The Backyard Zoo

by Jim Dunlap

"Timber Rattlesnake"

Richardson called to say they had a rattlesnake and they were on their way to us. We were expecting an irate Texas ratsnake, but sure 'nuff it was a timber rattlesnake. So I guess that if he fell in the forest and there was no one around, it would not make a sound. Where was I?

The timber rattler is native to the northeastern part of the state. He is also known as the "velvet-tail" or "banded" rattler. Of the two color phases, yellow and black, we have the yellow. The next time your spouse accuses you of totally misunderstanding what was said, ask this question: "If you had twenty sick sheep and two of them died, how many would you have left?" If the answer is twenty-four, you've made a point. Sorry about that. It came up at a poetry reading. He grows to over a yard long and is one of the more laid back of the rattlers. He won't strike unless you really get him (I'm so ashamed!) rattled. He dines upon rats and rabbits and hunts at night amongst the second growth (short stuff) in heavily wooded areas. The average of ten babies are live born in the late summer. As is the case in all rattlesnakes, the bite of one of these babies might not kill you, but it would still put a wrinkle in your Lee's.

This snake arrived in the aquarium that was confiscated along with him. It was a twenty-gallon tall that had been hermetically sealed with at least one full roll of duct tape. One wondered how the animal ever got the essentials like food, water, or air!

Have no fear because this snake will catch the first F150 headed toward Detroit this spring. There’s an East Texas town by that name you know. Please excuse today's column. My mind has always wondered, but as of late it also wanders. Adieu.

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