Sid and Lisa's Lame Blog

Julia and Paul's "All Miranda" Blog	Charles, Cecelia, and Olivia's Home on the Web
Erin and Mike's "All Ella" Blog	Sid and Lisa's Lame Facebook Page

December 25, 2007 (2:13 pm) Happy Christmas to All! Per Lisa the famous "Lame Web Page Christmas Magnets" are being sent out especially late this year, to increase the Lameness. I'd love to chat but we're off to the Alamo Drafthouse for the second time in a day to enjoy "Juno" while feasting on a real holiday dinner, complete with guaranteed leftovers. And not that crappy Luby's turkey / lunchmeat, they promise the good stuff.

In the meanwhile check out the newly formed "Lame Videos" section to your left, replacing the popular but incredibly stale "Top Ten Lists". Nothing new as of yet but at least the art will now have a decent venue.

December 18, 2007 (11:59 PM) A very super happy fun time birthday wish to Cecelia, celebrating the day with Charles, O, P, and T down in Recife, Brazil. Happy birthday Cecelia!

December 17, 2007 (11:30 PM) Lisa and I went to Chuy's for dinner and then played Guitar Hero for hours, thus there's no time left for a blog. Perhaps tomorrow.

December 12, 2007 (10:39 PM) The Lame blog has really sucked lately. I was perusing the Lame blog archives and the quality has decreased by an estimated 67% (margin or error +/- 3%).

I can't expected to just flip a switch and expect to be back to my ol' blogging self, so I'll have to ease back in like a swimmer at Barton Springs.

I have to begin by reporting some very sad news. Katy the Burmese Python died last December 6. Katy was old, very old by snake standards - 32. I couldn't find any information on an older Burmese Python, and unfortunately Guinness only lists an oldest snake not limited to a particular species. You can get a little perspective in this article from the Dallas Morning News.

Moving on, in the sprit of blog diversity, today in Yahoo! news- "Man nearly dies downing vodka at airport". Naturally I think of Comrade Alex and the Motherland, where I'm sure this is not too unusual an occurrence. However, the circumstance is indeed unusual. A guy at the Berlin airport was trying to carry two pints* of vodka onto the plane. When he was informed he had to toss the hootch, he chose to toss it back. No orange juice, Kahlua, not even a spritz of vermouth.

Next story really ticks me off. From Canada, Muhammed Parvez was arrested and charged with strangling his 16 year old daughter, Aqsa. Allegedly the motive was her refusal to wear her hijab, or headscarf, and follow traditional Muslin conservative religious values. This is supported by a quote from one of her friends, and disputed by the man's lawyer who says there is "more to the story than just cultural issues."

What the hell else more could justify this? This is one to watch. The story goes on to note the killings have "ignited a debate on Canada" about the conflict between first generation Muslims who desire to uphold their strict Islamic beliefs and the second generation who desire to fit into Western culture.

I beg to differ, this should ignite nothing but condemnation of killing in the name of religion - period. That idiot statement trivializes the life of this poor girl. Debate? Stupid article.

We'll end with a recipe for a delicious Kahlua cocktail, in honor of the moron who almost died at the airport.

Method: Pour Kahlua and whipping cream into a cocktail mixer and shake thoroughly. Strain mixture into a tall glass and then add soda water. Best consumed with a straw.

December 8, 2007 (11:00 am) Happy Anniversary to Us, only two days late! Lisa and I had a great time Thursday on our anniversary. I'll get to a good post today along with some movies. In the meantime the Lame Web Cam will be on all day so you can look at all of the clean clothes I need to put away. I'm also tweaking the Lame video system (see below) to be more user-friendly. By the way, you might have to click in the blank area once to "activate" the plug-in, then be patient as the video file loads. I've tried to make it display a border so you'll know something's going on. We'll see.

December 2, 2007 (9:30 pm) Tonight is a night of Lame Web Page design research and development. First, the Lame Wab Cam appears to be working - like a sailboat with very little wind. My goal is to turn the Lame computer into a server to allow a direct cam connection and even streaming video / audio, but for now the old FTP method of one picture every few seconds will have to do.

Second challenge - embed a video in the Lame Blog without using YouTube. Here goes nothing, we'll see if it works. (Videos relocated to the "Lame Videos Section.")

November 26, 2007 (10:15 pm) A very special belated Lame Web Page "Happy Birthday" to official Reverend / Balladeer "Jef" Ray, whose birthday is sometime around my Mom's, which means we missed it. I copped this from his webpage. Happy Birthday Cowboy Jef, y'all take care up there in the cold!

November 25, 2007 (11:00 pm) We hope everyone in the Lame family had a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving! Here's a little peak at our Thanksgiving Turkey.

Also enjoy a new and unfortunately rare Lame movie review, this one for "American Gangster."

November 18, 2007 (10:15 pm) We are absolutely exhausted after an entire weekend spent putting in new base boards, and we're not even finished! Just to give you a little taste, here's the new Lame floor.

November 14, 2007 (11:45 pm) I'm breaking my solidarity with the Writer's Guild and wishing Official Lame Web Page Mom, Mom, a very happy birthday! Enjoy your cupcake!

November 11, 2007 (9:49 pm) The writer's strike has adversely affected the Lame Web Page blog updates, hopefully the situation will resolve soon. I'm reminded of one of my favorite Comrade Classic Quotes. Comrade Alex emailed us some pictures of his new plush, leather furniture. Lisa couldn't help but note the irony and ask Comrade Alex "How does someone who doesn't eat red meat have plush leather furniture?" This prompted the classic response - "If it's not leather, what's the point?" Classic Comrade.

November 4, 2007 (9:30 pm) You check out Erin and Mike's "All Ella" blog, link conveniently located above, for some outstanding trick-or-treat footage and splendid videography and editing by Mike. Just look at the little octopus go! Great walking, clearly ahead of schedule and superior to all others.

We are proud to present the long await and now irrelevant Lame Summer 2007 pictures! It's sad that the highlights of the past Summer include visits from the Brownells, Charles and Parker, and Juliet and Brint, and not a picture one. We did at least get a couple of pics of the Gibsons (previously posted) and the Dunlaps (soon to be posted).

Erin, seriously, what's with these elaborate dinners? Where does this come from? I thought about posted a Lame Web Page dinner menu but it would go something like this:

Wednesday - Sid enjoys a bowl of Chunky Chicken Corn Chowder and Lisa has some baked Cheetos Thursday - Lisa has a bowl of Campbell's Tomato Soup and Sid eats a ton of leftover Halloween candy. Friday - Sid and Lisa hit Ikea for meatballs. Saturday - Lisa works the pow wow all day so Sid gets Chinese take-out at a new placed, voted "Best Chinese Food in Round Rock" and it turns out to be OK, but not great, and nowhere near the taste and quality of the "Best Chinese Food in Cedar Park", the Hunan Chef. Sunday - Sid and Lisa set out to get some pancakes at Cracker Barrel but don't feel like waiting for three hours so we go next door to Chuy's and have our usual. The #9 chicken combo for Lisa (soft tacos, I think) and for Sid Deluxe Chicken Enchiladas. We eat on the patio, which is nice because the weather is perfect. For dinner I think I saw Lisa eating some more baked Cheetos and I have a Central Market Taste of Thailand "King Muscleman" curry shrimp over rice. Or maybe it's "Kang Massaman". Either way, it's tasty good.

Enough of that, check out the pictures section and enjoy a Lame Halloween video (seriously, it's really bad). (Videos relocated to the "Lame Videos Section.")

November 3, 2007 (10:30 pm) A super special Lame Web Page Birthday celebration extravaganza shout out to official Lame Web Page Sister and Ella Mom Erin, who celebrates birthday #2 as a Mom today. Happy birthday little Sister, as I enjoy the next three months only three years older than you. I'm sorry the Aggies couldn't deliver a win on your birthday. I figure I'll call you tomorrow so I don't interrupt your "date" (unless you stayed home because of the weather) and of course since most people seem to think the fourth is your birthday anyway. Take care! Love, Sid and Lisa.

October 30, 2007 (9:30 pm) A very special treat, Lisa "Cameron Crowe" presents a Rolling Stone worthy review of the Sinead O'Connor concert experience!

For those of you who are not privy to the current state of the Irish singer/songwriter Sinead O’Connor… she is not the same self destructive young lady with a vendetta against the Catholic Church and the Grammy Awards. Nor is she the same rebellious young woman who single handedly destroyed her popular music career. The forty-something Sinead is a somewhat mature and grounded version of that talented but frighteningly intense youngster. I am not saying that the shorn high priestess has gone “normal” on us… not by any means… and who wants that anyway…

However, 20 years in to a strange and sometimes brilliant musical career, Sinead has finally decided to embrace her destiny. She has recently gone public with her battle over mental illness (I still can’t believe Sinead O’Connor was on Oprah) in an effort to spread awareness. She also has a new double album entitled Theology and is touring North America for the first time in many years.

I had the privilege (and I do mean privilege) of seeing her perform live here in Austin (her only stop in Texas this time). Let me tell you that this woman can sing! She did not miss a note all night. If you closed your eyes, you would have a hard time telling the difference between the live forty-something Sinead and the twenty-something recorded Sinead. Poor Sinead… because of renovation issues... she was stuck performing at one of the worst venues in Austin – the very old Hogg Auditorium at UT…which also functions as a large classroom (seriously, you could pull little desks out from under the seats – handy to hold your beer). The acoustics were not Sinead’s friend that night, but this did not stop the power or passion of her voice. I was on the fifth row. Therefore, I could spot her constantly making little signals to the band and tech folks to adjust the sound. I’m afraid she was fighting a losing battle there. However, her amazing voice rose above the crappy venue and beyond the poor sound system to stun the adoring fans as well as those who were dragged to the show kicking and screaming.

She happily gave the crowd what they wanted and sang mostly old songs with a few pieces off the new album – including a beautiful song she wrote for a new children’s movie coming out this Christmas. As is the case on many of her albums…she sang a couple of songs A Cappella or with only an acoustic guitar (which she plays very well). She warned us at the beginning that she would be looking at floor a lot as she suffers from severe stage fright and had a panic attack during her last concert in Austin – so many moons ago (she assured us that she would finish this performance unlike her last one in Austin). Even with the stage fright… she managed to tell a few little jokes and even sang a brief impromptu song about her ear piece falling in her bra. She may have been nervous, but her voice remained strong and clear as a bell throughout the 90 minute show. That night among all her little smiles and big thank yous and stunning voice, I had a very hard time finding the woman who once tore up a picture of the Pope on national TV or often refused to sing the very popular song (ahem… written by Prince) that made her famous. But there was no mistaking that same powerful and passionate Irish voice that hasn’t aged a day… Not to mention… she still writes a mean song…

October 29, 2007 (11:15 pm) Incidentally, check out Comrade Alex's Red Corner if you haven't completely lost interest in the World's Slowest Chess Match featuring Comrade Alex's "All-Stars of Communism" versus Capitalist Sid's "Bull Market Warriors". Comrade, your move.

October 28, 2007 (11:01 pm) Progress on the hall bathroom is moving along slower than a pre-global warming glacier, but hopefully the pace will quicken once I'm over this bout of Pleurisy or whatever-the-heck is ailing me. Only a few more of those darn difficult to cut concrete boards left to install.

October 27, 2007 (11:04 pm) A super special birthday wishes for lots of presents and good cake to Taylor. Happy birthday, we hope you have a great time!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?-- Many millions were named before me
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?-- When George Harrison died
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?-- no, I don't like it and it's no good
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?-- I don't do the lunch meat anymore, but if I have to I'll say roast beef
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?-- No
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?-- No way
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM ALOT?-- About as often as Rosie eats a Ding Dong
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?-- Yes, and I use them every day. The give me my "edge".
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No urge there
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?-- Cocoa Pebbles (they're extra cocoey)
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?-- Yes, otherwise the heal gets messed up
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?-- Like Bull
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?-- Chocolate, dark, like Rocky Road but without marshmallows
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?-- I rate how much they annoy me
15. RED OR PINK?-- Red
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?-- Lack of a sense of style
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?-- Alex
18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?-- Yeah, I dare you
19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?-- Plaid PJs and socks
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?-- Homemade beef stew
21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?-- A marathon Harrison / McCartney / Lennon / Beatles retrospective with Lisa. A little Wilburys, Cloud Nine, Imagine, Off the Ground, Revolver, and Rubber Soul
22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?-- Cerulean
23. FAVORITE SMELLS?-- BBQ
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?-- Lisa
25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?-- Indeed I do
26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?-- Football
27. HAIR COLOR?-- Blond
28. EYE COLOR?-- Blue
29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?-- On very sunny non-work days
30. FAVORITE FOOD?-- All time used to be McDonald's bacon, egg and cheese biscuits, but my severe egg allergy has forced me to take that off the list. I'll go with yellow cake with chocolate icing in milk, most cereals, BBQ brisket, chocolate milkshakes, enchiladas
31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?-- Neither, I like vague endings
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?-- Sin, how was Across the Universe? Darjeeling Limited
33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?-- White with "Washington DC" emblazoned in huge pink letters across the front
34. SUMMER OR WINTER?-- Winter!
35. HUGS OR KISSES?-- Hugs, but only if you're pre-screened
36. FAVORITE DESSERT?-- Tres Leches at Chuy's
37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?-- Sin (ironically)
38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?-- Everyone else
39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?-- The Dark Tower IV - Wizards and Glass
40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?-- Gave up the pad a long time ago
41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?-- UFC Unleashed
42. FAVORITE SOUND?-- Running water or ocean
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?-- Beatles!
44. FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?-- Not as far as Sin (Maldives 9815 miles) New Zealand (7453 miles)
45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?-- Nope
46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?-- Baylor Hospital, Dallas Texas

October 19, 2007 (11:59 PM) A very special Birthday Lame Web Page shout-out to official Godmother and fellow blogger Posey, on this the starting line of her last year as a "twenty-something". I am pleased to offer a collage I call "Thanksgiving 2006", because that's the last time we saw you (how is that?). As photogenic as you are how did I manage not to take a single picture of you? It's hard to overcome the draw of the Ella but next time I'll try an occasional "hey, Posey" and then snap the shutter¹.

On a Posey-related note I have to admit I'm a little disappointed that you chose not to involve me in your wedding cake tasting and selection. Yes, I know your Mom is the original cake lover in your life but frankly I'm the best. I live for cake, I sometimes plan my day around when I think I can have some cake. Yet somehow you selected the perfect cake without me, white cake with a mixed-berry filling and what appears to be fondant icing. Now granted I can't stand fondant but sometimes you have the let the presentation trump my cake needs. I suppose as a public service I should list the best cakes, in case someone else needs help choosing a wedding cake².

2. White cake with chocolate ganache frosting (cocoa, cream, butter, and brandy - how can you go wrong)

4. Chocolate cake (dark, chocolatey good, German chocolate does not count!) with chocolate icing

October 18, 2007 (10:00 pm) Tasha recommended I watch "Across the Universe" because I'm a Beatles fan. iTunes recommends "Across the Universe" because I bought "Big Girls" by Mika. I fail to see the connection but isn't that strange? Just wait it gets better - Comrade Alex recommends "The Distant Future" because I like Flight of the Conchords, and iTunes recommends it because I bought TMBG's "The Else". Very odd.

October 14, 2007 (10:45 pm) From Yahoo news "DiCaprio To Build 'Green Hotel' in Belize". Whoopie for him, thanks for saving the world from global warming and creating a place for rich people to go to feel good about themselves without putting forth any real effort. The story goes on to note the hotel "will be built on land the Blood Diamond star owns on the island". Belize is in Central America, while islands (or "cayes") are part of the country it is certainly not an island.

October 10, 2007 (11:59 pm) It's just one incredible birthday after another! Today we wish a very special "Happy Birthday" to Official Lame Web Page Dad, Dad. Congratulations on 63 outstanding years!

October 2, 2007 (11:12 pm) A very, very special "Happy Birthday" to Official Lame Web Page Preschooler Brazil Liaison Olivia, who celebrates her graduation from "toddler" to "Preschooler" way down in Recife Brazil. According to official Lame Web Page Olivia Mom Cecelia this will be a low-key year (compared with the fiesta last year that rivaled Carnival) celebrating with some friends and family from Baltimore who are visiting. Happy birthday "O", we can't wait to see you in February!

Just a couple of quick Cutaway Cove updates, we had a lovely meal prepared on the new stove, beef with broccoli. Unfortunately we're not on the new "Markor" dining room table, it was covered with junk.

And finally, the demolition of the Lame bathroom is finally complete, it's time to start concrete board and then tile. Wish us luck that this gets completed in our lifetime.

September 27, 2007 (10:45 pm) Oh my what a long, long time since a blog. And guess what, not in the mood tonight. I would like to add to the Lame Web Page September birthday celebration cousins Ann and Dorothy. Before I go, I have to point out something that bothers the heck out of me, so I'm sure it bothers the heck out of you. Watching news coverage of the U. N. General Assembly meeting, I can't help but wonder if this is really the 21st century. For goodness sakes, every other person is sporting a blue-tooth device sticking out of their head, while the esteemed leaders of the free and not-so-free world are sporting the speakers that used to hang on a partially rolled-down window at a drive-in theater. They're not even wireless! I couldn't find a picture of Almandinejihad*, that was a real treat. That earpiece was twice as big as his little head.

* In addition to a tasty way to prepare green beans or trout, Almandine is also a minerial.

September 14, 2007 (11:45 pm) A very special and very belated Lame Birthday Shout-Out to cousin Van, congratulations on making it to your last year as a teenager, I hope you enjoy every minute of it. Also, a big "Happy Birthday" to all the other Lame Web Page family birthdays in September, God help me if I forget anyone - Lisa will kill me. Here we go - Jenny, Van, Trent, Cliff, Juliet, Miranda, Annelise, uh, uh, I think that's it. Oh boy.

Septmber 2, 2007 (10:37 pm) Lame Web Page congratulations to "The Godmother" Posey and Lawrence "of Arabia" on their recently announced engagement! No, I not referring to an appointment for a social function, an engagement to be wed. We had the pleasure of spending time with them last Thankgiving, what a great couple. Here's a picture I copped from their website, so you can experience the "full Lawrence". I think it was a Full Lawrence that won Comameci the perfect ten in '76.

Here's a little video with an update of the progress, oh so slow progress, on the Lame House. I'd love to call this "Life on the Cove" but that would be a flagrant plagarism of "Life on the Half Street", and it conjures images of pirates. We don't need that. Scroll down if you'd like to experience a before-and-after of the bathroom. (Videos relocated to the "Lame Videos Section.")

August 27, 2007 (11:15 pm) It's just one birthday after another. A super special Lame "Happy Birthday" to Charles, who is celebrating down in the land of the might Amazon, Brazil. Happy Birthday, Charles, we can't wait to see you! Also worth noting the Lame Picturnator has been updated with a few new pictures.

August 23, 2007 (12:01 am) A very super special "Happy Birthday" to Lisa, who is 35 years old today. Five years from 40, half way to 70! Wow! Sweetie, welcome to the 35 crowd, now that the baby of the family is 35 we can all start looking forward to 36. I love you sweetie!

And as a special treat we are proud to present a Lisa survey. Get to know a little more about Lisa on her birthday:

FOUR JOBS YOU'VE HAD IN YOUR LIFE
1. Gallery Director - Gallery of the Republic
2. Teaching Assistant - UT - Art Education Class
3. Designer - The Flower Press
4. Season Ticket Sales Rep. - The Dallas Opera

FOUR MOVIES YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER
1. Pulp Fiction
2. Being John Malkovich
3. The 40 Year Old Virgin
4. The Big Lebowski

FOUR CITIES YOU'VE LIVED:
1. Austin & Round Rock
2. Dallas, Richardson, Mesquite & Garland
3. Edom, Texas
4. New York (OK, only for a summer)

FOUR TV SHOWS YOU LOVE TO WATCH:
1. One Life to Live (don't judge me)
2. Flip that House/Property Ladder
3. Grey's Anatomy (again, don't judge)
4. The Colbert Report

FOUR PLACES YOU'VE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Belize
2. New Zealand
3. Las Vegas
4. Europe

FOUR WEBSITES YOU VISIT DAILY:
1. Erin and Mike's All Ella Blog
2. Alamo Drafthouse
3. The Lame Web Page
4. Chase Bank
Can I have a few more?

FOUR OF YOUR ALL-TIME FAVORITE RESTAURANTS:
1. Chuy's
2. Cafe Brazil
3. Alamo Drafthouse (it counts as a restaurant)
4. Vinnie's or is it Vinny's

FOUR OF YOUR FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Baked Cheetos (Baked Lays before they came out with these)
2. Tuna (the good kind and the canned kind)
3. Brocolli (seriously)
4. Salmon (but only when Sid makes it)
Yes, I know I'm going to die of mercury poisoning.

FOUR SCHOOLS YOU'VE ATTENDED
1. UT
2. St. Pius X
3. Bishop Lynch
4. NYU (OK - just for a summer)
I've got several more...

FOUR PLACES I'D RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. At home with Sid
2. The Alamo Drafthouse
3. At a restaurant
4. On vacation
Anywhere but work...

FOUR THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY:
1. Tony Little's Gazelle (again, don't judge me)
2. Commute to Austin/work
3. Sold some stuff
4. Walked to Starbucks downtown

August 20, 2007 (8:15 pm) Here are a couple of Lame yard-themed videos. (Videos relocated to the "Lame Videos Section.")

August 19, 2007 (10:38 pm) Congratulations to Official Lame Web Page Mother-in-law Chris, for receiveing a much deserved volunteer award from Komen. Way to go Chris! There was an awards presentation in Dallas which Lisa attended. They gave away more prizes than back when "Wheel of Fortune" gave away prizes instead of cash. I was tasked with getting some serious work done around the Lame house. Which as you know usually means not getting anything done, as in complete, and destruction and mayhem usually are the result. Below are a few examples.

But first, I've got to tell you about a movie we saw this evening at the Alamo South. A documentary called "King of Kong - A Fistfull of Quarters", chronicling the rivaly between Billy "Madison" Mitchell (the bad guy) and Steve Weebe (the good guy) in their attemts to stay on top as world record holders in Donkey Kong. In true Alamo style, they had Donkey Kong set up in the theater and you could play on the big screen ahead of time, and they had live appearances by Steve Weebe and Walter Day, the founder of "Twin Galaxies", the organization that certifies video game record scores. This could have been about anything, it was just a splended documentary. It's only playing select cities, so keep an eye out and go see it if you have the chance. Also in true Alamo style, Weebe is going to attemt to re-claim the record he lost just weeks ago to Billy Mitchell after the second screening. Now on to some pictures:

Ok, this isn't mayhem, it's our new stove. What a fine beast, with five firery burners ready to cook whatever we throw at it.

Here's a close-up of the so called "rapid" burner, in action on the wok. The reason I chose this one is the burner grate covers all five burners at one level so you can slide pans around.

On to the destruction - I scraped the ceiling of all popcorn. This was especially difficult with the vaulted ceiling. Thank goodness that's over. Official Lame Web Page Sister Erin asked what I have against popcorn. I really can't tell you, I just hate the stuff like some people hate Russell Crowe or Collard Greens. Just a matter of taste I suppose. The sheetrock is in good shape and should paint well.

I can guarantee Lisa didn't expect to come home and find her toilet gone. Two reasons, one is it was in my way, and two I found a crack between the bolt holes of the tank and didn't want to come home and find water all over the new stove, which is about where it would end up if it leaked. And besides, I love a new, pristine toilet. Oh, reason three - the old one isn't low flow, and we're all about water conservation in the new home.

A nice new shower head. I had to replace the pipe nipple from the wall because the end was corroded and wouldn't seal.

The sink and counter, I took down the mirror (ok, it actually took itself down) and scraped off all the wall paper in preparation for painting. And of course we'll put in new light fixtures and a new faucet.

And it you were wondering what is going on in the "Bathroom of Destruction", it's not much. I never really seem to have time to devote to it, so every once in a while I'll walk in and whack a hole in the wall. Good stress reliever.

August 14, 2007 (12:01 am) A very, very special "Happy First Birthday" to Official Lame Web Page Niece and Goddaughter, Ella! Have had a very productive first year of eating, pooping, growing, and learning, her Aunt Lisa had the following pearl of wisdom while we were at dinner: "One year old and all that crud to look forward to". I'm not exactly what that pearl will get you, along with a $20 you can get a latte at Starbucks.

Speaking of, I have to ask forgiveness for the following, it's late and I'm tired. There's my excuse. Quick special shout out to official Lame Web Page Reverend, Reverend Ray - Thank you so much for calling and leaving the nice message. Guess where we were at 9:45pm Friday night? Sound asleep! Next time I'll catch Suzanne's all TMBG show, what I loser I am for missing it. I will declare the official streaming internet radio station of the Lame Page is www.kafmradio.org.

August 12, 2007 (8:31 am) I'm teaching Lisa how to enter a Lame blog, it's up to you to make sure she follows through!

August 11, 2007 (3:31 pm) ALERT: Special Lame Theatre Review from Lisa - I love living in Austin, Texas. OK, I miss living in Austin, Texas. But I love working in Austin, Texas and having regular access to this awesome city. Where else can you see a production of Jesus Christ Superstar reinvented as a bilingual Jesucristo Superestrella with Jesus as a migrant worker and Mary Magdalene as an homage to Frida Kahlo? I just enjoyed a very unique adaptation of one of my favorite musicals. Unfortunately, Sid missed out on this one. His bias against all things Andrew Lloyd Webber prevented him from enjoying this uniquely Austin version of the classic 70s rock opera about a very troubled Jesus and his last days on earth. In case you didn’t know it, Austin is a great place for innovative theatre (at least in my humble opinion). We are very lucky to have some seriously cutting edge theatre at our fingertips (or least a 30 minute drive away). Don’t get me wrong, Sid and I have seen a fair amount of mediocre productions in this town… But we’ve also had our socks blown off more times than I can count. Side note – you may not know this about your lame web page hosts. But we are actually quite the little theatre patrons. We even have our own special “Dunlap” seats at the Hyde Park Theater (Sid should tell you that story sometime). So back to Jesus Christ Superstar -Austin style… Just imagine this… King Herod as a Luca Libre holding court in a wrestling ring or Pilot as a slimy politician or better yet …the Roman guards as Texas State Troopers. Let me set the stage for you. The walls were covered with Day of the Dead shadowboxes created by local artists (which are being auctioned off at the end of the run) and the normal stage lights were enhanced with the twinkle of Christmas lights (a south Austin staple). The whole theatre was bathed in red and gold. But this innovative production would have crashed and burned if not for the truly stellar cast. These folks could sing! A leather clad Judas knocked the house down with his rendition of Don’t You Get Me Wrong. He even played the guitar (a first for Judas – as far as I know). I’m sure I was not the only woman present that night who wondered if it was a sin to be attracted to Jesus. He and Mary Magdalene both set the place on fire with their Spanish and English language ballads. And best of all… the band was amazing. I’d never seen Superstar in a small setting like the Zach Scott Theatre. But it worked very well, creating a rock concert atmosphere where everything is a bit too loud but you kind of like it that way… I’ll admit I’m a big ole JC Superstar fan (go ahead and laugh if you want to… Sid) - having seen the standard version at least five times. But I highly recommend this unusual version. Too bad it leaves the stage forever this weekend… Keep Austin Theatre Weird!

Sid note: Lisa recommends enjoying photos from the production on the Zach Scott Theater website. Note: generally "theater" refers to the place and "theatre" to the art. Lisa wants to point out both the Zach Scott and Hyde Park spell it "Theatre" in their names. Go figure.

August 5, 2007 (10:05 pm) I of course want to start out with a big ol' Lame Web Page "Happy Birthday" shout out to official Lame Web Page Ella Dad Mike, happy Birthday Mike! I hope you and the family are enjoying rooting on Godmother Posey in Boston.

Check out some new pictures in the "Pictures" section (duh). There's a car dealership here having a "duh" sales event because it's a no-brainer that you have to buy a car. Strange.

This was a weekend of some work, mostly shopping. I did break out the new weed eater / edger. That was a ton of fun. We got a 4-stroke so we don't destroy the environment, but it's harder to operate and maintain. Oh the sacrifices we make. It's also really, really heavy. Got a nice edge on the yard though, but I still need to mow the front. It's also getting dry, and with no rain in sight it looks like we'll have to water for the first time.

We bought a new oven for no reason other than I want a new oven. We got a super discount thanks to a connection at work (thanks Tammy and Sam!) and also a good promotion for a 10% rebate and free delivery. Plus the model we chose was on sale for over $100 off regular price. It's a Kenmore, black, with five burners. Because you just never know. We also went to Wal-Mart and Lowes, and Home Depot, Target, Sonic, Chuy's and Ikea. Oh, and Cracker Barrel. Thanks for getting us addicted Alex. This was definitely a "deficit" weekend. I'm not even sure what we got, but there are a lot of bags (except for Ikea where you don't get free bags) on the living room floor on top of the two months of accumulated cat hair and dirt. We run quite a tight ship. Enjoy the pictures, and again a very happy birthday Mike!

August 4, 2007 (11:30 pm) Where has this day gone? I'm this close (millimeters) to debuting some pictures of finished areas of the Lame house. The dining and living rooms are complete and just need to be straightened up, and I'm putting the finishing touches to the Lame study tomorrow. Seems I'm destined to spend at least a few hours every weekend maintaining the Lame yard.

Speaking of, don't get any Black and Decker products. Cheap, yes, but you get what you pay for. I got a "Grass Hog" weed eater for about $50.00, used it once, and now nothing. I have enough smarts in the electrical department to take it apart and find that it's got current right up to the stupid motor, and no weed eating is occurring. I decided to up the manliness a notch and got a Troy-Built 4-stoke gas weed eater with a edger attachment. I'm looking forward to firing that thing up tomorrow.

I promise some pictures soon, and I'll tell the tale of the oven. If not for my own satisfaction, surely I can do it for Julia.

July 25, 2007 (11:00 pm) Godmother Posey penned an outstanding, and I mean outstanding, rant blog in reaction to an article in the Washington Post. This is not a rant, nor a famous Lame Web Page terse reply, nor my usual zealous "Devil's Advocate" play. It's just some thoughts, all my opinions, written way too late at night to make any sense.

Regarding the article cited on Life on the Half Street - Anecdotal tales are used to highlight the difference between the civilian population's attitudes of today to those of the past, but hasn't the context changed? Has war changed? These, of course, are outstanding questions. Is the civilian population at large responsible for this change in culture towards the military? Does the media report based on the state of the majority culture or to promote an agenda? Think about World War II for a minute. Going back to the statistics in the article - 11% of the population served during WWII. If I were to read that 89% of the population didn't serve in WWII I'd be surprised that's such a high number. More than 20% report they'd be disappointed if their children joined the military - would that have read the same if the article stated almost 80% would not be disappointed if their children join the military?

Back to WWII - Hitler and his massive and effective army start invading Slavic countries (the "easy" countries) and then the Western European countries (the "now we care" countries). A clear goal (liberate the occupied countries) against a clear enemy that frankly represents an entity that can surrender. Defeat Hitler's army, stop a genocide, win the war. Once Italy fell, Normandy was taken, the dominos fell from there. The parties come to the table, sign a treaty, and the re-building begins. Could anyone have imagined a rebuilding effort riddled with insurgencies making every effort to bring harm to the very people who liberated them? It seems this is a different world. In WWII of the total, massive number of casualties 50% were allied civilians. How could anyone not support that effort?

Is this a sign of the civilian support of the military or the mission our elected officials have sent it to do? It's very difficult to say you support the military but not the mission, and it works both ways.

Let's jump ahead to the new world, and look at the Gulf War. A tyrannical dictator invades a US ally in Kuwait ("thank God oil = allies"). The goal, defeat the invasion. The method? Military might. Warriors. If the same poll data sighted in the article were presented for the Gulf War, would we see the same results? I don't think so. Without any data to support my assertion I believe America in general was very much behind the mission of GWI, and thus perceived (and probably rightfully so) as supportive and respectful of the military. I remember seeing the images of mile after highway mile of Hussein’s elite Republican Guard troops and hardware charred to cinders. And I loved it! Every day more victories, more advances. Cool new technologies. CNN showing footage from the nose of a smart bomb being guided into a window of a building. That was some cool stuff! Our troops out there fighting for a noble cause, and we were behind them all the way - because we supported the mission. And this in the post-Vietnam era. Reading the article you'd think that impossible. And to assert that there wasn't a surge in military enlistment after 9/11 - I'd like to see some data to back that up because my perception is many people (yes, other than Pat Tillman) joined to fight Al Qaeda. To fight those who had so viciously attacked us on our own soil. We supported the cause.

Is it a difference in the people, is it truly a culture shift, or is it the result of attitudes changed by experiences? Would the greatest generation of World War II have the same attitude and support of our soldiers after the experiences of Korea and Vietnam? The pride, the greatness that is America starts in the home and extends to the community long before the population at a whole is considered. That's the danger of losing context in any report or article that paints the population in such broad strokes, alternately focusing a microscope on Ivy League schools (and just a couple at that) as examples of the changing culture when such a small sample is completely irrelevant.

The Author doesn't do a good job at backing up her assertion that "they're not particularly comfortable with the military in general". I don't see evidence of this. My scope is limited to two things - what I see in my day, and what I see reported to me in the media. In my day I see "ESCO support our troops" (check out the website). I see signs encouraging participation in “phone cards for troops” drives. I see a company that extends full support to those who are in the reserves and called to active duty. One of my best friends at work, a man who I admire more than just about anyone I've come across, is a Navy special forces Vietnam vet who saw extensive combat action. He is the Father of four, yes four Marines. All enlisted rank, two are in Iraq, one in Afghanistan, and one just finished his service. And I admire them all for the job they do, and certainly for doing a job that I don't believe I'm capable of doing. And like I said I admire him more than most, for his sense of family, the sense of devotion to the service of the Country that has given him and his ancestors such opportunity. That is what I see every day. I am very grateful for his service and that of Mike, my Dad for enlisting, my Grandfather and Granduncle, and grateful for the service of my Uncle who I never got to meet. I support my troops but not the current mission (the part in Iraq) and I ask our military with the utmost respect for my and my nation's protection.

July 22, 2007 (10:00 pm) We are proud to present the first in a long series entitled "The Making of a Lame Web Page Home". We'll start with some pictures from Spring 2007 including Ella, Emily's graduation, and selling the condo. Then we move to the first pictures of Cutaway. Stayed tuned for more soon! Of course, the pictures can be found in the "pictures" section to the left. I don't fault you for forgetting, it's been a while.

July 17, 2007 (10:30 pm) Another night, another meal at Cracker Barrel. When we told Alex there was only one good restaurant in Round Rock, she said "I don't think so, there's Cracker Barrel!" I scoffed, yuck. Because we'll (or at least I'll) do anything Alex says we tried it. Now we go there about six days a week, or in other words when we're not at Chuy's. Pancakes with real, pure maple syrup. Yum!

July 13, 2007 (9:00 pm) This is my first attempt at a Lame Web Page video. My dream is to someday have Flash MX or 2007 and be able to make my very own Lame movie player for the Lame Web Page. Until then, this will have to do. (Videos relocated to the "Lame Videos Section.")

July 7, 2007 (11:50 pm) We ventured downtown (everything's great when you're Downtown) for dinner at Vinnie's and a play at the Hyde Park Theatre. What fun! Still not much in the way of updates here, but check out www.jimdunlap.net for fun and fantasy!

July 3, 2007 (10:12 pm) A very special Lame Web Page Happy Anniversary to official Lame Web Page Ella makers Mike and Erin, celebrating the big "oh-eight". Congratulations you two on eight wonderful years!

June 21, 2007 (4:25 pm) Although the Lame Web Page had been dormant for probably the longest time in its Lame history, a glimmer of light can still be seen through the now rusty and corroded facade. Over the next few days and week I plan to chip away to reveal forms and shapes beneath - Comrade Alex's Red Corner, Lame Pictures, Movie Reviews (you have to see movies to do reviews), etc. Once the forms are revealed I plan to scrub them back to a shine better than you've seen in a long while.

So why the long absence? Partly having the computer tucked in the back corner of a messy and as of now unused room. Another part was just the sheer business of the last six weeks as we sold the Lame Condo and bought our new and exciting, of course Lame, house. The house is so neat we almost can't call it Lame with a straight face, we're working on that.

I suppose I should try and get you up to speed. The third piece of the blog reluctance pie was a strange worry about "jinxing" the whole process by reporting to the Lame Web Page family. This from someone who firmly does not believe in jinxes. I'll take you back as far as I can remember, which isn't far. Lisa and I would occasionally discuss selling the condo and looking for a house. Home prices seemed to be going up and up and up with no end in sight, in spite of what we hear in the news about the housing bubble bursting.

I suppose the seriousness began with Reverend Ray selling his house and moving to Colorado. He generously gave us first dibs. We looked, we liked, we discussed, but in the end it wasn't the house for us. Not too long thereafter his friend and ours Calley said she's selling her house in the Brushy Creek area of far North Austin. We went to see it and meet with her, and let me tell you it's a beautiful house at a reasonable price. She had updated it in a way that was good, which is almost impossible to find. Tastes are so different I can't understand why people update houses before selling them knowing the new owners will more than likely want to change everything anyway. Rankin debates me on this saying people want a place they can move into and start living, but I disagree.

Back to Calley, the house was beautiful but just too small to meet our goal of never moving again. This is especially reinforced having completed the move. However seeing Calley's house did introduce us to Brushy Creek. Splendid neighborhood, but WAY too far out there (oh yeah?).

So we cooled for a little, very little, while. Then I did something that drives Lisa mad. Lisa likes to discuss, I like to act (or not act). Up until this day is was not act. Then it was act. Just like that, it's time to get a realtor, get financing, and start looking to make an offer on a house. We met with a realtor referred to Lisa by some work friends, and we liked him right away. We met at the Lame Condo to outline a strategy. First thing was to hear what we needed to do to the condo to get it ready to sell. According to our realtor, who we'll refer to as "Kevin" to protect the identity of the innocent, not much needed to be done. Of course, we had emptied half of our possessions into storage because when you're trying to sell a 580 square foot condo it'd better not be cluttered. Of course, we never seemed to miss any of it, and not the boxes sit in our garage and we continue to not miss any of it, which was a point I had been trying to make for years.

We reviewed a few items that needed to be addressed, which I think are documented in the Lame pictures section. It took us about four weeks of evening and weekend attention to get the place to where we felt it could be shown to the world. Turned out the extra time was a blessing as pricing in the desirable 78704 zip code appreciated even during that short time. While we were waiting to put it on the market the rest of the Sleepy Hollow community had caught on, or heard, or figured out we were moving. The association President, who is also a realtor and happens to live in our four-plex kept telling us a) he had a potential buyer and b) there's no way we'll get what we're asking for the place. Of course, we knew what he paid for his so we weren't worried. We kept putting him of saying we aren't quite ready and when the time comes he can talk to our realtor like everyone else. Of course he wanted to work directly with us and save us a commission to our realtor (we weren't yet under contract) but of course we'd never do that.

Finally, we brought Kevin back to the condo to see what we had done and schedule an open house. We also mentioned the potential buyer via the condo pres, and he said they'd talk. We also agreed on a listing price and a schedule to depreciate the price over time. Very soon after Kevin talked to condo pres and they came back with a good offer, which we accepted. No listing, no open house, no hassles! Now the fretting over whether or not the buyer will come though begins. The buyer was super anxious to close, which was a good sign, but we had to set the closing at 30 days because that's the very fastest we could ever expect to find a house, and we didn't want to move into an apartment or hotel. So once the buyer's contract was in place, we had to find a house.

Bear in mind Lisa is a serious fiend when it comes to looking for homes. She was already aware of every home on the planet that met our criteria, and also noted that homes come on the market Friday and have contracts on Monday, so we have to be nimble and ready to strike, like a desperate single bridesmaid at the bouquet toss. I've been told I don't use enough analogies in the blog, so I am trying.

We looked some on our own, driving to neighborhoods far (no near, just far) after work getting our list of neighborhoods down so we could spend a day with the realtor looking. With list in hand we convened for a Saturday of driving around, looking in houses and deciding why we can't buy them. Crummy neighborhood, power lines, needs too much work, too small, weird layout, water tower in the back yard, you name it. After that day of searching we weren't exactly disheartened but we didn't find anything we liked, and time was quickly progressing towards the magical closing date.

We did some looking on our own, finding more prospects, and realizing that in order to get a house we wanted in a good neighborhood we'd have to raise our budget. It's like buying a car - get the EX, it's only $20 more a month! So we bumped up the top of our search and started to find more prospects. we found a house in a very nice neighborhood, Anderson Mill West (Reverend Ray was in Anderson Mill East, which is also great). This was a big two story three-ish bedroom, two-ish bathroom on a nice lot with lots of plants, on a very quiet street. The price was right, probably the lowest price we could find in that neighborhood. We went by to look at it, with the owners home. The house had many home-grown updates, including a side driveway for your RV with a one car garage shed in the back, a very, very large porch and deck, a huge vaulted ceiling, a Mexican-themed bathroom ("everything in here is from Mexico" the owner would say), a kitchen extension into the garage, and a bedroom converted into a TV room. This could be the one! So, out of fear of losing what looked like a good deal in the right neighborhood, we made an offer. we continued to visit the house and neighborhood after work, saying as we looked the veneer that hid the horrors within that this is the house. The owners came back with a counter offer which we declined. Make them sweat! Within a few days their realtor called to say they'd pitch in the difference to make our offer acceptable to the owner. We now had 10 days to back out and only lose our offer money if something better came along. Something didn't.

We did want to look at the house without the owners present, so we set that up with the realtor. This gave us the opportunity to go over it with a fine tooth comb. Poor house, all of the so-called "upgrades" had been done poorly. The Mexican bathroom would have to be torn our. The kitchen extension left the washer / dryer in the garage virtually inaccessible. The shed and garage in the back were more of an eyesore. Pieces of siding were missing. Sheetrock was repaired, poorly. Door casings were loose. The house which was cloaked under a lifetime of accumulated falderal was peaking through during our alone time as if to say "help me, I'm a good house but look what they've done". This explained the price, and why it had been on the market an unheard of 30 days. So we retracted our offer. Their realtor chewed out Kevin in a fit of disappointed rage, later to apologize. You can understand their frustration, a couple of deals were riding on this one and we're sure there was a minimum amount they had to get to make it all work (it's still not sold).

Back to square one, with homelessness quickly approaching. Deadline passed with our buyer and he was right there fulfilling every obligation. And begging to move up the closing date. So the routine continued, Lisa would email me addresses in the morning and Rankin and I would spend lunch looking at houses in the Brushy Creek area. Bear in mind while I had fallen in love with Brushy Creek, Lisa was not so sure as she hadn't really seen it. We would drive around and eliminate houses for the usual reasons. Then one day as we were trying to navigate out of the cul-de-sac maze that is Brushy Creek, we stumbled upon a grand castle with a "for sale" sign, and miraculously, flyers. "Too expensive", I say, "let's move on". "What the harm in getting a flyer?" asks Rankin. So we go over, marvel at the yard and side entry garage, and sure enough it's too expensive. Oh well. I try and tell Lisa about it but she'll have none of it. When I try she asks "can we afford it" and I reply "no", so she "pulls a Sid" and says it's pointless to talk about it. Then one night after a very late dinner I ask if she wants to go up there. Of course, because Lisa will never turn down looking at a house or a neighborhood. We drive by under cover of darkness and it's the one, it has to be. We simply must see inside. So we arrange a visit with our realtor and it's definitely the one for us.

The problem is of course it's our of our budget. But then again, only $20 more a month gets you the EX and everyone says stretch at first and it won't be so bad later, and we'll have a house we want to stay in. So Kevin talks to their realtor and determines if we want the house we have to ask a little about asking price because they have other offers. we believe it, because it seems like a good value for the area. So we make an offer and wait anxiously to hear back from the owner. The next day we drive by and the owner was our mowing his beautiful lawn. We play dumb and talk like we're somewhat interested but certainly not like people who made an offer the day before. We learn about the neighborhood, his story, why he's selling, how much his electric bill is, etc. He's a really nice guy, and you have to think a really nice person has kept a really nice house. The next day we learn that he has accepted our offer. You can imaging the surprise on his face when we get the house inspected and he sees it's the couple who drove by one Sunday.

The inspection comes back clean with a few minor things worth a couple of bucks off the selling price, but not much. So now the ballet of selling, moving, and buying has to be coordinated. What a mess! So here's the plan. The closing is set for Wednesday May 30. Monday is Memorial Day. Tuesday will be the walk-through. So we get a truck on Saturday, and start loading it with all of our worldly possessions. We stay in a hotel Monday and Tuesday nights, close Wednesday, and unload our stuff. Thursday we clear out the storage shed and receive our appliances, and take back the truck. Problem #1 - there are no trucks to be had, none. Finally, I find a sweet and crusty woman at the "Storage Kings of South Austin" who had a sufficiently sized truck we can pick up on Monday. I have never been so tired. Of course the cleaning continues early into the next morning. Somehow we get it all done. I'll let the pictures take up the story from here, check back in a few days to see what's new on the Lame Web Page pictures section.

May 27, 2007 (9:00 am) Today's agenda - packing, taking plants to their temporary home, and buying appliances. The Lame Web Page will be on so you can watch the progress! I promise a blog with the entire house tale, it's a good one. Silly as it sounds I haven't wanted to write about it until it's a done deal. Not that I believe in jinxes, but can you be too safe?

May 26, 2007 (2:47 am) Yes, we're still here! Sorry about the complete and utter lack of Lame Blog updates. So much to tell you about, but three in the morning isn't the time.

May 14, 2007 (10:10 pm) I fixed the flaw in the Lame Mother's Day Lame Web Page Family Mother's Tribute, so while it's less lame it certainly is still Lame.

May 13, 2007 (11:03 pm) Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms of the Lame Web Page family, especially official Lame Web Page Sister Erin, who is celebrating her very first. I am pleased to present our Lame Mother's Day tribute, which is truely Lame in that it has a very obvious problem. Frankly, it's too late tonight to try and figure this one out. So I present to you in unfinished (and probably never to be finished) form:

July 27. 2007 - I did actually fix this, on the first attempt some stationary pictures would overlap the zooming pictures.

May 6, 2007 (5:56 pm) I'm messing with using style sheets on the Lame Web Page, we'll see how this works. I've also chosen a spiffy new font and reduced the size to something less silly.

April 30, 2007 (11:15 pm) Certainly it's too late today for much of an update. I did however post an ever increasingly rare Lame Top Ten list, contributed by Charles in celebration of our happy house hunting. Enjoy!

April 27, 2007 (11:00 pm) Julia, here's the deal. We have no kids, we don't drive 300 miles a day like you to balance work and family, there really are no distractions here that should prevent me from updating the Lame Web Page. Yet somehow you find time to read, and I can't seem to find time to update. So for you, Julia, I present Lame New Condo Carpet pictures. And while we're at it, a very happy birthday to you, fellow Taurus!

April 15, 2007 (9:45 pm) I promised myself I'd do a Lame Web Page update after I completed my chores for the weekend. Chores completed, and look at that. It's almost bedtime. Lisa was out of town this weekend so I worked on the condo (yes, more to be done). I completely re-did the inside of the cabinet under the bathroom sink, and did some more painting. Just a few little touch-ups left and we'll be ready to go on the market.

Since we're only a year and seven months away from a very important U.S. Presidential election, I thought I should do my civic blogger duty and start posting little out of context snippets about the many thousand candidates. I am proud to present this invaluable service to the Lame Web Page family. Let's see what they're saying this week.

Hillary "Sir Edmond" Rodham Clinton - While campaigning in New Hampshire she promises if elected Government reform, making Government more "competent, cost-effective, and transparent." What a progressive thinker, no Presidential candidate in history has promised Government reform!

John "What's My Real Party" McCain - McCain's promises as of late include vetoing bills with special project funding provisions (pork-barrel), balance the budget and fix Social Security and Medicare. Another wild forward thinker, again, what Presidential candidate has ever promised any of that?

Democratic Presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich (hopeful is a big understatement) tried to justify his poor ability to raise funds by saying his small budget makes him the only candidate who isn't tied to special interests. Cue crickets chirping.

Rudy "I was NY mayor on 9/11" Giuliani asked the people during a campaign stop in Iowa to put aside conservative social issues to vote based on what the Republican party is for, not against. I tend to agree, I've always found it odd with all of the problems facing this Country people still vote based on social issues, especially conservative middle America (think Bush). Who gives a crud if gay people get married, what are you going to do about the war?

"Catchers" Mitt Romney promises to increase military spending and add 100,000 troops to the armed forces. Again, I admire honesty in the face of something that won't be popular with everyone.

Barack Bahama Mama Obama - Obama spoke at a fundraiser in Florida, promising to end the war in Iraq and spend more on health care, education, and alternative energy. All of that is inline with what you expect a Democrat to say, and eventually do, but you don't typically hear it said in campaign speeches. Which leads me to the point - we have to elect Obama because clearly he's the only one capable of telling the truth.

Now I should solve the troop funding debate Congress is having with Bush. I do agree it's wrong to tie a troop withdrawal date to the funding bill. We all know the troop withdrawal date is January 20, 2009 when the next President is inaugurated. Here's what they need to do - send a bill to El Presidente that the only condition of the funding is he has to identify the objective that has to be met for us to know we've won the war. That very, very basic principal seems to be lost right now. Wars have objectives, usually the surrender of the enemy Government. What it is in Iraq who the hell knows. And Bush has to be specific - no "spread freedom and democracy" or "destroy the evil doers." I want some answers! Have we won when the Iraqi people stop trying to harm our troops? Frankly, is that realistic as long as we're occupying the County? People tend to resist occupation, except for France. Or is it when Iraqis stop trying to kill each other? It seems all of the things that we have to do to control the secretarian violence (restricted movement, curfews) are the antithesis of the very freedom we're trying to bring to the country. Perhaps that's why Iraq was a Dictatorship in the first place? Enough of that soapbox, it's time for bed.

April 10, 2007 (10:30 pm) There's story in the news about Rudy Giuliani noting he had trouble answering accurately when asked about the cost of some basic food items. Rudy G. guessed a gallon of milk at $1.50 and bread $1.25. Now of course we all know that's way off. The story goes on to say this might be a sign that Rudy G. is out touch with the peeps. I yelled in despair "does the media think the voters as so stupid as to think the people running for President are average people?" To which Lisa replied yes, absolutely. The last Presidential candidate to receive this type of coverage was George Herbert Walker "Texas Ranger" Bush when he expressed shock and awe over a bar code reader at a supermarket. Yet one more example of liberal media bias - not once do I recall the media pointing out that John Kerry probably doesn't know what bread is ("oh, you mean a croissant.")

April 9, 2007 (9:45 pm) I use freezer bags for my sandwiches. Why use those small sandwich bags, struggling and squishing your delicious artesian bread when you can gently slide on into the larger bag?

April 9, 2007 (9:30 pm) I just saw a Vonage commercial on TV while watching a Scrubs rerun. I recall reading that a judge had issued an injunction preventing Vonage from pursuing any new customers while they're defending a patent lawsuit. Maybe I can take part in a class action suite against Vonage. You heard it here first!

April 3, 2007 (10:15 pm) Well here we are, another evening gone by. I didn't get home from work until 8:00, then we loaded up some more stuff and took it to our little storage unit / summer cottage. Then we went to Magnolia for a relaxing meal. We got out table out of storage so we'll have a place to perhaps eat in once in a while. Problem is when I cook it's a minimum two hour ordeal and who wants to eat at 10pm. We did have pasta with meat sauce (not homemade, Newman's own), so I suppose that counts.

The new carpet is really nice, we're going to miss enjoying it. We're about two weekends from being ready to hit the market. Anyone need a condo?

Check out the latest blog at www.jimdunlap.net and enjoy the new link to Godmother Posey's Supreme Blog Page up top there.

March 31, 2007 (12:50 pm) New blog at www.jimdunlap.net, nothing new on the lame web page. The lame web cam is on for the afternoon, but I still haven't fixed the 20 second refresh problem.

March 25, 2007 (10:12 pm) Check out the latest photos from Erin and Ella's visit to Dallas, and this weekend's fun condo projects (as always, pictures section on your left). By the way Erin, I know you're my sister and I'm always supposed to take your side, but that was a lot closer to "da da" than "ma ma". I think Mike gets the first words.

March 23, 2007 (10:15 pm) Today is a very special day for one the Lame Web Page family's very own - it's Alex's Big Time Fun Happy 35th Birthday! Happy Birthday Alex, we love you! I'm a little sad that I had to go all the way back to 2004 to find a picture of Alex. That means we need to see her more often and take more pictures! Happy birthday, my friend.

March 18, 2007 (9:00 am) The Lame Web Cam is on, but there's a glitch in the cam page. It's s long story, the short of it is the cam refreshes every 20 seconds rather than 5. The webcam transmits four images to the website, I only display one. That's a challenge for a later date.

March 10, 2007 (10:45 pm) A minor Lame Web Page update, you will find part six in the six part series "Sid and Lisa's Lame New Zealand Adventure." Click on "pictures" on the left and scroll down. I'm also happy to report after a long battle with a useless web host (Globat) over the domain name jimdunlap.net is back and better than ever! Ok, not it's exactly the same, but hopefully tomorrow I'll be able to work on the "better" part. You can conveniently link off the Lame Web Page master control panel on the left.

March 5, 2007 (11:29 pm) Lisa and I spent all evening cleaning up the condo to meet with a realtor tomorrow. I'll let you know how that goes.

March 4, 2007 (9:40 pm) Again, too tired to do any Lame Web Page updates. I did manage to add captions to the "New Years 2007" pictures, check them out. Lisa and I spent yesterday renting a storage unit and moving some of our crap out to free up some space to spruce up the place before we put it on the market. Today we had a great day - we went to Chuy's on Barton Springs for lunch, and it was delicious. Then we went to the 79th annual Zilker Kite Festival. The day was perfect, totally sunny, cool, and breezy. I'll have pictures posted someday (no more false optimism) but for now here's one pic. I hope you can see all of the kits on this small scale.

February 18, 2007 (10:00 pm) Yes, we did make it back from Brazil, and yes I owe you some serious updates. Getting back to work, getting sick, many things are in the way right now. Soon, though, soon you'll see some progress.

February 5, 2007 (9:45 pm) And we're off! In very Lame fashion I did not do a single update I intended to do before our trip, except I did post New Years 2007 Lame Pictures. There's a new, fun fill feature to these - create your own captions! And let me tell you, they are ripe for the captioning. Also a spectacular bonus feature, a new Back Yard Zoo from official Lame Web Page author and animal expert, Dad.

Over many years we have had calls from people saying they had purchased a Richardson’s ground squirrel at an area flea market or pet store and wanted to surrendered it for various reasons. Inevitably, instead of a Richardson’s ground squirrel it would be a black-tailed prairie dog. A few years back the sale of prairie dogs became illegal because it was found that they might be carriers of a serious disease. Pet shop owners, having a few in stock, simply changed the name to recoup their losses.

Richardson's ground squirrels are often confused with their relatives the prairie dogs and are known by many names, including gophers, prairie gophers, and tawny American marmots. They are members of the squirrel family and are found in the short grass prairie of North America , ranging from Canada to Montana , North Dakota , South Dakota , and Minnesota . They ain’t from around here!

They hibernate four to eight months to avoid inclement weather and even give birth and raise their young underground in burrows. The burrows are networks of winding tunnels and chambers that have five to seven exits. Two to five of the chambers are for sleeping and one is the bathroom. The bathroom, I am sure, is a one-holer.

Predominantly herbivores, they eat primarily leaves, flowers and seeds, depending on where they live. Because so much of the prairie has been overtaken for agriculture the prairie grasses have been overgrazed and the ground squirrels are forced to eat what little vegetation remains such as seeds from wheat, barley and oats. They will also eat small insects.

In their natural habitat they can be agricultural pests and are often sought for extermination. But because they are prey for many carnivores and raptors it is important for them to maintain their status in the ecosystem.

Since they have not been successfully bred in captivity, the animals that can be purchased have been born in captivity to pregnant females who were removed from the wild. That is the most important reason they should never be purchased as pets.

Although cute and furry, Richardson ’s ground squirrels are wild animals and not recommended as pets. Even when born in captivity and handled on daily basis from about 3 weeks of age, when the hormones kick in you are asking for injury. Once bought as a pet they cannot be released back into the wild successfully because they can only survive as part of a family unit. You have heard this before-- “it takes a village.”

Expecting to receive a prairie dog this time I was surprised to find that this animal actually is a Richardson’s ground squirrel. (There is no connection to the city south of Plano .) The owner gave up this ground squirrel after one-and-a-half years because “it wasn’t friendly anymore.” That’s commonly referred to as sexual maturity in a wild animal.

“If we had a keen vision and feeling of all ordinary human life, it would be like hearing the grass grow and the squirrel’s heart beat, and we should die of that roar which lies on the other side of silence.” George Eliot

Now, that’s really profound, evocative, poignant and the word squirrel is in there.

February 4, 2007 (7:50 am) The "Brazil Preparations" cam is up and running all day - check it out in the Lame Resources section to the left.

January 28, 2007 (4:37 pm) Cooking cam is on tonight. On the menu - vegetable soup for tomorrow and salmon with rice and lentils and cauliflower (yuck) for tonight.

January 21, 2007 (10:45 pm) With the ice storm of 2007 a distant memory I present a couple of final pictures. First, a "rebirth" of sorts as I chiseled 1/2" of ice off the car.

Some random thoughts. I love pens, I'm very picky about them. I can't stand cheap ballpoints. I also hate flairs. I love roller balls and the Bic "Atlantis". Two main criteria - they must be retractable and blue. I find this ironic considering I write like a three-year-old and I almost always prefer to type. I really hate Jeremy Piven. I have a personal no lotion policy.

From Yahoo news - Referring to American Idol, Rosie O'Donnell lashed out at the way contestants were treated by "three millionaires, one probably intoxicated." She rambles on "If you keep serving people crap and telling them it's a meal, they're eventually going to think it is a meal." No Rosie, only a stupid person would think that. Typical liberal attitude that "I'm smart but you're not", that's why it bothers her. Go back to bickering with Trump.

And now to the wine caper - I know nothing about wine. The only way I can describe a wine to you is "I like it" or "I don't like it". Most fall into the later category. There's one glaring red exception - Messina Hof Cabernet Savingnon 2002 barrel reserve. As I'm sure you notice, that's pretty specific. So far this exceptional vintage has been readily available at Central Market and HEB. You can imagine my shock when one day shopping a week or so ago I came across an empty shelf. I gave it a couple of days, thinking they might be out of stock.

When I returned at first glance I was relieved, there was wine in the proper spot on the shelf. My joy turned to sorrow when I noticed it was from 2005. So the next morning Lisa and I headed over to HEB to see if they had any, pre-determined to buy whatever they have. Oh, sweet wine - they had 12 bottles. We loaded up the cart and this wise cracking smart-ass walks up and jokes, "it's not noon yet, is it"? Bear in mind it was a Sunday, which in Texas buying alcohol before noon on Sunday is a God-mandated no-no. Also, it was about ten so the question was a stupid one. So we put our wine back and debated walking around the store for two hours but decided against it. Fortunately when we returned the next day there it was, so we snatched it up. That will keep us for a few weeks, I don't want to think beyond that.

January 21, 2007 (11:33 am) New Zealand part five - Christchurch pictures are now posted. One more set to go, I'm determined to have them up before the fast-approaching one year anniversary.

January 16, 2007 (2:43 pm) Blizzard 2007 - Under Seige continues. Our rations are starting to get low, I was forced to make a "whatever's in the pantry" soup, which actually turned out pretty good. Beans (navy, black, garbanzo, and refried) mixed with enchilada sauce and broth. Here's a picture or the accumulation, it's darn near 1/4" thick. We even had some big snowflakes for a while but it's back to sleet and freezing rain.

January 16, 2007 (10:24 am) Live weather update from Storm Team Lame - the sleet continues, but spirits are high and our rations currently sufficient for survival. Live from the driveway; as you can see in this graphic photo icicles are approaching 10" in length. Unprecedented!

This is a good time to report that the Lame Honda Accord is back from the body shop, a mere three weeks to repair. We've covered the car with ice to protect it against future damage.

While we're at it - Lisa, bless her unstable self, called me one day last week to tell me she tripped on the sidewalk. "Tripped over what?" I asked. "Nothing" she replied. So in fact she just plain old fell down. Here's a picture of the damage.

One final picture, this is from two weekends ago and it gives you a glimpse into what preparations are required for a Lame Web Page Update. That's a five-step hot ham and cheese sandwich. Step 1 - under the broiler place four slices of black forest ham on a foil sheet for 3 minutes. Step 2 - add two slices of wheat bread to toast for 1 1/2 minutes. Step 3 - flip the bread to toast the other side. Step 4 - add a slice of provolone cheese to the ham and another to one slice of bread, toast for another 2 minutes. Step 5 - spread on some Central Market organic whole grain mustard, assemble, and serve with an Izze soda, 100% fruit juice and carbonated water, no sugar added. Yum.

January 16, 2007 (9:30 am) Blizzard 2007 continues, there is ice, actual frozen water, on the ground and the cars. Storm Team 9 Accu-Freeze Adonis 4000 First-Warning Time-Warp Future Tracking Slickometer Multi-Team Outpost Coverage reports the ice will continue throughout the day. More as this develops.

January 13, 2007 (9:30 pm) Welcome to Blizzard 2007! Lisa and I have all of our provisions stockpiled in our bunker, and we're prepared to defend them from our crazy neighbors. We'll see you after the Spring thaw, which is scheduled for Monday afternoon.

January 7, 2006 (6:23 pm) I have a lot of movie reviews to catch up on. I've posted a review of "Stranger than Fiction", which I think has turned out very, very Lame. We're off to see "Children of a Lesser God" at the Alamo, which is supposed to be good. We shall see.

January 6, 2007 (10:00 am) Greetings Lame Web Page family. The Lame web cam is on today, in the "resources" section to the left. Today's theme - cleaning cam! We shall see...

January 2, 2007 (10:03 pm) A very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the entire Lame Web family! We had a tremendous time over both holiday weekends visiting family and friends. I'm working on a "Sid's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions" which I hope to post not too far into the new year. One is to update the blog every other day. I feel a renewed sense of vigor, which hopefully can be sustained for decades to come.