, not be aware of it? I'm going to get to the bottom of this (no pun intended).

June 26, 2011 (10:45 pm) Back home at the Cove, what a week, what a week. Don't care much for weeks like this. Not much fun to report in the news. Quick one - a preschool in Stockholm has taken all indications of gender differences (i.e. using works like "him" or "her") out of the culture. According to one teacher society expects girls to be girlie and boys to be manly. She goes on to say their school gives them a "fantastic opportunity" to be whoever they want to be". Seriously, some people are off the deep end. There's not an entity out there call "society" calling the shots like some God-force. "Society" and the "norms" or expectations of are created organically by the organisms (people!) of which it's composed. Let's look at some research - I have two nieces and my best friend has a little boy. I've not spend nearly enough time around them but the time I have spent I've made a few observations. My nieces act like girls. My friend's kid acts like a boy. For example - last weekend we saw Alex and Happy at their family reunion, and I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with him. I was also able to observe his interaction with other kids. I should start by mentioning not one time did I remind happy he's a boy. I gave him a fantastic opportunity to be whoever he wanted to be. And he wanted to get into everything, turn the cranks that open the windows, pull on the blinds, run up the stairs, get into the fountain outside, and drive the gold carts. A girl he had his eye on (and was a couple of years older) wanted to make sure he ate cake, hold his hand, and keep him from going where the tables were stored. Yes folks, she cared for him. And Happy did boy stuff. Because he's a boy. I don't understand my people (especially those in Sweden) want to turn a blind eye to the fact that boys and girls are different. Different physically, mentally, and behaviorally. These "experiments" inevitable involve the de-masculation of the environment. This stupid school even mentions "gender stereotypes." Don't be too quick to slap that label on something, "stereotype" implies something is bad, and probably incorrect, or limited to a very small sample of a particular group and thus shouldn't be broadly applied to everyone in the group. But boys being boys and girls being girls is not a stereotype! It's a fact, and a difference, and it should be acknowledged and appreciated.

June 15, 2011 (10:15 pm) I don't mean to brag (maybe a little) but I made the best chicken parmesan tonight, I'll post the recipe. Trust me, it was that good!

June 13, 2011 (7:00 pm) I though I was doing pretty well against the computer on my iPhone Scrabble, winning about 60% of the games, until I noticed the computer was on "normal" as the skill level. I cranked it up to "hard" and played a game. I got stomped 551 to 242. Mr. computer used words like "inurbane", "fencible", "hoise", and "oozily". I can either practice harder or go back to normal to preserve my game-ego. I'll let you know.

I saw a headline "Baboon adopts bush baby" and immediately thought about Jenna, but it turns out a "bush baby" is a creature of some sort. I'm looking at a picture but still not exactly sure. Today's "Liberal Media Bias" headline and article, by Elspeth Reeve (seriously) in the Atlantic Wire - "Herman Cain: Obama "Was Raised in Kenya". The headline is true, Republican candidate Herman Cane, who is black, did say that in a debate, and it's totally incorrect. The funny part is he said that to indicate his opinion that President Obama is out of touch with the American people. He went on to point out Obama has a very international background (true, spent formative years in Indonesia and Hawaii), stayed in the academic environment for a long time (true), spend most of his career as an "intellectual" (true). The moderator corrected Cain on the error and it was no big deal. But of course the headline and the first paragraph try and make Cain out to be a gaffing idiot. And we all know most people read only the headline and first paragraph. Never mind the valid points. And that's your "Liberal Media Bias" for today.

Congratulations Mavericks, good riddance Lebron and your merry gang of childish thugs. You got what you deserve. History judges athletes on one criteria alone - championships. Prepare to be "just another player" in the record books.

Children's book author Robert Sayegh was ejected from a flight because us exclaimed the f-bomb in response to a delay. Check your bag and check your right to free speech! A flight attendant alerted the police, not a passenger. Talk about overreaction.

A federal judge is considering whether California's Prop. 8 trial judge may have been biased because the judge is gay. If he can't be an impartial judge and weigh the merits of the case based on the law of the land he needs to be off the bench, period.

Encore of liberal media bias - AFP story "Court denies US citizenship to American's son". Gist of the article is Ruben Flores-Villar was born in Mexico to a Mexican women, who had the child out of wedlock with an American man. Interestingly, there's a line "In 2006, he was arrested and tried as an illegal alien, sentenced him three and a half years in prison and expelled to Mexico". I believe the correct terms is "deported". Anyway, that clearly reads he was arrested for being in America illegally, right? A little non-AFP research reveals he was arrested for smuggling drugs from Tiajuana and upon arrested revealed to be an illegal alien. Just sayin.

June 6, 2011 (10:45 pm) Lots of good reading in the Yahoo News section today. Great story about a couple whose house was wrongly foreclosed on by Bank of America. Problem was they had no mortgage, in fact they paid cash for the house. They hired a lawyer and what was an obvious mistake the bank backed off. However, they had racked up over $2,500.00 in lawyer's fees. They went to the bank for compensation and were ignored (believe me I know, I'm a BoA customer). So they were forced to take legal action, and a judge ruled in their favor. Five months and many phone calls later Boa still hadn't paid up (go ahead, use some of the tax money I gave you). So they took the last resort action of obtaining a foreclosure order on the bank, and went as far as executing the order with a Sheriff's deputy. Only at the bank did the branch manager finally compensate them. Sweet justice!

Today's "Freedom Watch" story (I should make this a regular feature): A guy in New Mexico who says his ex-girlfriend had an abortion against his wishes has put up a billboard of himself holding the outline of a baby with the caption "This would be a picture of my 2 month old baby if my girlfriend hadn't KILLED him" or something to that extend. Queue giant uproar - arguments include invasion of privacy and emotional stress for the girlfriend. A court order has been issued to force the removal of the billboard, which he is going to fight. Here's the deal, just like the hellbound sleezebags of Westboro Baptist, free speech is protected by our constitution and freedom from being offended is not. Nothing trumps free speech, ever. You just need to accept it and move on. Also right or wrong sometimes actions have consequences.

Scientists at CERN have created an isolated antimatter in a magentic field "container". Might be on the back page today but someday you'll remember where you were when you first heard this. Make me made what would have been the world's largest super conducting super collider in Texas was abandoned for lack of funding after wasting billions of dollars. Way to go.

A man in Utah was arrested for disorderly conduct when he paid a $25 medical bill with pennies. Problem #1 - if it's US currency it's legal to settle debt, period. Problem #2 - this guy is a great example of the problem with our attitude towards healthcare. We keep electing the same politicians when it costs us $80 to fill our gas tanks (Mr. Nakimoto laughs), Applebee's tells us 2 for $25 is a great deal for dinner, and this tool get's miffed having to pay $25.00 for what is without a doubt the most valuable think we can have - our health. I would tell him he doesn't need to pay the $25 but take back whatever he had done, or expose him to germs to get him sick again, or whatever.

In today's political news, I'm sure you've been keeping up with "Weinergate". Today the esteemed Congresstool admitted he lied when he said someone hacked into his Twitter account the the distributed picture of his "Gentleman's Sausage" might not even be his. By the way hackers are the digital age's gremlins. Anyway what bothers me is not his disgusting behavior - that's to be expected, after all he is a man, and a Congressman. But the lying, come on now. That's where I draw the line. He thinks he can stay in the running for Governor and ride this our but guess what pal, it's over.

March 17, 2011 (10:00 pm) I suppose at the very least I can gripe about the news. Given the disaster in Japan I'm going to stick to the really stupid stuff. Actor Michael Gough who played Alfred the butler in Tim Burton's "Batman" films has passed away at age 94. The WENN news article goes on to say the cause of death is unknown. I'm not Dr. Marmet Oz, but I'm guessing, and again I stress this is not a medical opinion, that the cause of death was old age.

Forbes.com reports the top ten advertising revenue shows in 2010, judged based on revenue per half hour to make it fair. Top of the list is American Idol at $7.11 million, followed way behind by Two and a Half Men at $2.89 million. I'm no good at math so help me here - Ex-star Charlie "Ma" Sheen had a contract worth $2 million per episode. Barring revenue from product placement and merchandising (I know you can't get away from hot TaaHM merchandise) that doesn't seem to leave a lot of money left over for production, John Cryer, etc. Just to give you an idea how bad sitcoms suck today compared with the glory years of NBC's "must see TV", Seinfeld has racked up $3 billion (yes, that's "billion") in syndication.

From the AP after much rain a portion of California's* coastal highway fell into the ocean. The story points out, and I'm not making this up, that "Engineer's on Thursday were working to figure out when they'll be able to reopen a stretch of California coastal highway that collapsed into the ocean". I'm no (real) engineer, and I do like a good round-a-about with a bunch of engineers working out a question, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess they'll be able to reopen the highway, the highway that fell into the Pacific ocean, after they rebuild the freakin' road. What kind of intense engineer speak conversation must have been going down during this meeting ("Thursday"). "Hey Joe engineer, when do you think we can reopen the road that fell in the ocean?" "Well Bob, how about we reopen it next Tuesday?" "Sounds good, but wait, the road is in the ocean." "OK Bob, how about a week from Friday?" "Sounds good Bob, but wait, the road will probably still in the ocean." "Aw damn, this is a really tough engineering question.

February 9, 2011 (11:30 pm) I can't believe it's been this long since I "blogged". Given it's almost midnight now I don't have too much in me, and although we just got back from a Frontera Fest "Best of the Fest" performance I don't have the energy to do a recap justice, even though I became part of the show at one point. So just a quick poke at the news, there's a Reuters article today "Russia posed to breach mysterious Antartic Lake". It's a bunch of blah blah blah there's a late 12,000 feet below the ice and Russia has just about finished drilling down to take a peak at what strange and wonderful creatures lie beneath. The best part of the article is a couple of really silly analogies. I suppose the purpose of an analogy is to make a complex concept easier to understand by relating it to a more common notion. You might ask yourself "how is a liquid lake buried under 12,000 feet of ice without freezing? The article explains that "experts" (love it!) say the ice cap acts as a "duvet", trapping the Earth's geothermal heat and keeping the buried lake liquid. Yes, a duvet. When "blanket" just won't do, how about a soft, flat bag filled with down or feathers. And by the way what expert did you talk to that actually referred to the ice as a duvet. The second amusing analogy is with regards to the size of the lake. Writer Alissa de Carbonnel notes that Lake Vostok (the name of the lake under the ice" is about the size of Lake Baikal in Siberia. Ah! I wondered how big a lake we're talking about, and it's the size of Lake Baikal. Of course, so now you know. Of course you don't know, that's a stupid analogy. As a service to you, the Lame Web Page reader, I'll tell you that Lake Baikal in Siberia is 12,248 square miles. And since that still doesn't help you wrap your mind around the size I'll point out 12,248 square miles it smaller than Lake Superior. Let's just say it's about the surface area of Michael Moore.

And speaking of, Michael Moore is suing the Weinsteins for "at least" $2.7 million for money he claims they owe him from the profits on his film "Fahrenheit 9/11". So it's ok to constantly bad mouth corporatations, capitalism, and profits - unless someone owes you money. Greedy profit driven capitalist pig! Ha ha ha. The best part is his lawyer says the amount is at the low end of what he might really be owed. Funny, you're claiming the Weinsteins made accounting errors resulting you being underpaid, and you yourself aren't exactly sure what you're owed. I'm giving the benefit of the doubt to the Weinsteins. Come on, they're Jewish!

My "most boring news of the day" is Keith "Scarecrow" Olbermann is back on the airways, with a prime time show and the tital of "Chief News Officer" on Current TV. Yes, Current TV. You know the one, with hit shows like, uh, well, I can't find that a Current TC program has registered a rating. I love their self loving description of their network, claiming to attract "affluent, curious, social and connected adults". Go liberal elite, go!

January 9, 2011 (9:25 pm) Lisa asked today if in light of the tragic shooting of Arizona Congresswoman Giffords if I would endorse the death penalty for the shooter, Jared Loughner. She contends we are 100% certain he is guilty. I said no, absolutely not. She asked if I think Loughner deserved a life in prison with shelter, meals, education, etc. My response is everyone exonerated after being sentenced to execution was thought to be guilty. And I want to be really clear that being against the death penalty is in no way an endorsement of how we currently treat these genuinely evil creatures when incarcerated. I would subject Loughner to the remainder of his life behind bars with no possibility of freedom, food and shelter, and that's it. No education, no recreation, no socialization. Just him and his thoughts for the rest of his life. I'll never waiver that killing is always wrong, and no matter how deplorable the act killing never becomes right.

On to happy things, we are very proud collectors of the Art of Rankin. We have three original pieces in our collection. There is nothing better than art that was created with you in mind, and these pieces are specific to us and to locations in our home. The latest piece is a celebration of the message of peace from one of its top ambassadors, John Lennon. As you know we're huge fans, and this brings together the style elements of the first Rankin, which is an amazing piece. The pallet compliments the tones of our house. The problem we have is where to hang it. It belongs in the study, which is where I listen to music and have my "contemplation chair" and a large poster of the Fab Four. Lisa however loves it so much she wants it somewhere more prominent. We're thinking about the living room on the TV wall. We'll let you know where it ends up. Disclaimer - photographing art is tricky. I seemed to have the choice between flash glare and blurry. I chose blurry because the colors are more accurate.

January 4, 2011 (10:30 pm) As you may or may not know I'm 100% against the death penalty in any circumstance. Further support for my position: An article from the AP "DNA clears Texas man who spent 30 years in prison". The article notes 41 wrongly convicted inmates have been exonerated in the State of Texas since 2001, through new DNA testing. That alone is reason enough to admit people are sometimes wrongly convicted of crimes, and therefore we can not in good conscience execute criminals. One innocent person executed (it has happened) is unacceptable.

Check out The Innocence Project for more information.

January 2, 2011 (2:45 pm) I thought as a Lame New Year's present I could make a resolution to update the Lame Web Page a little more frequently. So here we go, Lame photos from Spring 2010 (part two). Check them out in the "pictures" section on the left.

December 18, 2010 (10:30 pm) The Lame Web Page is dedicated to uncovering biased news articles masquerading as journalism. The AP is always at the top of the watch list, check out this article titled "2010's world gone wild: Quakes, floods, blizzards" with the disturbing subtitle "This was the year the earth struck back". This is a long, incoherently written assembly of biased and largely meaningless dribble, which required two crack AP "reporters" to assemble: Seth Borenstein and Julie Reed "Ring My" Bell. The article jigs and shakes all over the place but the overall message, the one which you as the gullible, dense reader are intended to have imprinted on your subconscious is "humans are abusing the earth, and the earth is fighting back". The earth doesn't have to fight back. The earth was around billions of years before us and will be around billions of years after us. The earth isn't in any danger, we are.

Back to the story, end of the first paragraph states that more people were killed this year by natural disasters than have been killed in terrorism attacks in the last 40 years combined. First - what the hell is that supposed to mean, that is a totally irrelevant statistic. Why not state more people this year were kill by natural disasters than have been President of the United States in the last 40 years, or have choked to death on a cheesburger, or have been hit on the head with baseballs? All are equally meaningless. Oh wait, let's read between the lines for the AGENDA - we spend too much money fighting terrorist and not enough fighting global warming. Got it. We could go line by line and analyze this article, but there's not much point because people don't read more than the first few sentences of any news story. Let's go a little deeper.

"And we have ourselves to blame most of the time, scientists and disaster experts say". Really? You think? The stupid article states this was the deadliest year for natural disasters in "a generation", over 250,000 dead. The next two paragraphs talk about the Haiti earthquake, where 220,000+ people tragically lost their lives. Seriously people, I doubt even the most hard core hippies would suggest environmental change has anything to do with earthquakes. The article does point out that the fault of mankind lies with "poor construction and development practices" make earthquakes more deadly than they need to be. Again, what the hell? Worldwide building construction and codes make our shelter safer than ever before, by a long short. Yes, Haiti is an impoverished country held back by tyrannical dictatorships, and many, many people live it poverty in substandard houses. The stupid article says if the same earthquake had happened in Haiti in 1985 only 80,000 people would have died. Seriously? Uh, the population density of Haiti has increased from 221 people per square mile to 330 people per square mile in that time frame Duh more people died in 2010? So the fault of mankind here is growing population? Should we launch a military attacked to thin out the Haitian population so this magnitude of loss of life can be avoided in the future? DO these two reporters have any idea what they're writing?

Never trust an article that says worst ever or more or less than without giving you the numbers. Since 1970 10,893 people have been killed and 15,114 injured in terrorist attacks. The comparison is silly. Even when the numbers support their agenda liberal biased reporters don't give you numbers. Let's look at natural disaster deaths excluding earthquakes, which leaves the types of disasters that we might have some control over. That translates to about 22,000 deaths from natural disasters this year. In the past 40 years more people have died in a year (on a apples-to-apples comparison) 11 times! Yes, over the last 40 years deaths from non-earthquake natural disasters have exceeded 22,000 in 11 of those years. Hardly worst in a generation, certainly brings into question the correlation to global warming. I'm not taking any sides here, I'm just cautioning that everyone pay close attention to what they read in the news.

December 8, 2010 (10:30 pm) Seriously update the web page! I was waiting in line at FedEx and while reviewing the offering of motivational audio books noticed the title "How to get your point across in 30 seconds or less". I nodded in appreciation of the irony that it's a 45 minute CD.

I hold blue ink in high regard. I use black ink for less important activities, and pull out the blue for special occasions like signatures. Last time I checked black and blue ink pens are the same price.

Not like I needed another reason, but I have another for never, ever buying a Chevy. Have you noticed they all seem to have this "feature" (at least the really, really large ones) where the reverse lights come on when the door lock is remotely opened? I have on many, many occasions been driving in a parking lot when I've encountered a car about to back up, stopped because who wants to get backed into by a SUV, only to see a family walk up to the vehicle and start opening the doors. The best part is only the reverse lights come on, so it looks like a car literally ready to go with the foot off the brake.

Last weekend Lisa commented she'd never have guessed she would be with me buying paintball supplies. Better get used to it!

November 23, 2010 (7:00 pm) At the very least I can keep some sort of a diary going on here.

November 10, 2010 (10:00 pm) Well people, I don't know what to call the "Blue Steel Revitalization Program" other than - Lame. I'm very slightly tempted to admit Lisa is right and Comrade Alex is my muse, noting Lame Web Page production has fallen drastically since his departure to the great wooded northwest. But that's totally gay, so I admit nothing.

Back to good old fashioned blogging. A story broke this week that Keith Olbermann of MSNBC would be suspended because he donated money to the democrat party, I suppose tainting his impartiality. Come on, how stupid does the MSNBC brass think we are? Olbermann's biased, oh my God who could have guessed. I suppose I'll have to watch Maddow to get the unbiased journalism I've come to expect from MSNBC.

Story today about Wendy's changing up their french fries. They'll be thinner, crisper, longer, and will have a hint of skin, per their CEO, "to remind people they come from potatoes". That's actually not as stupid as it sounds, I've fallen into that trap and I think a lot of the anti-fast food liberal media (serious, find one kind word about it anywhere mainstream) forget where food comes from. The example that gave me my reality check was watching the most entertaining program on TV, Food Network's "Unwrapped". They profiled a giant, and I mean giant, snack company. Specifically their potato chip production. Of course the first thing know-it-all leftists hippies point out it processed food is bad for you. So here's how the giant corporation makes it's chips, and I'm sure you can figure out why they're so evil compared to the gourmet (and expensive) chip you buy at Whole Foods. They buy potatoes from farms near the plants, so they'll be fresh. A truck full of potatoes backs up to the dock and dumps a lot, and I mean a lot (like a shipload*) of potatoes into a hopper. From there the potatoes are thoroughly washed. Then they are peeled. Then sliced. Then fried in vegetable oil. Then salted, and put in bags. Yep, that's the "processing" of the the evil "processed" foods. Three ingredients - potatoes, salt, and oil.

Back to the Wendy's story - I eat lunch once or twice a week at Wendy's. The food is fresh and tasty. We noticed step one in the Wendy's makeover, which was to take the salads we loved (mine was the Southwest Taco) and replace them with salads we hate ("gourmet" greens, taste like weeds). The last couple of times they've point out their value hamburgers now contain more meat. I'm sure next they'll tell us about their fries. They're trying to appeal to "foodies". I don't think that's a good strategy. Appeal to people who eat fast food. "Foodies" never will, so why try and risk alienating your base.

*I let spell check change "shitload" to "shipload", I like it better.

October 11, 2010 (11:45 PM) Sometimes you find inspiration in the most irritating places. Presenting Lame Web Page "Blue Steel Revitalization Program" sponsored by TARP and the letter "S" followed by "crew Comrade Alex and Jef". To kick off this Grand Re-Opening I present a picture of Lisa from our trip to Las Vegas:

Only in Las Vegas can you pay $45 for a weak coctail and not be too upset about it. And yes, it plays music. And yes by some miracle it's still in our house.

September 16, 2010 (9:45 pm) Back to the Lame Blog, and back up on the soap box. Or maybe soap dish, this might be a little rant because I'm tired. From the news: "California whooping cough: 9 dead, infections on the rise." Of course I have to start by complaining of the missing majuscule - correct me if I'm wrong but I think you follow a colon with a capital letter, and if the first character is a number you capitalize the next word "9 Dead, infections on the rise." Anyway, go figure. California, always on the cutting edge of irrational behavior and leader of the no-vacinations movement is seeing a rise in a very preventable disease. Sid the Childless is going to wagging the finger at you parents who, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, still think there's a credible link between vaccinations and autism. Face some facts - from 1993 and 2003 the number of little cupcakes diagnosed with autism increased by over 800%, and by 2006 it had leveled out (and even dropped a bit in terms of number of new cases). In 1992 the American Psychiatric Association refined the diagnostic criteria for autistic disorder making it a spectrum disorder. You can have a touch, or a lot, and in either care you click +1 on your little autistic cupcake counter. A rational person would realize by changing a disease definition to make it much broader and more inclusive the number of diagnoses would increase. Irrational people would start looking for a causal effect for the the perceived spike. Rational people realize that if 80% of Americans with skin cancer watch Oprah, watching Oprah does not increase your chance of developing skin cancer. Irrational people look for a "common thread" as proof, i.e. 99% of kids are vaccinated, therefor vaccines are responsible for the increase in autism. Andrew Wakefield publishes a now totally discredited study that claims a direct link between the MMR vaccine and the increase in autism. Given the emotional atmosphere of the surrounding the autism debate, his article was in the right place at the right time, and voila - Panic at the Disco (or Panic! At the Disco if you're old school). Study after study after study have before, during, and since found there it no link. Wakefield's initial reports were based on analysis of the gastric tracks of 12 autistic children of which 8 were sound to have the measles virus in there. See above note about Oprah. A rational person would ask how many out of 12 non-austic children would have the measles virus in their gastrointestinal track, but alas that data isn't available. If you want to look at a really large scale evaluation check out this article.

Bottom line is if you think you're all that because you want to raise your kid the "natural" way get in a time machine and go back to the middle ages when the infant mortality rate was 40 out of 1000 live births (versus less than 1 out of 1000 now), and look forward to a life expectancy of about 40 years. Then tell me if living in the modern world ain't grand. Or better yet, I'll play the irrational game and see if I can get some traction with this idea, first published on September 16, 2010 in the Lame Web Page Journal of Non-Fact Based Sid Opinions. In a recent study of let's say 100 babies (babies are all over the place) I notice 100% of them are wearing diapers. Therefor wearing diapers causes autism. Let your kids free to shit all over your house and car, and at school (don't worry about the germs, we're talking about autism for God's sake). Problem solved! Never mind babies have been wearing diapers for a hundred years and thimerisol was used in vaccines since the 1930's. I just feel sorry for the kids who died because of emotional, irrational decisions of their parents, and the future generation of children who fill fight debilitating diseases like polio, just like our Grandparents and Great-grandparents. Unless calmer heads prevail.

You think I'd done? No way! Time to jump on the Democrats. In the news "Senate passes $30 billion small business credit measure." Also in the news "Expiring tax cuts hit taxpayers at every level." What an awesome pairing, like a good oakey Chardonnay and a slightly sweet, slightly spicy noodle dish. Bush era tax cuts are set to expire, and boy howdy are the Democrats. Higher taxes = more money for us to spend on votes I mean people. Run this one by the economist part of your brain. Increase taxes on people so they have less disposable income to spend. Create a loan program for small business, whose job it is to make shit that you and I want to buy. But wait, we're not spending money because taxes are increasing. Therefor demand for that small business' goods and services is less. But wait, the Dems have a program so these small businesses have access to credit so they can buy equipment and hire people to make products that there is less demand for. Am I out of my mind? Democrats spend money for no reason - the accountable world (that includes all businesses, large and small) do not. The respond to demand. Are people really that stupid? By the way, the increase will be significant - a family of four making $50,000 per year will pay an additional $2,900.00 in taxes in 2011. I don't have an extra $3,000.00 lying around! We will have to cut back. We support a lot of small and large businesses, and they're are going to suffer. Multiply that by the entire middle class and you're taking a seriously hard hit. Get real leaders - lower taxes = growing economy = higher revenue to the treasury. Also get the hell off your "big business = evil" kick, which you promote to the people (see previous discussion about autism if you're wondering how vulnerable people can be). Big businesses are big because of one thing - the employ the most people! Duh! A prosperous small business is one that becomes big, how do you reconcile that in your little mind? Wal-Mart started with one store! Coca Cola came out in one drug store. Come on 2012, I can't wait. The part that hurt me the most is I'm socially liberal, but I can can no longer put my social values ahead of the hardships they're creating for so many people.

September 13, 2010 (8:00 pm) Note to Sid and Lisa - try Zakia's Greek Cafe on Parmer between 620 and Anderson Mill. www.zakiasgreekcuisine.com.

August 7, 2010 (12:30 pm) My I'm feeling chatty today. On the agenda: 1. Freebirds, essential for the fuel needed for the rest of the day; 2. Round Rock Outlets, Lisa needs shoes, I need a sport coat; 3. Ikea, the goal is to not spend money and stick to the "need" (coffee / tea mugs). Speaking of Ikea, new couch and rug below; 4. Specs, need to shore up the wine / liquor selection.

August 7, 2010 (10:30 am) On our list of lunch places to try - Round Rock Cafe (there's an original name), 110 S. Harris St, www.roundrockcafe.com.

July 29, 2010 (11:30 pm) I'll tell you what I don't like. I could make a Lame Web Page career out of telling you what pisses me off, but that would get old for you fast I imagine. Sometimes it's not to be helped. I was thumbing through Yahoo! news as is my end of the day custom, and I came across an article under the subsection of Yahoo! called "Shine", which of course made me thing of Geoffrey Rush jumping naked on a trampoline. After I got past that thought I clicked on the article titled "8 food trends we wish would die off". Problem 1 - since when is it good form to use all lower case letters in a title, including the first word? From what I recall when you begin a sentence with a number that isn't written out you capitalize the first letter of the first word. Anyway, I'll rename the article "Eight Food Trends We Wish Would Die Off". Take a look here, study up, then some back for thoughtful insights. Feel free to make your own contributions by screaming at your computer screen.

Let's set the mood by taking a moment to note the "We" referred to in the title is Brittny "Vanna, I'd like to buy an 'a'" Drye, a "cafe mom" blog contributor. I'll bet you a KFC Double Down Chicken Sandwich that "a" was there at birth and disappeared in her self originated attempt at differentiation. Click here if you want to check out a picture of the author.

I have to start the Article Autopsy (because trust me, there is no life here) by stealing a line from the brilliant Penn & Teller Showtime series "Bullshit" - I'm tired of skinny bitches telling me what I should and should not eat. No quotes because that's a paraphrase, unless my memory is miraculously better tonight than usual. On to the eight "trends" that "We the Brittny" would like to see retired.

#1 Comfort food: Seriously you idiot, how can you invoke the classics of comfort food in your article (meatloaf, mashed potatoes, fried chicken) and refer to this as trendy food? This food is made comfortable by the fact it's been around forever! Baked loafs of minced meat are universal, with origins back to the 5th century as evidenced by a mention in the Roman cookery collection "Apicius" (Latin for "Joy of Cooking"). We're only on the first "trend" and I'm already beginning to see a skinny white hippy chick agenda being promoted.

#2 Heart attack food combos: I'm not even sure what this means, One of the items listed is a "French Fry Encased Hot Dog" (it's very hard to figure out her capitalization criteria) that links to a page with the title "This Is Why You're Fat". Well Brittny, I'm not fat, so screw you. And hot dogs have been served with french fries since the dawn of time (well, early 15th century Germany for the hot dog, early 19th century for the French fries) so combining the two is just for efficiency, thus freeing up more time to harpoon whales and cut down old growth timber forests.

#3 Bacon on everything: I love the line "bacon doesn't make everything better; it only makes you fatter". Again, up yours I'm not fat. And totally, 100% incorrect here - bacon does make everything better.

#4 Recession-friendly: this is the slightly sensible and almost entertaining entry. As long as your regime is in command you'd better get used to this.

#5 Fried foods: More insults from the hippie with the typical liberal "I'm better than you" attitude. Read that first sentence, especially the part where she generalizes "our country" as having "porky hands". Insulting your reader is a great way to increase your popularity and get your message across. Explains why I've never seen an article from her before, and probably never will again.

#6 Mini foods: Make up your mind, one minute you're dumping on big portion foods and now mini portion foods? Are you ever happy? Of course as we read we see the reason is "I feel like people are judging me as I pile four mini burgers on my plate". Looking to others for self worth, nice. Were you worried about people judging you when you wrote this stupid article?

#7 Macarons: I don't get this one, what the hell is a “macaron”? If I ain’t eaten it, it’s not trendy food I assure you.

#8 Drinks ending in -tini: Alright, it's great to end on a happy, "we have something in common" note. If the whole article had been this fun and witty we wouldn't be having this rant. Totally agree - a martini is a martini and everything else is not. Strangley this reminds me of a trend of sorts that I've been waiting to go away for 30 years. Using "-gate" to turn any word into a scandal. Let's just suppose for a moment the building Nixon's thugs broke into wasn't the Watergate building. What if the Democrats had chosen the famous Washington DC German landmark hotel "Das Sphincterfart" for their national convention headquarters? We would have been treated to Nixon's “Sphincterfart” tapes, and soon thereafter "Billyfart" (Billy Carter), then the recent "Climatefart", Clinton's "Monicafart", Janet Jackson's "Nipplefart", you get the picture (unfortunately).

July 25, 2010 (9:30 pm) The Lame Web Page really is intended to be a diary, to be looked back upon with fondness for the memories it inspires. Well, that's certinaly not going to be the case if I never post any updates. So I'll get back into the swing of things with a simple "here's what we did today" entry. Let's go back a couple of days to the outer limits of my memory's accuracy. Friday we took off work to drive to Dallas to help my parents set up a garage sale. 40 Years in the same house tends to lead to some excess items. Friday night we had dinner with my parents and Lisa's Mom at Desperados, which is always m-m-m-good. We got up early Satuday morning, started pulling stuff out of the garage, realzing a lot of stuff still needed to be priced. My Dad and I drove around the neighborhood placing illegal signs and by the time we got back the place was swammped. We shut down about 1:30 and took a load of stuff to Goodwill. All in all a fun trip and very productive, we're glad to be back at the Lame House with a little time to relax before diving into the next hectic workweek.

July 11, 2010 (8:45 am) Way to few blog posts here! If anything just a quick "we did this today" should be feasible, after all I intend this to be a diary of life and I do enjoy looking back on the past. But given an entire month has gone by since the last post, and an awful lot has happened, I'll work on sorting it out in pictures. Here's a preview:

We had a visit from Sid's Parents. Here we are at the Iguana Grill enjoying the alive plants and full lake.

We celebrated the 4th of July with Lisa's Mom and a ton of fireworks.

More soon, I promise!

June 12, 2010 (10:45 pm) The Lame Web Page is celebrating the return of the freak show. Before we get started, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page with regards to the definition of the word “Freak”: Freak, noun – A thing or occurrence that is markedly unusual or irregular.

For a little history, let’s consider the “era” of freak shows to be the late 1800s through 1950. For example, little person Tom Thumb, exhibited by P.T. Barnum in London in the 1840s and Chang and Eng, the original Siamese twins, 1830s. By 1950, the public began demanding dignified treatment for freaks, this ending the fascination with people who were different and replacing it with sympathy. After that point many ended up on the welfare system or in institutions (ironic, huh?).

So why are we celebrating the return of the freak show? Three letters – TLC. Formerly that stood for “The Learning Channel” but no more, it’s now the Star Magazine of television. Let’s review each of their shows and determine a freak factor (“FF”) on a scale of one to five, one being the least freaky and five being the most. Then we’ll apply a second rating, the “learning” factor (“LF”) to see just how far TLC has come from its roots. One being minimal learning opportunities and five being a virtual encyclopedia.

“19 Kids and Counting” – The story of the Duggars, a wildly fertile couple exploiting their nineteen children for fame and profit. Fundamentally Christian, God has decided they will average one new kid every one and one-half years. FF4, LF2.

“The Little Couple” – Please excuse me if any of these descriptions are off, I don’t regularly watch any of these shows. This follows the lives of two little people, Bill and Jen. Jen is an extremely successful neonatologist and Bill, as far as anyone can tell, is a yahoo. The parts I’ve seen their personalities are appealing and the show interesting. FF3, LF3

“Say Yes to the Dress” – A reality show of a New York City high end wedding dress boutique where princesses go to spend tens of thousands of Daddy’s dollars on a wedding dress, shown to them by one of a bunch of the ugliest women you’re ever seen in one place, and one of the pretties guys you’ll ever find. It’s worth a watch, but don’t expect anything different from one episode to the next. FF1, LF2.

“Kate Plus Eight” – Formerly “Jon ‘Vanna, I’d like to buy an H’ and Kate Plus Eight. Another talent-less wannabe exploiting her children to try and stretch their 15 minutes to 20. FF5, LF1.

“One Big Happy Family” – I’m not sure why this is a show. Best I can tell from what I’ve seen so far is the show follows the lives of a family of which every member is really fat. I can go to Wal-Mart if I want to see fat families, and at least get some shopping done. FF2, LF2.

“Toddlers and Tiaras” – This time its parents, usually the Mothers, treating their children like dress up toys and living out some vicarious fantasy of lost youth. I think it’s child abuse. Fake teeth for toddlers? They’re not supposed to have teeth! I really do feel sorry for the kids, and I fault TLC for jumping on the exploitation band wagon. FF5 (the Moms), LF1.

“LA Ink” – Can’t help think how hot Kat Von D would be if she wasn’t covered with tattoos. This is a good example of self-made freaks, which was a staple of the freak era sideshows. FF3, LF4.

Next time we’re going to talk about why the NFL and NBA should set a minimum age for employment. It’s better for both the colleges and NFL.

May 24, 2010 (9:30pm) The frequency of Lame Web Blog updates coincides with my irritation at current events. For example this headline: "Wyoming judge blocks news stories on college trip". Doesn't matter the contents of the story or why the lawyers for Laramie County Community College President Darrel "I'm still on SNL" Hammon asked the judge to block the reporting on Mr. Hammon, Hammon, Hammon whole wheat's trip with a bunch of students to Costa Rica in 2008. Clear violation of the first amendment (to the US Constitution, in case you were wondering) and will more than likely be tossed out on appeal. Important message to the constituency of the Honorable Peter G. "what's a 'Constitution'" Arnold - when his six year term is up, he must go. How can anyone justify a judge with no regard at all for the foundation of the laws of Government of this county? Let's take a little peek at the Oath of Office he took when he became a judge: "I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support, obey and defend the constitution of the United States..." Oh snap, gotcha! Get outta there!

Onward and downward - "Dr." Andrew Wakefield, previous discredited for his false theories linking vaccines (MMR) and autism has been barred from practicing medicine in his native Britain. I feel so sorry for all of those kids with these horrible diseases like measles or mumps (even polio is on the rise) because of their parents trying to do the very best for their children denying them vaccinations because of the viral spread of this phony research. Let's play the blame game - I blame the media. Vaccines cause autism is way more sexy, and thus reported, than a study showing no link at all. That is until you have someone to hang, like Wakefield, then the studies (oh the many) to the contrary some to light. Such a shame. I think we should bring him to Texas, turn him loose in the wilds of Westlake Hills, and let Rick Perry hunt him down while (or as he might whine, "whilst") jogging. Austin connection - Wakefield had a clinic in Austin from 2004 to just recently, all while unlicensed to practice medicine. Further down we go:

"Armed tribesmen 'kidnap US couple' in Yemen. Two American tourists and their driver were kidnapped in a bid by tribesman to secure the release of two of their won. The tribe is the "Al-Hime tribe, in case you're keeping score. The story notes Yemen's powerful tribes do this all the time, 200 or so in the last decade, like it's just another day at the office. I love that "almost all" have been released unharmed. Bet they hope they don't end up on the "almost" side! Look you idiots, you wanted some adventure, huh? Europe too boring for you? See Machu Picchu? Let's take a quick look at the handy US Department of State travel advisories and see if Yemen is on there any where. It is? Surprise! Let's see - "The Department of State warns U.S. citizens of the high security threat level in Yemen due to terrorist activities. The Department recommends that American citizens defer nonessential travel to Yemen." Can't save people from their own stupidity I suppose.

What else, oh yes - "Deadly, ultra-pure heroin arrives in US". So how is that One Trillion Dollar "war on drugs" working out for ya? Let's hear it Edwin Starr- "War, huh, what is it good for, absolutely nothin!" And this from someone who has been a teetotaler when it comes to elicit substances his entire like (me, not Edwin Starr necessarily).

Surely something happy happened today, how about in the entertainment news? "Police: Slipknot bassist found dead in Iowa hotel" - doh. "Brittany Murphy's husband is found dead" - damn. "Lohan ordered to wear alcohol monitoring bracelet" - Forget it! I'm going outside to water the plants.

May 23, 2010 (11:15pm) Wow the updates are few and far between these days. Check out the pictures section for Spring Pictures from Easter, Palmetto State Park, and a few random things in between.

May 6, 2010 (10:15 pm) It's not as through there isn't anything to write about. I'm just lazy. Work all day staring a computer monitor, talking on the phone, typing. Evenings are time for Lisa, dinner, watching TV, relaxing in the study (I listen to music, Lisa plays on the tiny computer). I did manage to balance my checkbook (yikes!) and pay some bills (yikes again!). Since the last lame web page blog update we've been to Palmetto State Park; I went to San Diego; I had a birthday; Cecelia, Olivia and Marivel stayed with us; we've been to an Alamo quote-a-long (40 Year Old Virgin, with special guest Mike); we planted another flowerbed; we visited the folks. So a lot does go on and perhaps I'll be inspired to keep you up-to-date on the lame activities.

March 31, 2010 (10:30 pm) Lisa points out it's "Speedwell", not "Spreewell". Or "Sprewell" for that matter.

March 31, 2010 (9:00 pm) After a long, hard weekend of work we're very happy to be finished with our super-sized front flowerbeds. We planted Texas Mountain Laurels, Knock-Out Roses, Sage, a little Spreewell, and something I can't remember the name of. Here are some pictures (in case you couldn't figure it out).

March 20, 2010 (8:15 pm) You've probably read about the Walmart in New Jersey where someone went on the intercom and said "Attention Walmart customers: All black people, leave the store now". The incident has been traced to a 16 year old customer. Today the punk was arrested and charged with harassment and bias intimidation. The arrest has been praised by Walmart and local black leaders. This makes me sad, that we've let America become a country where you can be arrested for something you say. Freedom isn't always pretty, and sure as hell doesn't protect anyone and everyone from ever being offended for any reason. I think this arrest is a lot more dangerous than the words this idiot spoke. The local NAACP chapter president said the idiot probably didn't "realize how hurtful his comments were". Totally agree - what a terrible and hurtful thing to hear when you're shopping at a store. But illegal? Are we protected from hearing speech that offends us? If this goes anywhere I'll be suprised. I'll bet if the punk had said "All fat people, leave the store now" we wouldn't be having this one-sided blog-a-sation. In a related note North Korea executed an official because his economic policies weren't working (or something like that). How insane! Did I mention a teenager here in the U.S.A. got arrested for something he said? Think about it.

March 19, 2010 (10:30 pm) Let's take a look at today's headlines, and make smart-ass comments about the stories. Consumer Reports ranks the Honda Fit and Toyota "Look Out!!!" Prius as the two best sedan values. I mention this only because I like the new Fit, although my Honda loyalty has been tested but the poor initial quality of Mr. Sakai, while Mr. Nakimoto continues to serve after 13 years. The thing I hate about the Prius iswhat it's come to represent (to me anyway). Aside from a "HAL" type computer guided machine prone to go haywire and kill people it's become a symbol of what a weathly or celebrity "hippiecrit" can go out and buy for a quick and easy boost to their "I care about the environment" ego. Then they can pull up to their 4,000 square foot home with a "carbon footprint" the size of Rhode Island, use 50,000 gallons of clean drinking water to keep their landscaping looking pretty, and send their kids to a private Montessori school because what's good for the goose ain't good for this gander.

Most useless headline of the day - "Britney Spears sports a bizarre hat". The best part is, the hat is not all that bizarre.

Ellen and a website gave $30,000.00 to a gay teen who was caught up in a prom flap when she requested to take her same-sex date and in response the school canceled the prom. In other news, Ellen, if you're reading - I am a lesbian.

This is sad - a skydiver in Florida dies "after parachute problems". That'll pretty much get you every time.

Fess Parker, known to the world as Davy Crockett, has died. I mention this because Fess Parker is the coolest name ever.

In Baltimore, a 14 year old has been charged with robbing and killing a man for his cell phone. Then this genius used the phone, now being monitored by police, to call his girlfriend and cousin. I'm staunchly against the death penalty, but stuff like this tests my resolve.

I should catalog these entries - this would fall in the "useless academic studies" - a study by the University of Connecticut has concluded that cat-calling men give all men a bad name. It took a study to figure this out? It's human nature to make generalizations about genders (women - can't drive) and I'm sure we men are taking a general beating thanks to the likes of scumbags like Tiger Woods and Jesse James.

Obama to Democrats - Our fates are tied to health bill. Correct! Pass it and you're all out of these. Don't pass it and no one will notice. Since when has anyone in politics been punished for inaction?

March 9, 2010 (10:30 pm) Taylor Lautner's long lost brother Butt-Head. Come, to Butt-Head.

My transition from briefs to boxer briefs is 90% complete. My transition from plastic to wood clothes hangers is 85% complete.

From the news: Toyota to probe the cause of a runaway Prius, where else but in California. I heard about this on the news this morning, complete with harrowing, lawsuit preparing comments from the driver himself describing his terror. Short version is little Prius accelerator stuck, guy driving coulnd't stop the car and was flying down the freeway when a trooper helped out by telling him over his PA to use the floor pedal brake and hand brake to slow the car down, and get this - turn the car off.

Here's my problem with all of this - we're guys, we're supposed to know how to drive. This isn't the first time either. So here are some Lame Web Page top tips for stopping your out of control car. If your accelerator sticks, don't panic like a 2 year old. Hit the brakes. Put the car in neutral. You don't have to depress the brake to shift from drive to neutral, then cut the engine off after you've navigated to safe stopping place (or you'll lose your power steering). If you drive some kind of crazy high tech car like a Prius, cut the engine. I speak from experience. My 1967 Oldsmobile gas pedal rod broke loose from the valve on the carburator, and thanks to the genius design this lets the value pop fully open. I put the car in neutral, turned off of Jupiter on to a side road, and cut the engine (and listened to it diesel for 20 minutes).

February 22, 2010 (10:30pm) After a productive weekend in Dallas I had enough daylight yesterday to go for a walk in the part. It was a perfect winter's day, about 65 and sunny. The only thing missing is a little greenery, but that's just around the corner.

This is along the trail from the main trail to the Fern Bluff neighborhood. It's one of my favorites, right along a creek and really pretty in spring.

The creek that feeds the duck pond at the part of the trail where I join from our neighborhood. This area was completely empty and the pond only 1/3 full last summer. It's completely full now!

The ducks are happy to see the water again.

Tonight for dinner we had delicious beef with broccoli over rice. Made especially delicious using filet! In case you'd like to try this on your own:

Get some beef filet, 12-14 ounces. Dredge it in a mixture of 2 tbsp corn starch and 1 tbsp steak seasoning, with salt and pepper added "to taste" (I can't stand that expression). Set aside.

Cut off broccoli crowns in to individual florets and blanch for 5-10 minutes. More if you like your broccoli soft like we do.

Heat some oil in a wok, cook the beef over medium heat, stirring occasionally. I know with stir frying you're suppose to go with high heat and constant stirring, but who wants to do that. Besides, you have to make the sauce. Mix 1/4 cup soy sauce with 1 tbsp sesame oil, 1 tbsp BBQ sauce (yep), 1 tsp rice wine vinegar, and a dash or two of your favorite hot sauce. When the beef is nice and cooked add the sauce and cook a little longer. When the sauce gets gooey add the broccoli. Heat the broccoli through and serve over basmati rice. Yummy!

I used to enjoy commenting / making fun of the news in the Lame Web Page blog but lately I just haven't been into the news. Taking a quick glance at Yahoo! top stories reveals why:

"5 Things That Will Make You Happier"

The story talks about the link between genetics and happiness being true, but not a complete factor in determining happiness and you can get happy on your own by following these five simple suggestions: Be grateful, be optimistic, count your blessings, use your strengths, and commit acts of kindness. Sounds pretty good I suppose, but what are the practical suggestions to achieve "5 thing happiness"? For example, "Be Grateful" suggests you write a letter of gratitude to people who have helped you in some way. Here's the best part, you don't even have to deliver the letter. Sucks to be nice to you! I think this goes against the core of true self satisfaction, because the truth just isn't politically correct. So as a public service you my Lame Web Page readers I'll give you an even better list. Let's start by replacing "Be Grateful" with make fun of every idiot you can, in writing is fine or just blurt it out. Relish in all of the things you do so well that others do wrong. Make (in your mind is fine) everyone else seem foolish, small, and worthless. There, that'll be a nice boost for your ego and put you on the path to happiness!

For "Be optimistic" the suggestion is to visualize an ideal future such as "living with a loving and supportive partner" or "finding a job that is fulfilling", and describe the image in a journal entry. Again, our PC society prevents the truth from coming out. The visualizing an ideal future is a fine idea but come on, really? Let's be honest - visualize winning the lottery, having no consequences to your actions (go ahead, ram that idiot who cut you off), bang beautiful women left and right, and eat nothing but pizza rolls and ding-dongs without gaining a pound.

"Count your blessings" - if you don't have any I guess that thwarts the "Be optimistic" suggestion. Again, write them down. There's a lot of writing involved here, and there's no way that's on the path to happiness.

"Use your strengths" - this is a great example from the article - someone with a good sense of humor could try telling jokes to lighten up business meetings or cheer up sad friends. First, whoever the hell wrote this article - people tell jokes in business meetings as a diversion to the fact they are unprepared or just plain stupid. Second, if your friend is sad try giving them this list, if it's so great after all.

"Commit acts of kindness" - this is the only one I agree with entirely, that does make you feel good. But you can find balance - for example drive a 4 ton SUV that gets 4 mpg, live in a house 400X bigger than the one you grew up in (but was just fine at the time) with it's $400 a month electric bill, but recycle. Only if it's curbside, and you don't have to sort. Then you can feel like you're doing your part while hardly lifting a finger.

February 7, 2010 (10:30am) Greetings Lame Web Page readers! I apologize for the lack of updates, where does the time go? Not to updating the Lame Web Page apparently. We've been enjoying a lot of Frontera Fest, we've seen a lot of great stuff. Last Thursday night surprised us with great performance after great performance. They started out with "Gus! The Musical", Gus the high school student dreams of becoming an ice sculptor. Act one was performed, and it was really funny. Next was "Sea Witches & Storms", written and presented by master story teller Lorene Stilwell. A homage to the Scottish fishing tradition and the people who live it. Think Susan Boyle meets Peter Boyle and you have a woman who can pull off a hardened Scottish fisherman.

On to "Beans", a history and education about the mighty coffee bean and the addictive drink we make from it. Written and performed by Sharon Sparlin, the bill included a small bag of coffee beans just to add to the atmosphere. During the course of the performance as she was talking she fresh ground (by hand) some coffee and made it in a French press. She was really funny, and informative.

It's difficult to know what you're in for from reading the brief descriptions in the playbill, so I can't say we were looking forward to "MS - A One-Woman Show". We were ready for screaming, crying, gnashing, general depression. Not so! Very, very funny and well told story of Molly Fonseca, written and performed by Molly Fonseca, dealing with her journey from symptoms to MS diagnosis to reconciliation with getting ready for battle.

And finally, the real reason we chose last Thursday night to venture out in the rain - "The Wussy Boy Chronicles Part Five: The Wussy Boy Strikes Back", as always written and directed by Eric / Eirik "Big Poppa E" Ott (check him out at www.bigpoppae.com). Always entertaining, he started out with a poem about his beard and beards in general, then a poem about what he would teach his son about sex (if he had one), and a poem about love. The man can craft those words, you really need to check him out. Plus he's a great performer.

Brining it forward a little to yesterday, we naturally started our day at the Grapevine Market, where I have slightly adjusted my "usual" from a skinny panini (not to skinny with the fatty pancetta) to the "GVTC" (Grape Vine Tomato Cheese) which is beyond wonderful. Multi-grain bread, some kind of cheese that melts almost to a cream, and fresh sliced tomatoes. I could really go for one right now. Anyway, the wine tasting selection was all South African wines, which I haven't really gone for in the past but I'm finding more and more I really like.

First was a Mulderbosch Sauvignon Blanc, and although I'm not a big fan of white wine, this was truly refreshing. You can read the silly description on their website but I'll just say it was really clear and fresh, and didn't have any elements too over or underwhelming.

Next, we tried a Rustenberg Chardonnay, I thought this smelled and tasted a little like sausage, and for me that's a good thing. Maybe it was sage, but I really thought there was some meat in there.

Then we tried one we already knew we like, the Kanonkop Kadette, a blend of Pinotage, Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, and Cabernet Franc. It's only $15.00 a bottle and truly delicious.

Finally we tried another Rustenberg, John X Merriman, 91 points and very fruity, cherry. It's expensive at $28.99, but worth it for a special occasion.

I can't remember if I mentioned this one from a couple of weeks back, from Consorzio Tutela Valpolicella in Italy a really great red table wine that I can't remember the winery. Darn it! I think we have a bottle, I'll update you on that next time.

This ticks me off, I received in the mail from AT&T an update to our service agreement that says they, or their affiliates can call us to offer products and services. No option to decline. I'm almost mad enough to write them a letter, almost. Seems a clear violation of the "do not call" list that's supposed to prevent unwanted solicitation calls. I may write a letter. I'll let you know. I would e-mail but their website is so awful I doubt I can figure out how.

January 24, 2010 (6:00 pm) Lisa's been very mean to me today - first she made me work four hours on web stuff for her work, then she made me get on Facebook's "Cafe World", where I've been wasting time every since.

Speaking of cafes, I made the most delicious chicken ever in the slow cooker last week. So easy, a caveman could do it. Cut eveything to to nice big chunks when slow cooking.

Cut up one sweet yellow onion and spread it in the bottom of the cooker.

Prepare three skinless, boneless chicken breast. To do it the Sid way, cut away everything that doesn't look like chicken. Anything funny looking, cut it off. I end up with about half of what comes out of the package. Arrange chicken on top of the onions.

Chop 1 tbsp. of fresh rosemary and sprinkle on the chicken, along with some salt and pepper.

Dump on can of diced tomatoes on top of the chicken.

Peel one large russet potato and chop in to big pieces, mix with one bag of baby carrots, also halved, and place on top. Set on low for 8-10 hours. Get ready for some good chicken!

Just a couple of recent pictures to share. Dad demonstrates people who have not yet shrunk (not much anyway) would hit their hears on a lot of things in assisted-living:

And this was just a delicious dinner, so good I had to take a picture. Of course Lame Web Page readers will point out I clearly took the picture before I ate the meal, but I could just tell it would be good. Sid's famous salmon three ways with rice and beans and steamed broccoli. And a nice chilled glass of Italian Bruschetta:

January 10, 2010 (12:45 pm) Last week we tried a nice red at the GVM, a Tempranillo from Spain's Cosme Palacio vinyard. I can't remember exactly what I liked about it, but I did write "yum" on the line up card. I am a big fan of Tempranillo.

January 2, 2010 (6:00 pm) Happy New Year! In celebration of one of my New Year's resolutions (more Lame Web Page updates) I've posted pictures from our trip to Chicago. In the spirit of providing a full service information source to our loyal Lame Web Page readers (Mom) here are some links and information pertinent to the Chicago pictures:

The Art Institute of Chicago: Main page, Thorne Miniature Rooms, Caravaggio's The Supper at Emmaus (the primary reason we went to Chicago), Arts and Crafts from Britain to Chicago (thought of Mike M. and Rankin).

Around Chicago: Palmer House Hilton, Harry Caray's Restaurant, The Field Museum, The Berghoff Restaurant, The Italian Village Restaurant, Gino's Pizza, Millennium Park.

Finally, from cooks.com, Harry Caray's Chicken Vesuvio recipe. The beauty is in the simplicity:

2 lg. potatoes peeled and quartered Then cut into wide strips
2 tbsp. olive oil
5 whole cloves garlic
1 (3 lb.) broiler fryer chicken cut up
1 tsp. dried oregano
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1 c. dry white wine

In 12 inch ovenproof skillet, heat oil and whole garlic over medium high heat 4 to 5 minutes till garlic is golden. Remove from skillet. Add potato strips and cook 15 minutes or until golden, turning often. Remove and pat dry. Add chicken, skin side down, to hot oil. Brown slowly over medium heat, about 10 minutes. turn chicken skin side up and season with oregano, garlic powder, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Add wine to skillet and return potatoes and garlic to skillet. Place skillet in 400 degree oven and bake, uncovered, 25 minutes or until chicken is done, basting last 10 minutes with pan juices. Serve the baked chicken with juice and potatoes. makes 4 servings. Note: If you don't have an ovenproof skillet, prepare recipe on range top in regular skillet then transfer to 13x9 baking dish.

December 10, 2009 (8:10 pm) I almost have to ask myself what's the point of having a Lame Web Page if I never update. I'll tell you the point, I like it! I saw a disturbing headline in the news today "Scientists find way to block fearful memories". As I read on I was please to find that's it's not just scientists who will be able to block fearful memories, because that sure would suck. Here's the gist of the study- get yourself a "subject" (preferably a college student) and put him in a chair with some electrodes attached to his naughty bits. Show the subject a card with a blue square on it, and give him a good shock. In a few minutes, show him another card with a blue square on it, and this time do not shock him. Do this a few times, without shocking him, and he will soon no longer be fearful of the blue square. Tell me this - are you as in awe as I am that science pursues studies such as this when they could be concentrating on renewable energy or curing cancer? I don't think this is meaningful because I'm sure (I like to think of myself as a scientist of sorts) this would work with a positive memory. For example, show the subject a blue square and give him a beer. Mmm, happy. Then show him the square repeatedly and do not give him a beer. After a while happy memory is gone and the student is ready to strike you and steal your beer if he sees another blue square. And besides, didn't this study already take place in "Ghostbusters"? I figured I'd try this myself before I'm through dissing the scientific value. I have fearful memories when I hear the chorus of the Men at Work song "Be Good, Johnny". Not because of any bad associate, I just really hate that song. So I exposed myself to it over and over (thanks iTunes) and even tried to think happy thoughts I and still really, really hate that song. Science busted!

In other news, Meredith "Mrs. Keaton" Baxter came out of the closet this week and apparently directly into the bright sunlight - have you seen her skin lately?

Jon Gosselin continues to be a complete and total tool, like hosting a Las Vegas pool party with bikini-clad women. TLC sued because they say his contact with them prevents unauthorized media promotions. Normally I'm against excessive and silly lawsuits but in this case I hope they make him as miserable as possible. Gosselin is about have a hair plug above Piven in my book.

A Florida woman is accused of hitting her boyfriend with a raw steak. She denies this, however she does admit she slapped him when he refused a slice of bread because he wanted a bread roll, "so he could learn". I love that America is still home to such salt-of-the-earth simplicity.

When is Katy Couric coming out of the closet? Have you seen her hairdo lately?

California is getting its first openly gay speaker, John Perez. I love how California, land of equality, still gets so orgasmic every time a gay person does good! We need to see past race and sexual orientation and focus on the person, until someone with at least three disadvantageous labels does something impressive, then let's all skip around the maypole together and make sure we all acknowledge everything we're not suppose acknowledge as difference. This guy's three labels are: Openly gay, Latino, and Democrat.

Hertz is upgrading its facilities and unveiling a new logo, I assume in an attempt to improve business (why else do it). First up Atlanta, Chicago, Frankfurt, and Shanghai. Hey Hertz, do you want my business? First, stop being so much more expensive than every other rental car company. Second, understand that I don't drive around in your facility, I drive the car, so work on making them better.

I love that the U.S. extradited accused Nazi war criminal John Demjanjuk to Germany to face trial. He's a frail, miserable old man. Some deserve peace in their twilight years, I'm glad his hell gets a jump start.

The City of Berkeley mailed coat hangers to 20 members of Congress in protest of an antiabortion amendment in the house version of the Federal health care "kill" bill. A city is a place where a bunch of people live. How did a city manage to find coat hangers, much less mail them? I assume there were people involved, but reading the story you can't be sure.

Sarah Palin's father disputes her reasons for leaving the University of Hawaii after one semester (too hot!) saying she left because all of the minorities made her uncomfortable. I'm amazed that the loser of an election can command so much attention.

Tiger Woods is really pissing me off. What are we up to now, 11 hoes? You're making it hard on us men by creating an aura of mistrust. We tend to look to celebrities and make generalizations by finding it hard to focus on the study group (so to speak) as a specialized subset that can not represent society as a whole. As Paul Newman said, "why go out for hamburger when you have steak at home". Tiger had a freakin' filet mignon and look at the some of the burgers he was running around with. Bozo.

t.u. quarterback Colt "Opie" McCoy won 600,000 awards today. Of course the only one anyone remembers is the Heisman, and it's only good so we can look back in three years and ask "whatever happened to Colt McCoy? He was a Heisman winner after all". After the end of the Nebraska game I think he's killed his chance at the big one. We shall see.

Today Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie, a.k.a. Flight of the Conchords announced there will be no third season of their hit HBO show. Time for my angry dance.

For every John Perez taking a step forward for the gay community, there's an Adam Lambert taking a step back. Startling, there's a news story from people.com noting that Lambert "has no idea what he's doing over the holiday season". Seriously, that's the story. That's it. Adam Lambert has no holiday plans.

More from people.com, James Van Duh Beak was seen out with his new girlfriend, possibly his first since splitting with his wife of six years. Cue crickets.

Angelina Jolie is criticizing the Mmm mmm mmm mmm Obama administration for note doing enough to help the situation in Sudan.

Time for bed zzzzz.

November 12, 2009 (9:00 pm) Remind me to tell you the story of picking up Erin and Sofia at the airport yesterday morning. In the meantime, let's see what's happening today in the news! Bill Gates and Warren Buffet hosted a Q&A session with Columbia business School Students, brought to you by CNBC. Buffet noted "The financial panic is behind us" and "don't pass on something that's attractive today" by which I assume he meant an attractive investment. Get ready to watch the stockmarket take a leap tomorrow and then ask yourself if a "free market economy" is really so free when one guy can say a few words and influence it dramatically.

I get the most amusement from stories our of the San Francisco Bay area. "Deadly mushrooms put Lodi family in hospital". Written by Justin Berton, I attempted to do a little research to see if he's British, and it doesn't seem he is but I can't confirm. Here in the U.S. of A., where we speak American English, we say "the" hospital. It's just how we do it. Probably wouldn't bother me if the article weren't so stupid. Here's the rub - three members of a family ate some "death cap" mushrooms and are in intensive care as a result. Here's the quote that gets me - "presenting a particular risk to immigrants who mistake them for harmless varieties found in their native countries". OK, I'm expecting a little follow-up, maybe a study showing immigrants do indeed eat more death-cap mushrooms than indigenous Northern Californians, but the next sentence is "Even experienced mushroom gatherers have been fooled into believing death caps to be edible". OK so let me get this straight - mushroom experts can be fooled into eating these things implying the average everyday wild mushroom gather certainly can be fools, and people in other countries don't know that many, many varieties of mushrooms are poisonous, no matter where you are. And yes, I did verify mushrooms grow on every continent. So Mr. Berton seems to have just pulled this "risk to immigrants" tidbit out of his ass, and we trust what we see in writing. Point of the story, don't believe anything without verifiable evidence. Then we get to the best part - In 2008 one person died after eating a death cap mushroom. One person! Maybe the one person was an immigrant and that's why Mr. Berton things immigrants are more at risk. But wait, there's more! Mr. Burton goes on to write that death caps are rare in most of North America. OK, so immigrants are more at risk because the death caps allegedly (remember nothing to back this up) resemble mushrooms found in other counties (with high rates of immigration to the US), yet they're rare. I have a strong feeling Lisa will have stopped reading by now.

Apparently there's a website on which you can upload a photo and a bio and pre-qualified "beautiful people" will decide if you're beautiful or not. Check out www.beautifulpeople.com. According to their approval rating the County with the most often rejected submissions and thus the overall ugliest people is - Great Britain! Of course Great Britain isn't a Country but oh well. My only response to this article is "duh".

A Michigan woman threatened her husband with a knife because he tossed out her bottle of vodka while she slept. Police came and arrested her, and she was found to have a blood alcohol level of 0.23%. Smashed!

"NC school officials nix cash-for-grades fundraiser". I first heard about this stroke of genius on the radio this morning. In an effort to raise funds a North Carolina middle school offered to add 20 points to a test in exchange for a $20.00 donation. It gets better. Genius principle Susie* "and the Banchees" Shepard indicated that the extra points on two tests could not make s difference in a final grade. What a message to send to your students! 20 points here or there doesn't make a difference? "School District Administrators" nixed the program and the money will be returned. That last part scares me, you mean parents actually coughed up some bucks for this scheme? Only in North Carolina I suppose.

A guy in Italy has some up with a motion activated holy water dispenser for churches, to prevent the spread of disease through the unsanitary practice of dipping hands in communal holy water. This from the faith that share one cup (or "goblet") to drink some wine?

The tallest man in the world unveiled the largest cookie ever baked. Guess you have to go where the work is, and in this case it's in Norway.

A man in rural East Tennessee was found passed out in a ditch. I love how some stories can paint a picture in the mind. This one couldn't be more clear, just enjoy the details: His name is Ricky Butler; he passed out in a ditch on the side of the road; he had a loaded rifle across his chest; he was wearing overalls (I'm picturing this with no undershirt); he had a jar (yes, a jar) of moonshine in the bib of the overalls and a couple of hand-rolled joints. I am so proud to be an America!

Palin notes in her new book that McCain aides kept her "bottled up" during the campaign. Bet those aides wish the lid on the bottle had been tighter!

The Fed had banned ATM card overdraft fees unless you're elected to opt-in to an overdraft protection service. This really pisses me off. Why you ask? Doesn't it protect consumers you ask? Here's the deal - banks collect 25 to 38 billion (yes, billion) dollars a year from overdraft fees. The fed puts a ban on this practice that will affect a chunk of the revenue being made by the evil, greedy companies that you hippies so fear. So the banks are going lower their profit goals and shareholder value and go "oh well", right? Wrong - they're going to make it up some other way, with some other fee. The reason this pisses me off is I don't overdraft my bank account because I pay attention to what's in it, and I can manage the tricky addition and subtraction required. I would venture to say just about anyone can manage this, and if you can't you probably shouldn't have a checking account. So some fee will pop up that might impact me, and again I am having to pay more, take more money out of my hard earned paycheck, so cover the actions of federally protected idiots. I've already had to watch my hard earned money subsidize new cars for you idiots, and I've had to pony up a TON of money so you can get a tax break to buy a new house, even though I bought a house two years ago with no incentive. Do you think people will take that extra money and go out and spend it (thus stimulating the economy)? No - they'll just buy more house. We get blind sided by bad load debt because of the liberal notion that everyone has a right to own a home whether they can afford it or not, and we've back to tax credits to pay for more idiots to get into loans. I guess I shouldn't be too upset, it's your kids and grandkids who will be paying for all of this, not mine.

That's all folks!

*Don't correct me, I know its "Suxi"

November 8, 2009 (3:00 pm) Happy Sunday everyone! I had an interesting experience in the men's room recently. I walked in to find a gentleman washing his hands, and washing them very thoroughly. I walked over to take my place at the unrinal, and he popped up next to me. After we were finished with business we proceed to the sinks where he washed his hands again, with much gusto. I think a guy who washes his hands before he pees has a very high opinion of his penis.

October 28, 2009 (12:10 am) I've been referring new Facebook friends to the Lame Web Page, so I suppose I better come up with some updates. But not tonight, as you can see it's late.

October 9, 2009 (9:09 pm) Parent's train delayed by four hours, so there's a little time to spend reviewing today's news. From the UK a story that porn master Anna Span became the first to challenge the British Board of Film Classification over a ban of any porn that displays the mysterious and allusive female ejaculation. Apparently the BBoFC has determined it does not exist, and any porn that appears to depict it is really just urine. Ms. Span presented scientific research and documentation indicating "FE" does really exist and was able to have her latest work approved! The entire time I was reading this extensive article I kept wondering why you can't show a women peeing in porn in the UK? I thought that was one of the major porn genres.

One of the funny things about Yahoo is it seems eternally convinced I live in San Francisco. No matter how many times I tell it Austin, it eventually redirects me to S.F. news. So in SF news - A National Task Force dubbed the Task Force on College Gambling Policies says in a report that Colleges and Universities should do more to curb problem gambling. Based on what I wonder? The article points out that nearly half of college students surveyed reported gambling in the past year. Doesn't seem to indicate that any one of them has a problem? Maybe they should have ask if they've gambled in the last week, or more than 1000 times a year, or right now, or anything more specific. Put this on my list of things that my tax dollars pay for that really pisses me off - a National Task Force on College Gambling Policies.

More Bay Area News - teachers who refuse to take language training in order to work in classes that include students who are not fluent in English can be fired. Which in California is highly likely because 20% of school children do not speak fluent English. And without immersion they never will, but let's not go there. I can't support the teachers on this one, you don't have a right to your job, and if a policy is put in place that requires training you have to do it or you're outta there. Welcome to the real world! I'm sure the Union will get involved in this fight.

In other news, A national survey from 2007 has demonstrated High School students do not eat enough fruits and veggies. It took the Centers for Disease Control two years to analyze a survey to figure that out? Give me an hour in a school lunchroom with a notepad and I could have come to the same conclusion.

In more Bay Area News - U.C. Berkeley "Breathed" is going to pay a consultant three million dollars to help the school find new ways to save money. Joke's on you! A savvy professor noted the same firm was contracted in 1997 for the same service and recommended a merger of UCSF and Stanford University hospital that turned our to be a financial disaster.

There is a boring story about a Realtor in Marin "up yours" County who was found guilty of embezzling nearly $1.4 million dollars from six people, including several elderly people. First funny I see is mentioning the number of victims as six and throwing in the caveat that "several" were elderly. Really when we're talking six people can't you just tell us how many were elderly? That of course make it an even more heinous offense, because of course the elderly are so much more gullible that the rest of the population, which I guess makes the non-elderly victims just plain stupid. The story goes on to note the Realtor worked out a plea "that allowed him to avoid prison. Instead, Menon will service his time in jail and could be released from jail in six months". Between this guy and Berkeley should we conclude Californians are really gullible? Firms goes to Berkeley and says for a cool $3 million I can tell you how to save money ("work from home! Be your own boss!) and they say "go for it", and a Realtor is told if he signs on the guilty line he won't go to prison, just jail. And he says "gimme a pen". Weird world.

In more exciting Bay Area news there is a radio station (KNGY "Energy" 92.7 FM) that became a big hit by catering to gays, lesbians (who I guess are different from "gays") and anyone who enjoys nonstop dance music, which let's face it would be gays and lesbians. Anyway it was so successful the owner decided to sell the station to the big evil corporation "Golden Gate Broadcasting". As one of the DJs put it "The station made money, it just had huge debts over its head". I guess it's more of that California thinking - everything was rosy because we made lots of money. Oh yeah, we spent a hell of a lot more than we made, but we made a ton of money. Anyway first think the evil corporation did was switch to a top 40 format, because I guess they just weren't interested in making money. Well this made people mad, because now where could you go to get constant dance music, since there's no such thing as an iPod and even if there were nobody would have one, especially the people in the area where the damn thing was invented. This went all the way to the SF "Board of Supervisors", who with no crime and a balanced budget (see article "SF to face $750 million budget deficit in 2011") and no crime (see article "Actor playing thug brutally beaten on SF bus") thank goodness they had time to weigh in on this important matter. Bevan Duffy (I guess that's someone on the board, or a Simpson's character) passed a resolution encouraging the new ownership to maintain the all-dance format.

Two people died and more than a dozen became ill after a sweat lodge ritual at a Sedona Arizona resort. The ritual is based on a Native American practice designed to cleanse toxins from the body. At least they're toxin free!

And that's enough of that.

October 8, 2009 (11:45 pm) Back from San Diego! Tonight Lisa and I hit the cleaning hard in celebration of my parent's impending visit tomorrow. I'm amazed at how we can clean the whole house from disaster to pristine in one evening, when we are under the gun. From last week's tasting at the Grapevine Market here are some selections from Dry Comal Creek Vineyards and Winery, located just West of New Braunfels. First is a very impressive and very dry French Colombard white. According to the wine dude this is the second most popular grape grown in California (behind Chardonnay), yet we'd never heard of it! The grape is inherently sweet, however they've fermented it down to zero sugars to give it a totally dry but still crisp taste. This would be really good with spicy food. The second is a most traditional French Colombard. It's also worth mentioning this is the grape traditionally used to make Cognac. The "Demi-Sweet" has about 5% sugar remaining and was very refreshing. Next is the Comal Red IX, heavy flavor like Port and sweeter than you would expect. According to their website it's modeled after Hungarian wine, which is inevitably sweet. For those non-sweet wine folks (Mike) don't be afraid to give this a try, the sweetness is subtle and the flavor bold. Moving on to a tasty wine made with a 100% native Texas grape the Black Spanish is a very dry red with low tannins, subtle flavor, and a great smell (no, I'm not ever going to refer to the way a wine smells as "the nose"). Damn good, I highly recommend to Mike because he can't stand wines that go down like gasoline, and this is the polar opposite. Finally, the White / Black Spanish Blush. I think I may be warming up to blushes, I didn't like the strange mid-world they inhabit but they're starting to come into their own with me. This is also a very drinkable wine. That's how I would describe Dry Comal Creek, "drinkable".

Finally, we tried some selections from Cap Rock located in the Texas high plains near Amarillo (or Lubbock, who cares really). I've had their wines and I'm not a fan, but the Cabernet Sauvignon was above average (don't get the reserve) as was the Palo Duro Canyon Red, which is a Cab / Merlot blend.

September 29, 2009 (11:00 pm) Well, the air conditioned is blowing cool, delicious air again - and it looks like we'll need it for a while longer. The compressor threw a johnson rod. Moving on to today's headlines: Borders to give free wi-fi in stores in an attempt to lure back customers. Good thinking, you're only about two years behind, well, every other book store, coffee shop, sandwich place, etc. I didn't know until reading about Mohairmar Gaddafi's rambling speech in front of the UN Council that he is a long time advocate of abolishing Switzerland. As silly as that is, you have to admit it would be missed by few.

September 27, 2009 (11:45 pm) Wow, could I be more delinquent in posting a Lame Blog! Let's start by wishing a super-happy fun time big Happy Birthday to papa-to-be Cliff. Happy Birthday Cliff! Hope you had some serious fun today.

On to the news - I'm tired, it's late, so I'll give you the abbreviated version: Thursday Beatles Sing-a-long at the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz, much much much fun; Saturday - lunch at the Grapevine market, thrilled to be joined by Mike, Meagan, and Mike's parents and sister. We both exercised a bunch, ate at Thai Kitchen on the Drag, then saw an outstanding production of the Pinter play "The Collection" at the Hyde Park Theater. Awesome set, great acting, and since it's Pinter it's definitely Pinteresque, you'll love the journey even though you might end up right where you started. Then we went for a little walk around campus. Today we made the mistake of putting "Lego Star Wars" in the Wii. Mike loaned it to us, saying it was addictive wonderful fun. We didn't exactly jump at the chance to play because it looks so, well, stupid. 7 hours and cramped fingers later, we stand corrected. We went to Musashino anyway, despite failing our Facebook challenge, and afterwards experienced our first ever online Rock Band experience, joining Ella and Sophia as they tore up the singing and the drums. I think Mike and Erin played a little also. That was so much fun, we can't wait to do it again! And finally, our freakin' air conditioner went out. Less than three years old, and pttthhhh. Can't wait to find out how much this will cost, two weeks after a new water heater. Unit has a 5 year warranty, so hopefully it's just the labor.

September 18, 2009 (8:30 am) Happy Birthday Juliet! As a celebration of the occasion I offer a few interesting wine suggestions from recent Grapevine Market wine tastings. A great budget red is the Louis Jadot Beaujolais. Also look for a nice Cabernet from Windmill. A great South American Malbec is Zolo from Argentina.

September 17, 2009 (11:30 pm) Sleepy time, but first I'm proud to announce Mr. Nakimoto set a new Nakimoto record for gas mileage on our return trip from Dallas last weekend - 36.3 mpg! Not to shabby for a 12 year old car. In other news San Francisco Mayor Gavin "MacLeod" Newsome thinks you're too stupid to figure out what you should and should not put in your very own body, so he's proposing a tax on stores that sell soda. A student at Johns Hopkins University confronted an intruder hiding behind his home with a samurai sword. When he called for his friends to call the police the intruder lundged at him, at which time with one sweet swipe of the sword he delivered a fatal wound to the intruder. The intruder, Donald D. (I wonder if the middle "D" is also for "Donald") Rice had a rap sheet a mile long of burglary arrests and was released from jail just two days before the incident. Here's what shocks me. Police are reviewing to see if charges will be filed. Let's review some key parts of the story - Intruder, behind his home, rap sheet - don't we still have a right to defend ourselves in this Country? I'm sorry D. Rice is now pushing up daisies, and my heart goes out to his sister Peggy "my brother didn't deserve to die and the student should be charged". If your bro hadn't been trespassing, he'd still be alive. Personal responsibility. A less for both Donald Rice and Gavin Newsome.

We are now a little poorer, but rich in hot (and thankfully now contained) water thanks to a new high efficiency gas water heater. Oh the joys of home ownership. Now I'm off for a jimdunlap.net blog update, it's a good one, so check it out.

September 13, 2009 (!0:00 pm) A very special happy first anniversary to Alex and Cliff, my how the last year has flown by!

September 6, 2009 (10:00 pm) A fine day filled with the usual (Grapevine Market, errands) and the relaxing (U.S. Open Tennis). Battling a Summer cold, I'm not to much int he way of updates. I've been itching to update the main Lame Web Page "navigation console" to the left there, but I really, really like it. Perhaps I'll update the pictures in the picturnators. I have to give a birthday shout-out to Jenny, five days late, because how can I possible start wishing her happy birthday on her actual birthday now, after all these years? The present will be really late.

September 3, 2009 (9:15pm) Just got back from delicious Japanese food, Lisa has some work related computer stuff for us to do then I'll persuade her to play Rock Bank even though she thinks she's too tired. Only one more week until Beatles Rock Band arrives!

August 28, 2009 (9:54 pm) August continues to set record after record, staring with Lisa's birthday, then Chalres, and now a super happy fun time extreme birthday party Lame Web Pag shout out to Sofia, who turns the big "one" today. Happy birthday Sofia, we can't wait to see you in February!

August 23, 2009 (9:00 am) A very big time happy happy happy Birthday to Lame Web Page Buddy Lee Lisa! The big 3-7, can you believe it! We're looking for to sharing stories and pictures soon.

August 16, 2009 (5:30 pm) What's this, a new pictures post? Check out part one of the new series "Cutaway Cove Transformed". We open with high drama, the re-construction of the upstairs hall bathroom after Lisa destroyed it with her feet of fury. Check it out in the "Lame Pictures" section to the left.

August 16, 2009 (4:15 pm) Random thoughts, because that's about all I can muster on a hot, lazy Sunday. I had a great bike ride yesterday, all the way to the end of the Brushy Creek trail at the YMCA at old Hwy. 183. Friday Lisa and I went to the Alamo Drafthouse Ritz for the "80s One Hit Wonders Sing-A-Long". We sang and danced to such favorites as "Safety Dance", "Video Killed the Radio Star", "Come on Eileen", and "Mickey". I'm unhappy with the quality of desserts at most restaurants. For example at the Alamo I ordered a cupcake. Should be simple enough, and of course cupcakes are all the rage these days. This was a "rainbow" cupcake, consisting brightly colored layer upon layer of stale, dry cupcake. Perhaps the intense coloring disrupted the taste of the cake, much like color generally makes T-shirts less comfortable. I can tell by feel the difference between white and dyed T-shirts, and I'm more comfortable in white. There are a couple of exceptions, a brown shirt with a blue-jeans logo on it (can't recall where it came from) and two official Juicebox Animation shirts that are among my most comfortable in spite of being bright red and black. Back to deserts, the cupcake was a dud, as was the last desert I had at the Alamo - desert egg rolls. Apples, cinnamon, and ginger, stuffed into a pasty and fried into a nice little roll. Terrible, chewy with little flavor. The Alamo used to have a stellar desert, a single apple tart with plump, clean apples (yes clean, I can't stand bits of weirdness in apple dishes) and a crunchy shortbread crust, served hot with ice cream. I must have been the only taker, it has long since disappeared off the menu. Their molten chocolate cake is good, as far as molten chocolate things go, but that isn't a favorite desert of mine. Another good restaurant with terrible desert is Yama AKA Yamada Japanese, right up the street from us. I've had tiramasu, which was possibly the worst thing I've ever eaten. For goodness sakes it was still frozen, I felt like a victim of the oldest baker's grift in the book - the Entenmann's Shim-Sham. Their carrot cake is gritty with icing not sweet enough to be anything but cheesy. Come on people, give me some good sweets.

Speaking of food, Bon Appetit magazine named the top ten new restaurants in America, and "Olivia" in Austin made the cut. Located in "way-too-damn trendy but thank you for paying so much for our condo" South Austin, it's menu features words like "escargot", "lamb's tongue", and "foie gras", which means we'll never go near the place. Although they do have a few items I would love - Heirloom Tomato Caprese, when make with good ripe tomatoes and great mozzarella is my favorite dish on the planet; Pan-Seared Gulf Red Snapper, which is my favorite treat from the Gulf; Wild Mushroom Risotto, bringing together two of my favorites. Maybe I could go with blinders on so I don't have to look at Braised Veal Tongue and Braised Rabbit. It actually has mixed online reviews, but the detractors are no doubt too pedestrian to appreciate such fine cuisine. I'm a little bothered by the wine list. The menu has a statement that Olivia is committed to supporting local farms, ranchers, etc. The extensive wine list contains not a single Texas wine. In fact, I don't see a single domestic wine on there.

Since we're on the subject, there's a new restaurant in our lives that we would go to every night if we had huge, cumbersome piles of extra money lying around - Musashino Sushi Dokoro. Yes, Sushi, and yes, Lisa loves it. We owe a big thanks to Trent and Suzanne for introducing us to the place. We loved it, but there have been plenty of dining experiences that were blazing hot love affairs that first time, followed up with the realization that he will always leave the toilet lid up and really prefers to hang with his buddies that with you, and she's wearing a support bra for a very good reason (Roaring Fork). So we decided to hand over judgment to Official Lame Web Page Sushi and Outdoor Sports Expert Mike. This is a small place, with a small sushi bar packed with four chefs ready to roll up beautiful and tasty creations. Having trouble finding it? Look for the gigantic red neon "Chinatown" sign on Southbound Loop 1 between Steck and Far West, Musashino is pretty much in the basement. We started with Avocado Kamas, half of an avocado stuffed with shrimp, crab, and spicy sauce. We had the obligatory miso soup, then onto the "cooked" portion of the menu, which is really handy for wussie sushi fans like me and Lisa. We then ordered a lobster tempura roll, an asparagus roll, and two pieces of snow crab sushi. We washed down our choices with sweet plum wine. Mike was very gracious in not making fun of us. He ordered the chef's selection, a random assortment of stuff we can't pronounce. His verdict is Musashino is one of the best places in Austin, right up there with Mikado Ryotei (which we have not tried). Mike's pick for sushi in Texas is Oishi in Lewisville, of all places. On our list of things to try.

Back to random thoughts, I encountered one of the dumbest flyer distribution methods ever. I came home one day from work and a small plastic bag was crumpled at the end of the drive way, and it seemed to contain a piece of paper and rocks. So I threw it away, it clearly was a piece of trash. I mentioned it to Lisa and she said that morning she saw two guys throwing them our a car window into people's driveways. When I went for a walk that night I did notice they were all over the place. Granted sticking a flyer in the front door is not innovative, but at least they get read (if not glanced at) on their way to the recycle bin. Because you expect it to be a flyer. A dirty bag of rocks in the driveway, not so much.

When we woke up this morning we promised a productive but relaxing day, cleaning up the house, making a nice dinner, exercising. Instead, we got up and during tea time watched Strikeforce MMA, yesterday's match between Gina Carino and Cris "Cyborg" Santos. Yes, this is how bad we've become. We subscribed to Showtime to watch one MMA match. The other fights were decent, and the main event lived up to the hype, but unfortunately for Carino fans lived up to the expectation that Cyborg would be too much to fast for the previously undefeated Carino. Somehow we managed to kill the entire afternoon, Lisa was on Lisa's Very Tiny Computer watching TV shows streamed from Netflix, and I worked for hours on a photoshop alerted picture of me inserted in the movie posted for "The Hangover", to make sure I'm prepared in case the mood to write a movie review strikes. Then to cap off the deviation from plan we bought tickets to "(500) Days of Summer" at the Alamo South Lamar, which means we'll get home around 10 tonight. I suppose that's what weekends are for. I should point out that Lisa is currently on the treadmill, because nothing holds her back from her exercise.

August 14, 2009 (10:30 pm) I can't believe official Lame Web Page nieces are 3 and 1 already. They're growing up too fast, must go to Hawaii soon and be part of the fun. Happy Birthday Ella and (early a bit) Sofia!

August 5, 2009 (10:45 pm) I did not do a damn thing this evening, and frankly it was pretty nice. Just wanted to take a moment before bedtime to wish a very happy birthday to official Lame Web Page Navy LCDR Mike. Hope you, Erin, and the most wonderful neices in the world Ella and Sofia have had a great time celebrating!

August 3, 2009 (6:30 pm) I'm certainly spending more time on Facebook than the Lame Web Page these days, but my heart still belongs here so it deserves my attention. Last Thursday I tested my knees for the first time with a rousing game of tennis (and a 1 1/2 mile walk each way to the tennis courts) and they held up pretty well. Later that evening we went to the Alamo Drafthouse Downtown (greatest movie theater on earth, no matter what you may think) for the Queen sing-a-long. Lots of tight man-unitards and mustaches, compliments of some apartment locator company that sponsored the evening. Here's Lisa doing her very best Freddie Mercury:

Check out the horror that is the dead lame yard. This past July goes on the record books as the hottest month on record for Austin. Not, hottest July, hottest month (and August is usually hotter). Yikes!

July 23, 2009 (9:30 pm) Believe it or not, I posted a new Top Ten list, if you can find it.

July 21, 2009 (9:00 pm) Wow I need to get on the ball with this thing. Until then, a survey!

Thanks to Cynthia for bringing the survey back in style.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:10. Anything after 7:00 is referred to by me and Lisa and "bonus sleep"

2. How do you like your steak? Crispy

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Harry Potter as the World Turns

4. What is your favorite TV show? Pitchmen, Top Gear, Deadliest Catch, Mythbusters, Colbert Report

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? New Zealand, South Island

6. What did you have for breakfast? Kashi granola bar of some sort

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Love the Tex-Mex, and wussy sushi

8. What foods do you dislike? Mangos, anything that still has a head or skeleton

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Yamada, Chuy's, Shady Grove, Vinnies (ok, places)

10. Favorite dressing? Newman's Own Balsamic Vinaigrette - for me there is no other

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Mr. Nakimoto, 1997 Honda Civic, and occasionally Mr. Sakai, Lisa's 2005 Honda Accord

12. What are your favorite clothes? T-shirt

13. Where would you like to visit? Maine

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? I dispensed some hot water into a new mug this morning for tea, and it cracked

15. Where would you want to retire? Ditto Cyn on the Texas Hill County, but it's too damn hot. Seattle area maybe.

16. Favorite time of day? Weekend mornings

17. Where were you born? Dallas, TX

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? Mixed martial arts

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? I'm going to tag Lisa, but why would they tag me back?

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? I'll guess Lisa

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Cynthia, because she demands it

22. Bird watcher? No

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning on weekends, and night weekdays

24. Do you have any pets? Audrey "Poop" Smith, cat

25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Yes, but it's not my place to do so

26. What did you want to be when you were little? Ray Gilstrap (failed on every similarity)

27. What is your best childhood memory? Hanging out in the clubhouse (no, not golf)

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat

29. Always wear your seat belt? Always

30. Been in a car accident? Yep, thanks Antonio the uninsured.

31. Any pet peeves? People who don't push in their chairs (yeah Cyn!), slamming doors / drawers / cabinets, people who don't signal while driving, people who get in my way, Jeremy Piven, undercooked food, socks with holes, polyester, loud music, cyclists who don't obey road signs, taxes, more taxes, California (sorry Alex, mostly it's around Sacramento), talking when it's "quiet time", the relentless battle against dust, leaving the top off of, well, anything, not throwing away trash, and drought

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? Black olives, onions

34. Favorite Flower? Hibiscus

35. Favorite ice cream? Cookies and Cream

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendy's

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Once

38. From whom did you get your last email? Cyn, let me know how Safelite works out, I have a chip. Last email that isn't spam is from Alex

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Fry's

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Uh, no.

41. Like your job? Nope

42. Broccoli? Bring it on

43. What was your favorite vacation? New Zealand part two with Lisa

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Alex, Jim, Stephanie, and Lisa at the Iguana Grill on Lake Travis

45. What are you listening to right now? Lisa walking on the treadmill (thump, thump, thump...)

46. What is your favorite color? Burgandy

47. How many tattoos do you have? 0

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? What's your obsession with tagging? What is tagging?

49. What time is it? 8:32pm

50. Coffee Drinker? Used to be, quit cold turkey February 2008 and haven't looked back

July 13, 2009 (11:00 pm) Too many days between posts. We say "The Hangover" and loved it, and "Public Enemies" and thought it was so-so. We ate Japanese tonight at Yamada, very yummy. Sunday we drove out to to Marble Falls and Horseshoe Bay, and then to Lakeway, to check them out for Stephanie's upcoming birthday. Lakeway was a clear winner. You can really see the effects of the drought at the lake.

July 3, 2009 (4:00 pm) I can't believe it's been ten years since Erin and Mike got married. They're back in Hawaii now, except this time with two kiddos in tow. Congratulations Erin and Mike!!!

I'm currently obsessed with Billy Mays (yes, before he died) and "Steal my Sunshine" by Len. Last weekend we tried some outstanding wines at the Grapevine Market, or as Mike has mercifully shorted it to, "The Market". Check these out:

Santa Carolina Charonnay, Casablanca Valley, Chile - I didn't like this one but Lisa thought it was really good. She likes her Chardonnay very oakey. Maybe she'll write something about it on her Facebook page. Only $8.00 a bottle.

Reinares Tempranillo, Castilla-La Mancha, Spain - As you know we've really started liking Tempranillo. This was really smooth and fruity, didn't burn on the way down, great smell, really nice. Also a bargain at $8.99. This will go well with tonights steaks!

Uma Cabernet Sauvingnon, Mendoza, Argentina - This was really good too. I love most Cabs, but this is definitely up high on my list. We took quite a world wine tour last weekend. This also is a great bargin at $8.49. The recession has been great for our wine purchasing.

Schloss Vollrads, Qualitatswein Riesling, Rheingau Germany - We've tried this one many times and bought a few bottles. If you like the taste or Reisling but don't like overlty sweet wines this one is pretty dry. Great fruit without too much sugar. Great for Summer.

Villa Rosa Moscato D'asti, Piedmont Italy - Of course you know by now what a fan I am of Moscato, add a little bit of bubble and I'm in Heaven. My absolute favorite is know only as "Blue Top" (might be Dolce?) but this gives it a run for the money. At only $10.00 a bottle it's a great price for a Moscato.

July 3, 2009 (11:15 am) Work up at a decent hour, mowed the "Yard of Plenty", watched Federer roll over Haas, taking a break while Lisa hits the treadmill, then we'll make a nice lunch and watch the dueling Andys.

July 2, 2009 (10:30 pm) I've got to get serious about getting the Lame Web Page back into shape. This bed is moldy, it's time to bake fresh!

June 19, 2009 (8:30 pm) Last night was a blast! I met Lisa at her "place of employment" downtown to install two new computers, then we headed over to 6th Street and decided to eat before the Alamo because the show started at 9:45. We tried the Old Pecan Street Cafe, a couple of doors down from the Alamo Drafthouse. We've always wanted to try it. The building was built in 1902 and spent most of it's life as a hardware store. The homemade bread was a nice thought but pretty dry and sandy tasting. The salad with their homemade vinaigrette (what can't "vinaigrette" be spelled vinegar+ette? Live would be noticeably easier) dressing was tasty and fresh. For entrees Lisa had blackened Redfish with squash and zucchini, and a dark etoufee sauce. I had pecan pesto stuffed chicken breast. The entrees were delicious and the service pretty good. One problem - the music was too loud. The bass was jostling our jowls. Funny think is they play classic crooner music from the 50s and 60s - Dean Martin, Bobby Darren, Eric Clapton (OK fine), etc. Strange music to have cranked up.

Afterwards we were off to the "Ladies of the 80s" sing-a-long. We were an hour early and there was already a line. It was great to see almost the entire crown dressed in some type of 80s nostalgic clothing - leggings, crunchy bangs, short poofy dresses, Jordache jeans. I felt not the slightest bit out of place in spite of being only one of three guys (seriously) and one of one heterosexual guy (again seriously). When the rush to the seats began we naturally hightailed it to our last row middle section preferred seats while the rest of the crowd rushed to the middle rows. The show was introduced by Henri and his sidekick of the day, as per usual, but this time we were treated to a little more Henri than usual because he was wearing a lime green leotard. The songs were fun, we knew them all. I had trouble keeping up with the girls but managed with the help of a little falsetto. The Buttery Nipple and White Russian didn't hurt. I got so excited at one point I knocked a full glass of water in my lap, the girls next to me found that amusing. Afterward we ended a night on 6th street the best possible way, passing Leslie on sidewalk as (s)he posed for pictures with the partygoers.

June 13, 2009 (4:00 pm) Unfortunately Lisa has to work today and don't get out weekly fix of the Grapevine Market. Rough life, I know. From last week we can recommend a moderately priced Monastrell from Merum in Spain. 85% Monastrell grape with a little Syrah (or Shiraz, same grape) and a touch of Tempranillo. Only $10.50, very dense with great "dark" flavors (choose your favorite dark flavor from black cherry, wet forest, earth, etc.) and a bit acidic. Also recommended from this tasting Saracco Moscato D'Asti. As you know we do love the Moscato D'Asti. They tend to be a bit pricey but at $16.00 this one is a good value.

I still haven't told you how wonderful is was having Julia, Paul and Miranda stay with us last weekend. I miss the company. More on that later, hopefully with a picture or two but we didn't take many.

June 10, 2009 (10:15 pm) Some random thoughts, because at this point any blog is better than no blog at all. The CD player in Mr. Nakimoto has failed. I presented a CD, it accepted, took it in, and then made a crunchy whirring buzz ping kind of sound, and the CD now appears to be permanent, and nonfunctional. Which is a darn shame because if a CD were to be stuck but still working at least I've have a little while to tire of the music. All of the Azaleas in Sid's Ridiculously Large Garden have been replaced with happier plants. One of the original plants that is thriving is "Society Garlic", it has nice blooms, doesn't use much water, and smells like, well, garlic.

We tried some outstanding wines at the Austin Wine Festival, advertised to be held at the Domain, when a more appropriate description would have been in a field behind the Domain. Anyway, on of the very best we tried was a Syrah-Tempranillo blend from Red Caboose Winery, someone in Texas. Another we liked was the Cabernet Claret from Spicewood Vineyards. Served chilled, it's a light refreshing summer red.

That's all for tonight, I'm sleepy. More soon, I promise!

May 25, 2009 (10:10 pm) Where did the long weekend go? Here's to appreciating those who served and are serving and remembering those who gave their lives serving our Country. We packed quite a bit into the long weekend. Friday, we say "House" at the Hyde Park Theatre, another fine production and superb performance from artistic director Ken Webster. Flexed both the dramatic and comedic muscles in this one. Saturday we headed off to Dallas to visit the folks. Sunday we headed to Bryan to visit the Messina Hof winery, where we tasted some pretty good wines and walked out with a 2005 double barrel private reserve Cabernet Sauvignon. Good stuff, hard to find outside of the winery. Then we headed to Cafe Eccel, noting all of the things that had changed. The mall next to Hastings is now an HEB and the Triangle Bowl closed. I'm pretty sure that's where I had my first White Russian. Today we went to the Austin Wine Festival, there were about 8,000 wineries from all over the State of Texas (OK, exaggeration) and we had to find 10 to try, and let me tell you what - we seemed to find all of the good ones. Texas is starting to mature its Pinot Noir, Sangiovese, Tempranillo, and Granache vines, and you can really tell from the great wines. Some in the old world vein, most in the new world very fruity and bold vein. Perhaps some day I'll post some more pictures. Note the time, it ain't happening tonight.

May 20, 2009 (11:40 pm) Bedtime! We saw "Star Trek" last night at the Alamo Ritz, always a fun time. I was already downtown so I was able to get there early and be first in line, which in the smaller theater means getting a seat on a couch at the back of the theater.

May 15, 2009 (10:48 pm) The Lame Web Page is getting really, really stale. My apologies - I'm gathering energy for a reboot. Tonight we met at the Alamo Drafthouse Downtown for a screening of the funniest movie ever, Airplane! Complete with props, drinking games, and audience participation. Much fun.

April 27, 2009 (11:00 pm) A very special Lame Web Page birthday shout-out to Julie, who has one of the few birthdays I can remember because it's pretty consistently a week after mine. Julia, if you're reading this stop and go get Miranda. I have a message for her.

Miranda, we need to both work on your Mom and Dad to make sure we all get to go to Schlitterbahn this June when you come visit for your cousin's wedding. Schiltterbahn is the most fun place on Earth. We can't miss out. Just look at all of the fun:

So every time you see either your Mom or Dad say "we're going to Schlitterbahn with Sid and Lisa, aren't we" and "Sid says we have to go to Schlitterbahn or all of the plants Daddy has planted will wilt". Strength in numbers, we can do this!

April 22, 2009 (10:00 pm) Happy Earth Day! I'm not going to rant today about Earth Day, I'm not in the mood. Trust me, don't get me started. Anyway, we had a wonderful birthday weekend with my parents in Fredricksburg and surrounding "Texas Wine County". We'll put together a little something about the various vineyards we visited and some great wines we found, and a few to avoid.

April 16, 2009 (11:00 pm) The good thing about limited mobilty is I'm catching up on pictures postings. We enjoyed some delicious dinner at Yama Sushi and other generally Asian food because Japanese alone doens't appeal to the average Kung-Pao eating American. We enjoyed the usual, Ebi Maki roll for Sid, and Gyoza dumplings and beef with broccoli to share. Sid's whitty attemps to charm our regular waitresses fail again, without a pop culture "in" I can't pull it off. It also helps to have Comrade Alex there, like the time we convinced the waitress at our favorite Chinese restaurant that were a popular morning radio duo. My attempts at Yama have consisted of "Blues Brothers" trivia, which was met with "What are 'Blues Brothers'" and tonight warning them that showing "Kill Bill" on the giant television was probably not a great choice for dining, met with a "What's 'Kill Bill'". I need to find another angle.

The knee, since the draining with the "long" needle has felt quite a bit better. I can walk, but can't bend past ninety or completely straighten it out. The care from Lisa has been beyond stellar, if you ever have a knee problem I strongly recommend you come stay with us. By the way, check out some new pictures.

April 15, 2009 (9:45pm) Posted, finally, pictures from Christmas. Enjoy! Had the knee drained today, it's feeling quite a bit better.

April 14, 2009 (9:50 pm) Setting new records for Lameness. I'm experimenting with RSS feeds, we'll see if this does anything:

Lame Wine Recommendation: Terredora Aglianico 2007, Camparia, Italy. This is some good red wine! Smells nice, very thick and a little smokey. Not sweet, but also not bitter. Highly recommended by the Lame Web Page Wine Society. $13.26.

March 26, 2009 (7:30 pm) Enjoy Chinquapin Oak cam!

March 25, 2009 (10:50 pm) I have a wine you need to try. Lisa and I had never experienced many Spanish wines until we started going to the Grapevine Market, and now we can appreciate a good "old world" wine.

Abrazo del Toro makes a Garnacha / Tempranillo blend that is smooth and delicious, and let's face it, cheap at $9.00 a bottle. The vintage we tried is 2004.

We tried some other very good wines that weekend, all very well priced. Ashbury Grove Chardonnay, good oak flavor. We won't drink Chardonnay unless it's oaked. L'Ameillaud VDP Orange 2007, I have no idea what any of that means but it's really good. Also a good value at $12.00 a bottle. This is a blend of Grenache, Syrah, and Carignan from the Southern Rhone region in France.

I'm sure you saw the story of Merengue star Crespo accused of having a little solo hanky-panky on a filght from Houston to Miami. I love three things about this story:

1. His name is "Crespo"

2. He is a Merengue star

3. He looks like this:

Come on, he has to do it and it's unfortunate his schedule happened to coincide with an airplane flight. He is not Master of his Domain.

March 24, 2009 (10:45 pm) Whew, this day really came and went. We had an outstanding time celebrating Alex's birthday with her and her family last weekend in Corpus Christi. I'll share pictures soon. In the meantime, don't forget to check out our Facebook page (link at the top).

March 20, 2009 (11:30 am) I may not have the gumption to post anything new, but Lame Web Page Father does, so check out jimdunlap.net for a "slice of life" blog post.

March 15, 2009 (5:45 pm) Last Thursday the Johminator celebrated a birthday. Go to our facebook page for video posts of the momentous occasion. If you're not "on" Facebook, for Heaven's sake get "on" Facebook. In the meantime check out some new picture from our weekend downtown.

March 3, 2009 (9:15 pm) Yippie, we've posted some new (relatively) pictures. Check out the pictures section for a few from last month. Of course, I'm far from finished posting pictures from 2008, but you have to take what you can get. I need to explain why the flower bed is doomed to failure. We planted Azaleas and Camellia. Problem - these like acidic soil, and our soil is very, very alkaline due to the limestone that lurks under our 2" of soil. To make matters worse we mixed in a fine local product "Dillo Dirt", which is compost from Austin's wastewater utility. This is an email subject from my Mom, and this is a direct quote: "azaleas are screwed", which includes the link to the Dillo Dirt website stating Dillo Dirt is definitely not appropriate for Azaleas or Camellia.

We shall overcome, our flowers will succeed through sheer will and the positive attitude of its caregivers.

On to random, and I mean seriously random things. I'll number them to make future referrals easier, as is "oh yeah, that was #4 on March 3rd".

1. A teabag is a difficult thing to fling into a trash can. They fly funny, you never know where it will end up.

2. Comrade Alex was kind enough to share some words of wisdom, I graciously pass them on to you: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"; "A stolen moped doesn't go any faster than one purchased legally"

3. Liberals are on notice. You know who you are, and I'm one of them, but not for long if you keep this crap up. It seems in practice the open-minded are only open minded to any belief, as long as it's theirs. Liberals are showing themselves to be the most closed minded to anything other than a far liberal view. Although that makes sense, it's quite close minded.

4. Foreclosing on someone's home is sad, and should be avoided, but if you're in a house you can't afford you have to move. Most people live in apartments, we used to live in an apartment, and if you lose your home there are plenty of apartments. Media / open minded liberals seem to paint a picture that home foreclosure = living on the street. Bear in mind I classify myself as liberal, at least socially. For now anyway, but my peeps are on notice. I can't stand the idea that I will be punished because we bought the house we could afford, instead of the house the bank said we can afford. We couldn't afford toilet paper if we had bought a house for anything close to what we "qualified" for. Oh I know, the big bad evil banks forced poor, unsuspecting idiots to overlook the fine print, and the fact that $700 a month just doesn't add up to $400,000 over 30 years no matter how you slice it. Oh I forgot - I'm a liberal and thus everyone is too stupid to think for themselves, except me (and my fellow libs) who are ready to protect, and think for, the idiots.

5. I'm not sure if this a problem with liberals specifically, but I'll bet it is. When did our culture decide that if you don't go to college you're a failure? Everywhere you look - creating opportunities to make sure that everyone has the chance to go to college. Schools teaching to standardized tests with the goal of passing the Taks and then getting a good SAT, not to mention the disastrous 10% automatic admission rule. Going to a trade school to learn a trade like electrician, plumber, welder, or IT, should be just as encouraged as an academic path. Ask anyone who seeks employees with those types of skills if the need exceeds the demand and you'll get a yes. Plus skilled trades make really good money.

6. Lisa hates putting someone's name after a description, as in "A very strong fighter at 185 lbs. is Anderson Silva". I'm sure there's a grammatically correct way for me to express this, but I'm not sure what it is.

7. Comrade Alex and I had a brief pun-off. It's up to you to decide the winner. My entry:

Comrade Alex sail

Across the sea, swift and true.

Be gone, commie, leave.

Comrade Alex's entry:

Free Market money

Make a commie very sad.

Burn your money, burn.

I wrote one for Lisa just for fun:

Sid loves Lisa true

Drink the wine and eat the cheese

Buddy Lee loves me!

It's a good reference that my pet name for Lisa is "Buddy Lee" and hers for me is "Buddy Guy". Although we often get them mixed up.

That's enough with the random thoughts. I'll leave you with a couple of wine suggestions from the past couple of weeks.

Centennial Sauvignon Blanc, Australia - very smooth and drinkable white with a nice finish. $13

Cedre Malbec "Heritage", France - Lisa has really gotten into the French and South American Malbecs. She really likes this one but it's pricey at $16.

San Silvestro Moscato d'Asti, Italy - If you're going to drink a sweet Moscato, you might as well drink the most over the top one you can find. This smells so strongly of flowers and particularly honeysuckle, you'll think some Italian person painstakingly squeezed the nectar from a million honeysuckle flowers just to make a bottle for you. And them made it have just the right amount of sparkle. The good news is we have two bottles. The bad news is at $11 a bottle the eight cases at the Grapevine Market were snatched up and now we can't find it. The GVM wine snob suggested another Moscato that just doesn't compare.

I can't remember too much specifically about these other than they were all really good and reasonably priced. This was the weekend Mike missed that we raved about.

Cassagnoles Ugni Blanc / Colombard, France - $8.50

Ajello Grillo / Catarratto, Italy - $10.19

Cucao Chardonnay, Chile - $9.34

Roquebrun (mix of four grapes), France - $8.49; not necessarily good, Lisa calls it "interesting"

Ajello Nero d'Avola, Italy - $10.19

Castillo de Monseran Garnacha, Spain - $8.07. Garnacha is another recent grape we've started to enjoy. I wrote "super good" on my notes, and Lisa calls it a very good smooth sipping wine. And what a bargain!

Last week we tried a few and found a couple we really liked:

El Molinet Tempranillo / Cabernet Savingnon, Spain - Tempranillo is another grape we've been introduced to. Ths was Lisa's favorite last week. $15

Maurodos Prima Tinta de Toro, Spain - This was my favorite, I described it as "Smooth, like Shaft".

That's all there is for today, until next time...

March 1, 2009 (10:00 pm) We're exhausted from a weekend spent planting a new flower bed in the back yard, dubbed by Lisa as "Sid's Ridiculously Large Flower Bed." You be the judge:

February 28 , 2009 (8:00 pm) Lame web cam is on!

February 22, 2009 (11:00 pm) Is it our imagination or did the "In Memory" tribute of the Oscar ceremony neglect to mention Heath Ledger?

February 22, 2009 (5:35 pm) What are the criteria for being invited to attend the Oscar ceremony? Mario Lopez? No offense Mario, but how are you planning to get in?

February 14, 2009 (11:24 pm)

February 12, 2009 (9:34 pm) I'm on a roll now! Check out the "pictures" section for Peru Part 2. Granted I'm getting ahead of myself because I have many picture from 2008 I have not posted, but you've got to run with it when you get the inspiration. More will be posted, I promise! Lisa helped with these, that made it go a lot better. Here's a teaser for pictures to come, the official 2008 Lame Web Page Christmas Tree!

February 9, 2009 (9:00 pm) The Lame Web Cam is on, click on the bottom right button on the Lame navigator to watch me as I probably snooze at the desk.

February 4, 2009 (10:30 pm) The Lame Web Page computer is back, fresh and clean, and ready to roll! Expect some dandy Lame Web Page updates soon. I have some reviews of Frontera Fest 2009, of which we attended numerous performances. Also, ur ongoing series on wine - we've tasted many and enjoyed a few. We're taking a "Wine 101" class tomorrow at the Grapevine Market, so we'll be prepared with better wine-speak in the future.

January 19, 2009 (7:30 pm) The good news is Lisa felt up to the Grapevine market Saturday, which means life is pretty much back to normal. Mike met us there, and after the superb tasting the last time we went, we had hyped up another GVN experience. Lunch was delicious, but unfortunately the wines were not. All duds in our opinions, and there was concensus from the three. A Hungarian selection; a Riesling from Germany that was neither sweet nor crisp; A rose from Italy; a red table wine from France, and a Merlot from Napa Valley. To help us get over this we opened a bottle of 2002 Messina Hof Cabernet Savingnon - the best Cab on earth. There's no debating this. Dark and rich, smooth, and full of flavor. Smells a little like port, but it's not sweet at all. Used a little in tonight's meal, Sid's Famous Stew, so I can't wait to dig in. Since you asked, here's the recipe for Sid's famous stew:

Stew meat, as much as you can stand to buy, extra lean

Red wine, something with some flavor. Nothing sissy.

Organic baby carrots, cut into thirds, about two cups

One onion, diced

One poblano pepper, diced fine

Three "Tim" Russett potatoes, cut into cubes, 2-3 cups

Celery, chopped, about two cups

Can of crushed tomatoes, about two cups

Flour, chile powder, dried chopped rosemary, some kind of seasoned salt (like steak rub)

Olive oil

Beef and chicken broth

I'm sure I'll think of more as I write - Saute the onions and poblano pepper to death, nice and brown and darn near burnt. At the same time mix the flour and spices and toss in the stew meat to coat. Heat some olive oil in your big stew pot over medium heat, and brown the beef, occasionally scraping all of the good burned on stuff off the bottom of the pan. Once it's good and brown (about 30 minutes) and dump in some wine, enough to be tasty. At the same time dump the carrots and celery in the pan with the onions and poblano pepper. Actually, do that a little earlier. Let it all cook away for about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally. Combine everything including the potatoes into the stew pot, add the crushed tomtoes and equal parts of chicken and beef broth to about an inch from the top of the pan. More if you have a really, really big pan. Really you just want to come just over the top of the stuff. It's not soup after all. Simmer over low heat, stirring occasionally, for 1 1/2 hours. Let cool, trust me, let it cool a lot of you'll burn your mouth. Serve with cornbread or Ritz crackers. Makes a lot of servings, figure two dinners and lunch for two. Mmmmm.

In other news we somehow managed to catch the dreaded ConAir, or Cornhole, or whatever it's called virus that's spreading throughout the Universe. This in spite of what I thought was iron clad defense, but I guess it snuck in between virus updates. This one is crazy, it disables a whole lot of windows services, making it impossible to download the patch from Microsoft, it disables yor firewall, adds all sorts of autorun programs all over the place, screws with the registry, etc. Because it makes up random file names and extensions it's really hard to detect and clean, if not impossible. The good news is, it seems we were able to get it off the computer. The bad news is Windows is all screwed up, so I'm going to format the hard disk and re-install the OS from scratch. I'm due anyway, I like to do that every once in a while to keep the Lame Computer running like a top. I just don't feel like dealing with it right now. I first have to make sure everything's backed up on the back up hard disk, then I'll be off line for a few days. Not that you'll notice.

I took Mr. N to Classic Honda for an oil change, because Lamb's is on my s**t list and I'm never going there again, in spite of convenience. The problem with Classic is they spend 15 minutes changing the oil and 45 minutes thinking of things that are wrong and need fixing. This time the main problem is the rubber bushings on the rear johnson rods are cracked and the suspension arms are rubbing together. I can believe this, because the rear suspension has been quite creeky. Also they said the powersteering pump and resevoir need to be replaced, which I'll believe when the power steering goes out, and the oil pan need a new gasket, which I can also believe because Mr. N is going on 12 years old and none of that has been done. The total came to almost $1,000.00 so I kindly declined, and I'll take it to the trusted Howdy Honda when I get the chance. Damn.

January 17, 2009 (11:50 am) Webcam is on! Click "Lame Webcam" to view.

January 11, 2009 (11:30 pm) A very big super-fantastic Lame Web Page "Happy Birthday" to Anne Marie, who celebrates her birthday today in Houston. Anne Marie, we're so proud of everything that you've done, and we look forward to seeing you soon!!!

January 10, 2009 (10:00 pm) Almost turned to a "yes", I have updated the Lame Web Page, albeit a minor update. First, I modified the Lame Navigator to the left to not make that casino slot machine sound as the picturnators settle on the winning photos. I do love it, but I don't love it again and again as I'm trying to look at pictures on the Lame Web Page. I can't figure out how to disable the sound once the first round of picturnating is complete. This is due to the Lame Navigator being layers of multiple "movies", and me not knowing how to pass variables and commands between them. When you restart the picturnator either by clicking or at the end of the main movie they reload, and the variables all reset. I'm sure there's a way and I will find it, just not today. In other news, the Lame Web Cam is up and running and occasionally on. I used a popular website, justin.tv, for the cam - the downside is there is the occasional ad on the cam screen. I also finally posted some more pictures in celebration or year 2008 gone by, from our trip to Peru. I have about 50,000 more to post.

Just to give you an idea of how sick Lisa is, she could not even attempt to go to the Grapevine market. However, I am please to present some very fine wines from our last visit.

For those of you who avoid Rieslings because they're too sweet, not all of them are. There are some very good dry clean Rieslings. Try Schloss Vollrad from the German Rheingau region, which is dominated by Riesling grapes. This is a little sweet, little dry, and really crisp. Next up is a Grenache (Granacha) from Abrazo in Spain, a delicious and easy to drink red table wine. They have a website but it's too annoying to point you there. Next is a Cabernet Sauvignon from Dominic Vallerio (not pictured), very robust but not at all bitter or biting. Gulpable almost. Finally, an old favorite of ours that popped up in the tasting, a sweet sparkling wine called "Risque", from Vignerons Sieur d'Arques in France, imported to the US by Toad Hollow. Liquid candy, mmm.

January 7, 2009 (10:30 pm) I almost posted a blog this evening, almost.

Lame Blog Archives