The Backyard Zoo

by Jim Dunlap

"Spider Cam"

What is it you ask? First of all, because this animal makes rare, fleeting appearances, I was forced to shoot the camera from the hip. Then I am reminded of a nineteen-fifty's comedy routine. "This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I’ll never know!"

Well, I spotted a giant spider in my security camera, but I think I know how he got there. Actually he spends a lot of time in the metal box that houses the security camera over the top of our back door. At first his on-screen image was brought to our attention by a young lady who was temporarily manning the phones. She was about to run screaming into the lobby when a staff member assured her that the spider was actually outside.

With the help of a stepladder and a Phillips screwdriver I opened the top of the camera. The spider, which was greatly magnified by the proximity of the lens, was a two-inch wolf spider that had apparently given up his terrestrial existence and had gone into showbiz.

The common wolf spider, one of two hundred species in the U.S., can be seen scampering across the sidewalk and garden stones. The average size is about two inches across with a tan body and yellow stripes. They are sometimes encountered in the woods when they run across your cross-training shoe. They are called wolf because they track down and catch their insect prey.

After mating and when its time, the female wolf spider spins a silken sack which is about the size of a marble. She will deposit 300 to 500 eggs in the sack. The egg sack will remain attached to her abdomen until they hatch. The spiderlings, which are not much bigger than the head of a pin, will remain attached to her abdomen until they undergo their first molt. Some of the young will simply walk away without so much as a goodbye. Ungrateful kids! Others will produce a single thread of silk that will catch a passing breeze and they will sail off into the sunset. At least mom will have a chance to wave.

Wolf spiders can and will bite. It takes an act of congress to get them to bite and if they do it is not much worse than a bee sting. That’s enough for me because bee stings hurt!

My daughter is home for the holidays and as always, opened my eyes to some new material. I found my kind of joke in an appropriate place; on a Popsicle stick. "What do you call a flying skunk? "Are you ready? "A Smellicopter!" That's my kind of humor.

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