September 20, 2005 (10:41 pm) I've been in a foul mood, hence the lack of updates.  Really, working on the Lame Web Page can be a pleasant distraction, when the motivation is there.  I did complete the first of about 50 sounds to be converted.  As I am doing this in alphabetical order, I am pleased to present "Al Capone" 

I need to make the button a different color.  This will eventually allow me to easily insert sounds at the end of movie review.  Provided I get back into the swing of things.

September 18, 2005 (11:34 pm) Very happy birthday wishes go out today to Official Lame Web Page Chef Juliet in Ashland, Oregon!  Not much updating lately.  Now that "Blue Steel" is in place the process of formatting things to fit with the new look has begun.  I'm in the processing of converting all of the Lame Movie Review "heads sounds" to Flash for your listening convenience.

I've got some stories to tell, it's too late tonight.  Just to remind myself:

1. Vince Vaughn live at the Paramount

2. It ain't over until the fat lady sits

3. A woman and two poodles walk into a store

Lisa and I went to Schlitterbahn yesterday and had a great time.  Lots of water up the nostrils and a little touch of sunburn.  Today we did the usual Bakehouse breakfast, a trip to the store, some cleaning, and finally a little Sunday night television.  I also installed our DSL, so take that Roadrunner.  I'm looking forward to sending their modem back to them in the SBC box.  The email addresses continue to be sid@sidandlisa.net and lisa@sidandlisa.net, but the new "behind the scenes" email is sidandlisa@sbcglobal.net.

September 12, 2005 (10:44 pm)  I fixed the goof with the links on the Top Ten Page.  Comrade Alex and I played a dramatic three set match that's left me unable to sit in a chair, so I'm going to bed.

September 11, 2005 (7:49 pm) Here's a link to the Lame Web Cam until I get the "Lame Resources" section up and running.  Don't forget to check out www.charlesroe.net for cool pictures, stories, music, and a new Flash animation by Parker.

September 11, 2005 (7:23 pm) Yes, "Blue Steel" is now a reality.  I'm introducing it with reduced fanfare on this the anniversary of the terrorist attacks.  The only new section I've worked on is the "Top Ten" section.  More to come this week.

September 6, 2005 (11:22 pm) Comrade Alex and I continued yesterday's match with fire and gusto on the home court.  Final score, Capitalist Sid takes it (6-7) 6-3, 6-3, 6-2.  There were about three games in the first set today when I said to myself "If Comrade Alex keeps playing like this I can't possibly beat him".  Fortunately that was only three of the seventeen games we played.  If he played more consistently I'd never win, because his best game is better than my best game.  Speaking of tennis, Lisa and I are making it a late night watching Venus Williams and Kim Clijsters duke it out, it's one set each and Venus is up a break in the third.  There have been eight breaks so that's not such a big deal.

I ran into some technical problems with "Blue Steel" that I've been able to solve, but I'm too tired to do any more work tonight.  Tomorrow.

September 5, 2005 (10:03 pm) Lisa and I saw "The Aristocrats" Sunday at the Alamo, what a fun time.  I highly recommend it, be aware is really is as vulgar as the hype.  That goes for Bob Saget as well.  We went to Dallas Friday to visit my parents and came back Sunday.  Today I played an unprecedented Monday morning tennis match with Comrade Alex, Comrade took the first set in a tie-breaker.  That was some excellent tennis.  To continue the theme Lisa and I watched Andre Agassi, and we ate Chinese take out.  I took a nap and just like that it seems the long weekend is over.  Blue steel is finally ready, I just need to post it.

September 1, 2005 (11:15 pm) September already, wow.  Comrade Alex and I played a rousing three sets this evening in celebration of US Open season.  I'm working on some new Lame Web Page ribbons, prepare for excitement.

August 29, 2005 (11:00 pm) Comrade Alex and I enjoyed a marathon four set match this evening.  The evening weather was perfect, to the point of being creepy.  Combine that with the paranoia of Southwest Airlines jets screaming overhead every 45 seconds on their way to landing, while not a plane one took off, and you get a combination that produced some of the best damn tennis we've every played.  Now, I rant.

This story found in Yahoo news, from the AP I believe - "Farley Gets Posthumous Walk of Fame Star".  Oh come on now.  What did it, what pushed him to the upper echelon along side stars like Marlon Brando, Paul Newman, and Cary Grant?  Was it his work in "Tommy Boy" or was it "Beverly Hills Ninja"?  His vast body (pun intended) of films, all nine of them?  The story goes on to mention "Farley, whose physical comedy, wild antics and large appetite lent comparisons to another "SNL" alum, John Belushi, died on Dec. 18, 1997, from an accidental overdose of morphine and cocaine."  Wow, I didn't realize there's a correct dose of morphine and cocaine.  I'll have to make sure and talk to my pharmacist the next time I pick some up so I don't make the same tragic mistake.

Also in Yahoo news, from AP writer Nedra Pickler - "Bush Compares War on Terror to World Wars".  The story quotes the President you suckers elected as saying "We're not yet safe, terrorists in foreign lands still hope to attack our country. They still hope to kill our citizens. The lesson of Sept. 11, 2001, is that we must confront threats before they fully materialize."  So he really is now completely delusional.  Let's look at WWII.  Germany's Hitler amasses a million troops and starts occupying every country he can get to in a reasonable amount of time.  We and our allies (I'm pretty sure we were called the "allied forces") attack back, storm Normandy, etc. eventually bringing Germany to surrender.  Japan bombs Pearl Harbor, we battle them in the South Pacific before unleashing two weapons of mass destruction on them bringing the war to an end.  Germany starts a war, we attack Germany.  Japan starts a war, we attack Japan.  We are attacked by nineteen terrorists, fifteen from Saudi Arabia, the remaining four came from Egypt, the United Arab Emirates and Lebanon.  So what does Bush do?  Unsuccessfully goes after Osama "Bin" Laden in Afghanistan (points for trying) and we invade and occupy Iraq.  How does this make sense to anyone?  Am I missing something?  A recent AP polls shows only 38% of Americans currently support Bush's handling of Iraq, so maybe there's hope.

Pat Robertson recently was quoted as saying "I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war".  He later denied he used the word "assassinate", unfortunately for him someone somewhere was watching the "700 Club" and had even Tivo'd it, so it was there for all to see.  It's so ironic that someone who fights so vehemently to allow public places to display the Ten Commandments, doesn't seem to mind advocating something that flies right in the face of the ever popular Commandment Six, "Thou shalt not kill".  I don't remember my bible having any disclaimers in the margins, like "Except Hugo Chavez".  This from the same guy who asked God to create a vacancy on the Supreme Court, and when God made O'Connor retire Pat asked God to kill Renquest.  We're still waiting on that one.  The good news is Pat is 75 years old, the average life span of an American male, even a satanic heathen like Pat, is only 78.  Add some bonus years for Pat's age-defying protein shakes, and we can count on God bringing him home within the next eight years.  Oh Lord, please bring Pat home as soon as possible, and take Jesse Helms with you.

August 27, 2005 (11:39 pm) The important days just keep coming, today we are happy to celebrate the birthday of Charles Roe.  Charles has the pleasure of spend this day with his family - Cecelia, Olivia, and yes, even Parker who's visiting all the way from Western Canada.  Happy birthday Charles, we're sorry we can't be there to celebrate with you.

Today was a lovely Saturday, we slept in and went the Bakehouse for breakfast.  Lisa had to work, I took a nap.  Comrade Alex and I played a three-set battle in the scorching heat (it was still 95 degrees at 9:00 when we stopped).  The Lisa and I headed back to the Bakehouse for a late dinner, and here I am tomorrow.  Tomorrow I continue working on the "Blue Steel" edition of the Lame Web Page.

August 24, 2005 (10:24 pm) Comrade Alex is proud to present Lisa her very own customized birthday top ten list:

Top Ten Things That Will Happen to Lisa on Her Birthday

10. Sid will buy her a thoughtful tennis ball hopper and a case of Penn tennis balls. Sid and Alex will test it out and make sure it works properly.
9. Sid will take a five minute break from constantly listening to the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Soundtrack long enough for Lisa to hear part of a different song.
8. Comrade Alex will deem August 23rd “Lisa Day” in his new Republic. Sadly, since Comrade Alex is the sole member of the new Republic it will be a somewhat tepid celebration.
7. Comrade Alex will treat Sid and Lisa to a 3-night; 4-day retreat to their choice of Cancun, Las Vegas or Puerta Vallarta. Unfortunately, they will have to sit through a four hour seminar on the joys of participating in a time share to claim their gift. Damn he’s a generous bastard.
6. Downtown drivers will redouble their efforts to mow her down on city crosswalks. 
5. For one night only, the Umpalumpas* go back into the closet.
4. The Chianti Police will be on high alert tonight as Sid and Lisa make their way to Vinny’s for Chianti Martini night.
3. She will mysteriously age an extra year due to an unfortunate lame web page blog error. (Is there a 24-hour retraction guarantee oh lame web page master???)
2. The crazy uncle from the Dave and Buster’s Red neck murder mystery will finally come looking for his plate of grits.
1. In lieu of a real gift, Comrade Alex will write her a crappy top ten list. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LISA!!!!!!!!!

*Oompa-Loompas, Comrade

August 23, 2005 (12:52 pm) I wish the Lame Web Blog was a serious publication like the New York Times or the Washington Post.  If it was, I could merely print a very tiny correction at the end of today's entry.  For example - "CORRECTION - Yesterday's headline 'U.S. Invades Belgium' should have read 'U.S. Invades Iraq'.  We apologize to the Belgians." So as is stands I have to own up to the error.  The greatest day in history was indeed August 23, 1972, the year Lisa was born.  The only significant birthday on August 23, 1971 was that of Hugh Douglas, NFL defensive end for the New York Jets.  We apologize for any inconvenience.

August 22, 2005 (10:53 pm) One hour and seven minutes until the anniversary of the most important date in the history of the Universe, August 23, 1971 - the birthday of one half of the namesake of the Lame Web Page, Lisa.  Lisa's going to be 33.  That's right, a pair of threes, a "creative little hand" as Vince Van Patten might say.  So to my best buddy on this her birthday, a very heartfelt "I love you".  I look forward to spending your thirty-third year with you and hundreds more to come.  Everybody sing a little Happy Birthday to Lisa today.  I love you buddy.

August 17, 2005 (11:09 pm) Lisa and I met at Magnolia for a lovely dinner, then we ran some errands. I'm not sure where the night went, here it is bedtime. Seems the most productive blogs seem to be rant based, so here goes. Found in Yahoo news, by Sarah Hall under the headline "Diddy Drops the P." Seems Sean Puffy Puff Daddy P. Diddy Combs has trimmed down to a svelte "Diddy". On the Today show he indicated the "P. Diddy" was making it difficult for fans to address him. At shows, half the audience would chant "P. Diddy" and the other just "Diddy", and apparently that was an issue. In typical AP news fashion the end of the story had nothing to do with the topic, as it went on to mention Diddy is appealing a ruling ordering him to pay $21,000.00 a month in child support. What a strange world with no relation to what most of us call reality. I can't believe this was in the news.

Also from Yahoo news, an AP story about a radio station in Lexington Kentucky that cancelled Garrison Keillor's daily spot in which he talks about an important milestone in the writing world that happened on that date. Here's the best part - the radio station cancelled the spot not because of listener complaints. In fact, there wasn't a one. The concern was the FCC fining the station because some of the commentary included the word "breast" and phrase "get high". Can you believe the FCC has gone so over the top that they are essentially scaring people into not exercising their constitutional right to free speech? Not a single listener complaint, for goodness sakes you can get a couple of idiots to complain about anything, especially in a value-voter rich state like Kentucky. How far are we going to let the FCC go? They are a Government agency, and the Government is supposed to answer to the people. I'll keep an eye out for some good news on that front, it can't be all that bad can it?

Oh help us. Yahoo news reports the FCC has hired self described religious conservative and anti-porn crusader Penny Nance as a part-time advisor. She wrote President Bush that she wanted the TV networks to restore "the eight o'clock family hour" and complained of a "huge indecency problem" on basic cable (maybe she was referring to Robert Novak uttering "bullshit" on CNN). See previous entries to the blog for my take on the concept of public airwaves.

The Internet Movie Database reported on the settlement Sony reached in a class action suit stemming from Sony using a fake movie critic to promote films. Anyone who saw A Knight's Tale, Vertical Limit, The Animal, Hollow Man, or The Patriot can apply for $5.00 from the settlement. Oh boy, almost enough to buy half a movie ticket. All 65 people who saw these films are encouraged to apply.

I am so sick of anti-smoking crusaders. For example, Britain's New Scientist magazine (who trusts an old scientist) studied 447 movies produced between 1990 and 2000 and found 36 percent of bad guys and 21 percent of good guys smoke. Anna "The More Names the Better" Adachi-Mejia from Dartmouth is quoted as saying "Movie stars are powerful role models" and "the alarming issue is that kids are still seeing smoking being modeled". Message to Ms. Adachi-Mejia - get a life. Kids spend what, maybe 1 1/2 hours a week watching movies? What about the parents who smoke? What about the guy flicking his butt onto my car hood as I drive? What about the middle-aged woman who work for the insurance company huddled around the ashtray in front of the building during lunch? Smoking is everywhere, why waste time on such an insignificant issue and a personal opinion that isn't supported by a shred of scientific evidence? Because it makes you feel good, doesn't it Ms. Adachi-Mejia. And it's easy, a hell of a lot easier to watch 477 films and note who's lighting up rather than study whether or kids are actually influenced by it? Thank you for saving the children.

Speaking of anti-smoking crusaders, Austin's smoking ban is going into effect in a couple of weeks. I voted against it. A private business has every right to allow it's adult patrons to participate in any legal activity it pleases. And I have a right to never ever patronize a business that allows smoking. That's the way it should work.

Since I'm on a hell of a role, two things that bother Sid:

1. People who keep plastic on their furniture
2. The motivational slogans written in huge letters on the walls in gyms

This in from Yahoo news, the AP I believe - "Congress May Take Action on MLB Drug Use" To quote the story "A member of the House committee that held hearings on steroid use in March says Congress may feel compelled to get involved in testing major league players for banned substances." For this you have Representative Patrick McHenry, a Republican from North Carolina to blame. I'll say it again - it's great to know the Government has achieved peace in Iraq, captured Bin Laden, reformed Social Security, balanced the budget, saved the environment, and provided health care to everyone so our elected representatives can tackle the pressing issues like a bunch of overpaid athletes using steroids. Looks like another freshman congressman without the clout to take on a real issue trying to get his name in the papers, and it worked. Maybe next he'll attack the case of the smoking movie stars!

August 15, 2005 (12:37 pm) Mmmmmm, leftover enchiladas...

August 15, 2005 (12:11 am) Finally, some serious progress on "Blue Steel".  Unfortunately, the tabloids got wind of it and are planning on spoiling the surprise on tomorrow's news stands, so to beat them to the punch here's a preview:

August 14, 2005 (4:53 pm) The Lame Webcam is on-line.  I'm working on the next generation Lame Web Page, code name "Blue Steel".  We'll see if it lives up to the name, and of course, Zoolander.

August 9, 2005 (12:40 pm) It's been a while, huh?  I'm at lunch right now, no time to rant or rave.  We'll see what happens tonight.

August 4, 2005 (9:52 pm) Lisa and I saw "The Island" tonight.  Worst movie since "Northfork".  Do not see it.  Do not.  Not until you've seen every other film ever made.  OK, you can see it before Northfork, but that's it.

August 1, 2005 (11:50 pm) It's late, I'm tired, so who knows how this will look in the morning.  Oh the fun, Bush has installed John "Michael" Bolton as ambassador to the United Nations. The AP article by Terence "and Philip" Hunt starts out: "President Bush installed embattled nominee John Bolton as ambassador to the United Nations on Monday, bypassing the senate after a testy five-month standoff with Democrats who argued that the tough-talking conservative was unfit for the job."

Perhaps he's referring to Democrats such as Republican Sen. George Voinovich of Ohio, who says "I am truly concerned that a recess appointment will only add to John Bolton's baggage and his lack of credibility with the United Nations". Recall he's been one of the sane Republican voices with concerns about Bolton.

Continuing with the article (notice how dutifully I cite my reference, like a non-commercial personal use academic paper, which the Lame Web Page essentially is) Kofi "with cream and sugar" Annan noted that Bolton is but one of many U.N. ambassadors. "I think it is all right for one ambassador to come and push," Annan said, "but an ambassador always has to remember that there are 190 others who will have to be convinced, or a vast majority of them, for action to take place."

Which certainly explains why the UN never accomplishes anything on its own.

As I'm sure you heard four Boy Scout leaders were killed recently when they erected their tent pole under a power line. Lisa pretty much said "don't go there" but how can I not? Four new contestants for this year's Darwin award, the gene pool is that much stronger. How can an all-male organization that dresses in button down shirts tucked into khaki shorts, with tube socks pulled up to the knees and a bandana around the neck, which has an annual party called a "jamboree", not allow gay members? That makes no sense.

Veterans and some elected Government officials got all up in arms recently because the move "The Wedding Crashers" website features a purple heart you can down load and wear to weddings to meet women and get free drinks, a tactic used very briefly in the film. From a U.S. Newswire article in Yahoo News, a quote from the president of the Vietnam Veterans of America Thomas H. Corey: "Millions of American fighting men and women have been awarded the Purple Heart since it was introduced by Gen. George Washington in 1782. That award honors the service and sacrifice of those who put their lives on the line for our country and were wounded in action. It is unconscionable to me -- and is an insult to everyone who has served the nation in the military -- to trivialize the Purple Heart in this way."

You know, he's absolutely correct. I could never in a million years do what he did in the Vietnam war nor could I volunteer for the armed services now. And I (and all of us I'm sure) are damn glad there are men and women who volunteer to defend our country. I just wish people would promote "freedom" for what it really is - freedom to express ourselves however we wish, including burning flags and pretending to wear purple hearts to pick up chicks. Seems a lot of people feel "freedom" has a footmark that reads "provided your thoughts and expressions are consistent with right wing Christians". The movie producers caved and took the feature of the website, now there's talk of editing it out of the movie. Still think we're really free? Of course, it is the number one movie in the country, fake purple hearts and all. Besides, didn't John Kerry trivialize the purple heart when he demanded his third one for a scratch on his ass so he could come home and pretend to toss his medals at the Capitol ("They just waived the third miracle" - Father Guido Sarducci).

Speaking of the freedom to express yourselves, I'm sure everyone's seen the rash of ribbons hitting SUV and truck bumpers everywhere.  "Support the Troops" is a popular one, because it's a lot easier to buy a Chinese made $2.99 magnet and stick it on your car rather than buy a soldier a phone card or write a letter, or even not use 60 gallons of gas a week so our soldiers are sent to occupy oil-rich countries under false pretenses.  But I digress.  Who, I ask, is going to support all of these ribbons?  Comrade Alex and Capitalist Sid are proud to present for you, the ribbon supporters, three unique actual magnetic ribbons, available from the Lame Web Page store in conjunction with the Franklin Mint.

"Support Our Ribbons"

"God Bless the Ribbons"

And the newest offering, "Who! Who Doesn't Want to Wear the Ribbon!"

Guaranteed to fade within two weeks.  Not responsible for vandalism or other violent acts by humor-impaired right-wing nut-jobs.

July 31, 2005 (10:51 pm) Lisa really likes her new tennis racquet.  I completely forgot to mention the best part of the story.  I naturally had to call Lisa prior to spending $90.00 on a new tennis racquet.  I asked her if it was something she'd like for her birthday, she was so nice to reply yes.  It's like the time Homer gave Marge a bowling ball for her birthday, at least I asked first.  So now Lisa has a tennis racquet, and she loves it.  Friday was the first "Head Titanium" vs. "Head Titanium" slug-fest between Comrade Alex and Capitalist Sid, let me tell you it was a hell of a match.  We played today and again had a good match.  The light racquets have elevated our serves to new heights.

Lisa and I saw "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" last night at the Alamo Drafthouse.  In true Alamo style they handed out Wonka chocolate bars and had a chocolate fountain in the lobby, and they offered a fizzy lifting drink (campaign, cider, and lemon) on the menu.  We loved the film, more than any we've seen in a while.  The guy who played the Oompa-Loompas was outstanding.  I expected Johnny Depp to be too strange, really he wasn't.  This also stayed more true to the book (so they tell me) than the first film.  More development of the characters and a satisfying ending.  Definitely a must see.  Perhaps there will be a review someday, after the great Lame Web Page revitalization that is pending Federal funding approval.

July 28, 2005 (10:29 pm) So here's how the story goes.  As usual I head over to the "home court" at Comrade Alex's place, ready to play.  He leaves a little earlier than me to prepare the water and occupy the court.  I arrive only to find a dejected Comrade and two familiar ladies on the court.  Do we wait or go to the back up plan?  We choose back up, and headed to Westlake.  Since we're a little later than usual the courts are pretty full, but we're lucky to find one in the back.  We begin the warm up, and it's evident we're both hitting well.  We start the game, and we're smashing the heck out of the ball, hitting every shot.  We play to one game each and begin the third game with Comrade Alex serving.  Upon unleashing a monster forehand we hear the all-too-familiar "boing!" of Comrade Alex breaking a string.  This is a big problem.  You see, Comrade Alex was playing not with his back up racquet, but his third-string racquet.  That's all there is.  Time to head home.  So we're driving, and Comrade Alex brings up the fact that I'm jealous of his new ultra-light "Head Titanium" racquet.  I've said it just might be the thing to help my arm pain.  We're heading down loop 360, and Academy is within site.  Could it be?  Are we so crazy?  We were playing very well after all.  Faster than a Comrade Alex zing on a hot day we're in line, checking out, new tennis racquet in hand.  So we head back to the home court, run off the ladies on the court (we bought a new racquet to play, for God's sake - so get the hell off the court) and we resume the game.  I'm playing with my trusty Prince Triple-Threat and Comrade Alex has the new Head.  There was must discussion over the arrangement with my feeling being that we we're both playing with familiar racquets instead of trying to learn new ones.  That's when Comrade Alex proceeded to beat the crap out of me.  He broke and broke again, going up 4-1, then he let me hold serve so I could retain a sliver of dignity, then he forged ahead to take the set 6-2.  Same story in the second set, 6-2.  Every weapon of his was firing - Serve and volley; serve down the middle or out wide; deep topspin to sharp angles to drop shots.  All there.  While at Westlake we were next to a couple of UT frat boys, beating the hell out of the ball (80% were out) and not talking, smiling, pausing, nothing.  I was pleasantly reminded of the fact that win or lose, we always have fun.  And I enjoyed getting trounced because it's a challenge for next time.  The prophecy has been fulfilled - Granted I was something like 800-0 in best of three set matches with Comrade Alex, but we both knew he's the better player, it was just a matter of time until he got back in the groove, keeping his concentration for a entire match.  Now I to improve my game.  Bring it on, Capitalist Sid loves a challenge.

July 26, 2005 (10:23) I'm tired, so I'm not going to write the whole story - Comrade Alex thrashed me at tennis today.  Never have I been so thoroughly dominated.  The game is going to the next level.  Bring it on.

July 26, 2005 (12:15 am) I've got nothing to say!

July 24, 2005 (10:22 pm) Alas, another weekend coming to an end. Today Lisa and I spent the better part of the afternoon creating invitations to Julia's baby shower. I think they turned out great. We saw "Wedding Crashers" at the Alamo South. Always a fun time, that Alamo. They were hosting a poker tournament after a screening of "The Sting". We both enjoyed the film. It wasn't as riotous as "Old School" but certainly had its laughs. When Vince Vaughn goes off on a monolog it's outstanding. And you've got to get all of the Christopher Walken you can. Perhaps I'll write more if I ever do another movie review. I'm working on the next generation Lame Web Page (codename: Blue Steel) we'll see if I ever get done.

Unfortunately, I feel another rant coming on. Lisa, you can stop reading here.  Lisa doesn't like my rants.  Given we are in the mist of a costly and deadly war to forcibly spread some freedom to the oppressed Iraqi citizens, I can't help but read the following and wonder why we haven't intervened in Uganda, where the situation seems even more dire. I know it's not because Uganda has no oil for us to control. It's also worth noting the driving force behind the conflict is the bible, and the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) leader Joseph Kony wants a regime that will be guided by the ten commandments.

From the story, via Yahoo news and the AFP - "The notoriously cruel LRA has been fighting the Ugandan government since 1988, ostensibly to establish a regime that would be guided by the Bible. The ongoing war has killed tens of thousands and displaced over 1.6 million people, 80 percent of whom are women and children, and seen thousands of children abducted to serve as rebel fighters or sex slaves. According to UNICEF and other aid groups, rebels have abducted around 20,000 children."

Seems to me the Bush administration is overlooking the oppression in so many Africa countries, which I certainly think can be argued to be among the worst in the world. Quite frankly, going into Uganda to wipe out the LRA should be easy, a BBC report claims there are only 200 armed fighters. Goodness knows they don't have the resources and certainly aren't armed to anything the extent of Iraq? It'd take ten minutes. So what's stopping us? No return on the investment? Christian vs. Christian wouldn't have the pay-per-view draw of Christian vs. Islam? Who knows, I really wish I could figure it out. If anyone has any ideas email me to set me straight on the matter.

For further reading, check out the Wiki on the subject.

July 20, 2005 (9:39 pm) Woo-hoo, it's "rant day" on the Lame Web Page.

First rant: Let's begin with this story found on Yahoo News by Ron Harris, AP writer. Headline: "'Grand Theft Auto Game Rating Changed to Adults-Only". The story - "The video game industry on Wednesday changed to adults-only the rating of "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas," a best-selling game in which explicit sexual content can be unlocked with an Internet download." Previously, "GTA" had received a "Mature" rating for the graphic violence, shootings, beatings, car jackings, etc. What better example to focus on the close minded zealous single issue that the religious right seeks to save the children from - sex! Boobies! Violence, sure it gets a Mature rating indicating it's recommended to those ages 17+, but the children's can still buy it. Leak a code to internet that unlocks some hidden sexually explicit material and bang - you get an adults only rating and only those 17+ can buy the game. And now, Wal-Mart, Target, and other retailers are taking it off the shelf. Wal-Mart sells the Savage 24F-12 Combo Rifle/Shotgun 223 (at deep discount prices) but recently banned the men's magazine Maxim. They won't carry music with explicit lyrics but they will sell you the Weatherby 7mm Wby Mag 139-Gr SP Ammunition for your gun. They will sell you a Jackie Bushman Signature Bow (perfect for marksmen on the hunt) but not The Daily Show with Jon Stewart's America - Democracy Inaction. Do I think their inconsistent censorship is wrong? Not wrong, but certainly misguided. Do I think they have the right to choose what to sell? Of course, don't forget my nickname is "Capitalist Sid". I just choose not to shop there. Unless I need a microwave. You can get one for $25.00.

Second rant: Let's move on dot org to this story, again found in Yahoo news from Reuters - "A California woman is suing a hospital for wrongful death because her husband fainted and suffered a fatal injury after helping delivery room staff give her a pain-killing injection."

The lawsuit was filed by Jeanette "not the town in Mississippi" Passalaqua after her husband Steven was asked to steady his wife while a nurse inserted an epidural needle into her back.

"The sight of the needle caused Steven Passalaqua, 33, to faint and he fell backward, striking his head on an aluminum cap molding at the base of the wall."

"Because Passalaqua was solicited by Kaiser to assist in the epidural, the lawsuit said, the hospital 'owed him a duty to exercise reasonable care to prevent foreseeable injuries resulting from his participation.'"

How could Kaiser not have predicted weenie-boy Steven would faint at the site of a needle? Didn't they test him before hand?

"A spokesman for Oakland, California-based Kaiser Permanente called the death 'a tragic accident.'"

Oh you naive bastard! "a tragic accident" indeed. There are no accidents, Kaiser is definitely negligent for not giving a sedative to Steve before asking him to steady his wife for the procedure. I know, I'm being very cruel because the fact is he did die and now Jeanette is a widow with two small children. As the result of a freak accident. It is tragic, but it's still an accident and accidents to happen everyday to good people and bad people alike. If he had been struck by lightening on the golf course, would you sue God?

We can all look forward to cases like this returning us to the days when the husband had absolutely no participation in the birth of the child, because hospitals won't want the liability. I'll just hang in the waiting room ready with the cigars. When I get the word, I'm going to a strip club with my buddies to celebrate because they damn sure won't let me into the room.

On a side but related note, I had an epidural after my surgery. Typically it's inserted while under anesthesia, but I had declined it before surgery because every other word of the release they wanted me to sign was "paralysis", but the pain convinced me otherwise. And it was a huge needle.

Third rant: This was on Yahoo news, I don't recall seeing a writing credit. Of course, I love when Austin gets mentioned. "Austin, Texas - A Kansas energy company said it donated $25,000 so that it could attend a golf outing with U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay to try to influence pending energy legislation."

Ok, I don't really have a rant here, I just don't like DeLay

We'll consider this the same rant, found in Yahoo news, no writer credit: "Washington - Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts has donated to the political campaigns of several Republican candidates, including one senator who will vote on Roberts' appointment to the high court. In recent election years, Roberts has contributed more than $3,700 to Republican candidates, including $1,000 to George W. Bush's successful bid for the presidency in 2000."

I assume they mean Washington DC. The best part about this story is it's a laundry list of the campaign contributions by Roberts, his wife, and his law firm's PAC. There's no point at all to the story. No opinion, no news, no nothing. Gotta love the liberal media machine. The time up to his confirmation hearings will be a blast!

Fourth rant: From Yahoo news as usual - "WASHINGTON (AFP) - The US House of Representatives approved, by a vote of 286 to 130, a measure which aims to outlaw desecration of the American flag. Supporters said the law was meant in particular to discourage demonstrators who might burn or otherwise damage the flag in the course of a protest."

Oh not again. How many times did Bush Baby mention the word "freedom" when he needed a new reason to justify the war in Iraq after the whole "WMD" thing fell through? And now this?

"Freedom of political speech does not include the destruction of a physical object -- especially one that thousands of soldiers have sworn and fought to protect," said House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.

I'm not sure but I think the soldiers have sworn and fought to protect our freedom and liberty, the same freedom and liberty that allows us to express ourselves in such a way. If they swore to protect the flag they'd just hang around the flag pole all day and that's not effective against terrorism.

Without delay, Tom continues - "The flag protection resolution does not restrict the constitutional rights of any one person. It restores legal respect to the flag by allowing states to make their own laws concerning the defense of our nation's most precious symbol of freedom,"

Just duct tape my mouth shut now. "Restores legal respect" - can you believe it? What the hell is legal respect? I thought I was free to disrespect as I choose. Protect freedom, email your Congress-person and tell them to protect our freedom as Americans. Hopefully, as is has each of the last five times the House has passed such a bill it won't make it past the Senate. As I'm fond of saying I'm glad there's no war, no terrorism, no poverty, no hunger, health care for everyone, and world-leading education so the House can try and throw in jail the three people know to have burned a flag in 2004. It's a symbol, that all. If this passes and you want to express your dissatisfaction with the Government but don't want to go to jail, burn a copy of the Bill of Rights. You can destroy the symbol while your elected officials destroy the spirit.

That seems like a good place to end. But wait! Bonus rant! From the trusty Yahoo news, by Martha Irvine, AP writer - "Chicago - Blogs are everywhere — increasingly, the place where young people go to bare their souls, to vent, to gossip. And often they do so with unabashed fervor and little self-editing, posting their innermost thoughts for any number of Web surfers to see."

Gee, sounds familiar.

"Some are, however, finding that putting one's life online can have a price. A few bloggers, for instance, have been fired for writing about work on personal online journals."

Duh. Rule number one of the Lame Web Page Blog - no writing about work.

The final news worth a damn, again from Yahoo, by Juan Lozano, AP writer - "Texas A&M Leads World in Cloning Animals"

"College Station, Texas - Eighty-six Squared has never been in a hurry. The Black Angus bull was born 15 years after cells from his genetic donor, Bull 86, were frozen as part of a study on natural disease resistance. When Bull 86 died in 1997, scientists thought his unique genetic makeup was lost. But researchers at Texas A&M University were able to clone him from the frozen cells in 2000."

"Similarly, Texas A&M researchers know animal cloning can't be rushed. Through painstaking experimentation, A&M is the world's first academic institution to clone six species in six years: cattle, a boer goat, pigs, a deer, a horse and — most famously — a cat named cc."

Gig 'em, Aggies! (That's to get Lisa riled up)

July 19, 2005 (10:10 pm) Back to Austin, it's good to be home.  Lisa and I had a wonderfully relaxing time in Las Vegas, the hottest damn place on earth - where you can find lots of people.  The big story was the record heat.  Anyone who returns from a trip with hot or cold weather extremes will exaggerate, but I swear to you this is the truth.  It got up to 116 degrees Monday.  That is seriously hot, even for Vegas.  We swam in the pool, forced to stay in the shade, and our eyeballs felt like they were melting.  The fun part was it's so dry when you first get out of the pool you are actually cold, so the key is to stay moist.

Since everyone will ask, no, we did not win any money.  We lost.  Specifically, I lost.  I'm very good at losing.  Lisa has restraint, she'll often break even or even come out ahead.  I'm out of control and thus guaranteed to be a big loser.

We stayed at the Rio, which we love, compliments of Lisa.  We've stayed there before, and we always wanted to see Penn & Teller.  We decided to fork over the big Penn & Teller bucks, and let me tell you - we're somewhat disappointed.  Not Zumanity disappointed, where you want to rip off your skin and jump into a vat of rubbing alcohol, but we still didn't think it had the grandeur of a Las Vegas show.  Which is part of their show, it's not the typical Las Vegas fare.  The poke extensive fun at Cirque Du Soleil as did the other show we saw.  Jealous I suppose because Cirque seems to be taking over the strip.  Anyway, lots of talk, a little illusion, and some boredom.

We decided we needed something cheesy and rip roaring a la Mama Mia, so we decided to see We Will Rock You, the smash London musical based around the music of Queen.  We had a great time, dancing around on the last row, enjoying our favorite Queen songs and a silly but really funny story.  The only think that we both didn't like was they changed a lot of the lyrics to fit the story.  That's really screws you up with you're trying to sing along.  For example: "All we need is... radio ga-ga... video goo-goo... internet ga-ga" and the like.  But we really did have fun.  The lead characters couldn't hit the range of Freddie Mercury, or certainly the power, which I think is more a testament to his greatness rather than a sign of their weakness.

Let's get to the real fun - the buffet!  We've had a few in Vegas, and I think the Rio is the best.  Not the famous seafood buffet (although fine, not my thing) but the "general" buffet.  We ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner there because frankly it was the best food for the money.  As far as buffet food goes it was very tasty and fresh, except for the desserts - all of the cakes, icings, and pies were dry, which I guess is expected in 1% humidity.  Only at a Vegas buffet could I enjoy the following on one plate:

From the top left, counter-clockwise - veggie sushi, mashed potatoes, tofu with vegetables, tuna (very good, I ate a lot), a steamed dumpling, shrimp with mushrooms, artichoke salad, a hushpuppy, and a fried shrimp.  That's some fun eating.  The did have a liqueur soaked strawberry shortcake that was good.

July 13, 2005 (10:06 pm) Finally, the Chess game is back on.  I think Lisa's list may be doing the trick.  Check out Comrade Alex's Red Corner for the latest move.  Comrade Alex seizes a beloved Popeil pawn.  Tomorrow, I attack!

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