The Backyard Zoo

by Jim Dunlap

"Broken Turtle"

He must have heard the ever-increasing sound of the whine. I am sure he felt the vibration emanating from the asphalt. Millions of years of evolution dictated that he have only one defensive reaction when on dry ground. That is to pull everything in and then wait. In this case instinct chose poorly. He was hit by a big piece of rubber that was attached to tons-o-Toyota. He cracked like a pecan in a nutcracker.

He is a local turtle, the red-eared pond slider, and I named him Humpty Dumpty. He came to us as lumpy pavement pâté with a pulse. His shell was in many pieces held together by muscle attachment and thin skin. It looked hopeless and I was about to subject him to a merciful euthanasia. It just so happened that our veterinarian, Dr. Ted Staph, was in the building on other business and offered to help.

I was a bit skeptical when he suggested that he could use an acrylic resin to mend that shell. This "glue" is used to seal cracks in the equine hoof when they get a pedicure. With veterinary skill, seemingly vast experience in masonry work, and an obvious affection for jigsaw puzzles, Dr. Staph went to work putting Humpty-Dumpty back together.

The mending went marvelously well. Now complete with a beautiful, mostly ersatz carapace, (your words for the day) Humpty will soon join his friends at the pond. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again, but they didn’t know Dr. Staph. By the way, do you know why that other Humpty Dumpty had a great fall? He had to make up for a terrible summer. Ha!

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